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Rough Patch

Posted by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 1:15 PM
  • 8 Replies

 How do you handle when your relationship hits a rough patch?

Me and SO have been I guess co-existing, the flames seem to be gone for the moment. When I try to talk to him about it he says that he is good and okay with our relationship and that its all in my head and that I need to figure out if I am happy or not.

He seems to be a lot more insensative then normal but is pointing the figure at me and saying that its my issues and I need to deal with it.

by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 1:15 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Amber5151
by Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 1:29 PM
We have been in one for while. I recommend the book The 5 love languages. It really makes sense to me. We also have been going to counseling.
bresmommy21
by Member on Nov. 4, 2014 at 2:48 PM

Sounds similar to my marriage at times. I will say its him, he will say I thought it was you. Go in circles.

Beachdeprived
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:46 PM

I think all relationships/marriages have ups and downs and they may not happen at the same time for the people in the relationship. Maybe your SO really does feel good with things right now but for some reason, you don't. Doesn't mean that one versus the other is to blame...its just the way we perceive things and probably the whole men are from venus...women are from mars. I guess if I were in your shoes at the moment....maybe just step back and analyze why you think its a rough spot and he doesn't and what you need to feel better about things. Maybe you just need a date night with him or just some one on one time... sometimes life just gets in the way and we have to set our own priorities and take action to make ourselves happy. Don't wait for him to make the move because he sounds content.... you take the lead. :) Let him know what you need and make it happen if you can.  To quote him....maybe it is your issue in the sense that he has no idea why you feel you guys are co-existing. I always think men are mind readers but they aren't even close! :)

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:46 PM
Communication and be honest with him about how you're feeling.
furbabymum
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 3:56 PM

 Well, do you? Happiness is a choice. Make the choice.

As for the rest, it happens. If you're not connecting like you want then put some effort into it. Get hobbies together or separate so you have something to talk about. Or read the news or something. Anything to get you discussing something. Don't stress it too much either.

MomToovey
by Marianne on Nov. 4, 2014 at 6:10 PM

 Ok, so he thinks it's in your head. It's still there though. So he already knows you think there's a problem, even if he doesn't agree. Try a different approach. Let him know you understand how he feels, but that you're having a hard time shaking this feeling. Play the problem, not the victim, and ask him for his help.

OrientalLily
by on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:07 PM

Same here.  Dh always says things are fine and that I'm being paranoid.  Then BAM!!!!!  Huge fight.  Happens at least once a month.  Not good.  Thinking it's time to throw in the towel... :(

No advice.  Sorry.  I hope you can find some resolution.

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Nov. 4, 2014 at 8:45 PM

Would it be possible to plan a date night? Do you guys need some alone time? Time to focus on just the two of you?

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