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Cheater or Not a Cheater!

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2014 at 9:35 PM
  • 13 Replies

Hello All, I have been marriied for twenty years. My husband used to come home drunk every other night. There are times when he would not even remember how he got home or better than that he does not remember what he did.  He would get mad when if an old man friend would speak to me he would hit the ceiling.  When he can text, talk on the phone and do whatever with other women.  I pay all the bills and I pulled the phone bill and his phone and noticed the same phone bill everyday all day.  I confronted him and he told me that he could talk to these women about anything.  I was like WTH!  I am starting to feel that we should not be together anymore.  This hurts so bad!  This has been occurring for years.  I heard him talking on the phone with other women.  I have ;isten to phone messages from other women.  I could go on and on.  I was starting to feel bad about checking his cell phone that I pay for.  I don't have anyone to talk too.  I am so unhappy.  I think I still love him, I don't know anymore.  My two best friends are no longer on this earth, my mother and my best friend.  He figures he can do whatever he wants. I have never cheated or disrespected him.  I don't believe in cheating. I need to know what to do.  Please help.

by on Oct. 3, 2014 at 9:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
DenaAndRichard
by on Oct. 3, 2014 at 10:04 PM
1 mom liked this
He doesn't work? He drinks almost everyday? He's talking to other women all the time?
What would you tell me if I were the one that posted your post? I'm not going to tell you to leave or stay, I will tell you I wouldn't put up with that behavior, it would change real fast.
M4LG5
by Silver Member on Oct. 3, 2014 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Having "love" is not enough to stay in a marriage. There needs to be respect, courtesy, empathy, responsibility, etc. It sounds like that is not happening at all in your marriage. You are doing a lot of chaos control because of his actions when I think you need to take care of yourself.

Too many mistakes....Not enough respect. Love alone can't hold a marriage together. Believe me...I'm trying to figure out if my own marriage can work.
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Oct. 4, 2014 at 6:38 AM
2 moms liked this

Dump his butt. 

Shut off the cell phone. 

If he wants to run around like a free man, let him. Go find someone who is worthy of the commitment you want to give a partner.  

Life is WAY too short to be living in misery. 


UCFknight
by Brenda on Oct. 4, 2014 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

20 years with a drunk and someone who cares so little for your feelings. I hope you listen to the advice given. It's not that you love him, it's that you are afraid of being alone. You said it yourself, you have no one. You are holding on to the only person you think you have left. Which by the way, is a horrible, God awful man. 

It's time to see who you can meet, and what you can do on your own. You deserve happiness. This man will never be happy. And misery loves company. I would kick him out. Let him be the man he wants to be, and let him talk to however many women he wants.

Get out there and meet people in your area! Find hobbies you have always wanted to try, join a gym, go visit a church, if you are religious. You will be alone if you choose to not put yourself out there! So get out!

msmarie66
by on Oct. 4, 2014 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you so much!  I really needed to hear this from someone other than myself.  It is time for me to LIVE!!!

ebmars2681
by on Oct. 4, 2014 at 2:49 PM
2 moms liked this

Mobile Photo

ebmars2681
by on Oct. 4, 2014 at 2:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Someone sent that to me. I thought I'd share it with you.

Quoting ebmars2681:

Mobile Photo

ebmars2681
by on Oct. 4, 2014 at 2:52 PM
This!!!

Quoting TommyAbby:

Dump his butt. 

Shut off the cell phone. 

If he wants to run around like a free man, let him. Go find someone who is worthy of the commitment you want to give a partner.  

Life is WAY too short to be living in misery. 

ebmars2681
by on Oct. 4, 2014 at 2:53 PM
You are so on point with this!!

Quoting M4LG5: Having "love" is not enough to stay in a marriage. There needs to be respect, courtesy, empathy, responsibility, etc. It sounds like that is not happening at all in your marriage. You are doing a lot of chaos control because of his actions when I think you need to take care of yourself.

Too many mistakes....Not enough respect. Love alone can't hold a marriage together. Believe me...I'm trying to figure out if my own marriage can work.
earthangel1967
by on Oct. 7, 2014 at 5:16 AM

That's a girl! You can do this! You need to love yourself and create for yourself the life you deserved all along. You have been settling for far less than your personal best. You are better off happy and healthy and peaceful and single than in any relationship with someone who doesn't cherish and value you the way you deserve. Life is too short and priceless to live this way one more day longer than you have to. 

good luck.

Quoting msmarie66:

Thank you so much!  I really needed to hear this from someone other than myself.  It is time for me to LIVE!!!


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