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How often to you have sex?

Posted by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:04 PM
  • 40 Replies

Hi everybody, new to the group.

I've been happily married for 5 years.  We have 2 kids, ages 1 and 2. I would say we typically have sex about 8-10 times per month.  We probably would have more but we are only home together at night a few nights a week due to our crazy schedules.  I am satisfied with our sex life, and up until yesterday I thought he was too.

He had a really bad week at work (which I didn't know - he didn't tell me) and I guess he was looking for some "comfort" the other night lol.  Well... I fell asleep before we even started.  He was not really talking to me the next day, and finally he told me that he felt like I blew him off because I fell asleep, and that it bothered him that I don't seem to care if we have sex or not.  Which of course isnt true... I just fell asleep!  I work FT and have two LITTLE kids.  Literally, we have sex just about everytime we are together at night.  I can count on one hand the number I've turned him down in the years we've been together.  And I really like sex!

I think I'm going to just put this off as he had a bad week and was more pissed I didn't pick up on it than he is pissed I didn't put out.  Because I just can't believe he would be that mad about me falling asleep once!  I'm just kind of baffled by the whole situation.  I guess I just wanted to vent, but I'm wondering what kind of sex life other people have with small children at home.  Are we unusual?

by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
epoh
by on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:07 PM
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We aren't married and don't live together, but we spend almost every night together. I can count on 2 fingers the number of times I've turned him down and I can count on 1 finger the number of times he's turned me down.

I fell asleep in the middle of foreplay (my days usually run me from about 6am until midnight) and so he flipped me over and woke me up. Hehe. :)

Just talk to him and assure him you love and desire him but that your schedule has been tough. And then make some hot love.
UCFknight
by Brenda on Nov. 24, 2014 at 2:36 PM

It happens sometimes. Just give him some extra attention next time. We all have done it at least once in our marriage and not seen the signs, or were just too tired to notice them ;) I can count on one hand in our 11 years of marriage that I have turned him down, or not realized he was trying to start something. 

LadyBast
by Brenda on Nov. 24, 2014 at 7:16 PM

Welcome to the group and how often when we want to no specific amount of time or ??

CharmMom1216
by Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 12:29 AM
Its been a month.
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 5:37 AM

 Most men need sex to feel loved and to destress. When you turn down sex (or fall asleep) they don't see it as just being turned down, but a total rejection. They become physically stressed from lack of sex, and add stress from work on top of it.. they can really react strongly to not gettin' any.

98765
by Silver Member on Nov. 25, 2014 at 6:50 AM
2 moms liked this

8-10 x a month? He should count himself lucky. We have been married almost 13 years, have 2 kids, both work...etc etc....We have sex about 1-2x a MONTH. He likes t about once weekly but sometimes I just cant do it. I'm so tired. 

We look forward to when the kids are older and dont require so much of us! And of course we look forward to vacations! :)

earthangel1967
by on Nov. 25, 2014 at 8:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I understand wanting to get a comparison scale of other couple's sex lives to compare yours to but please keep some things in mind when you do that... every couple is different, some have higher or lower sex drives wants/needs than others, some have partners that travel alot for work, some are in long distance relationships, some have access to babysitters and  some don't, some both work a lot of hours and some have more free time, some have healthy relationships outside the bedroom and some have awful relationships outside the bedroom both which can affect their sex lives... so I'm just saying there is SO much more to each couple's answer than how often they do it... just keep that in mind if you are going to compare yourself to others ok? 

When Todd and I were still raising our 5 kids we had sex anywhere from 2-5 times a week, it varied depending on how many hours he was working mostly but we were happy with our sex life and really enjoyed it. Some of those times were just quickies but we liked those too. 

Now that since we've been empty nesters the last 3 1/2 yrs and the 5 kids are all grown up and moved out on their own... we have lots of  US time and lots of privacy and now we have sex usually 5-10 times a week, most often it's between 5-7 though. It's a lot easier when the kids are not around. lol 

View Full Size Image YVONNE

epoh
by on Nov. 25, 2014 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this
Hell, I feel that way with a lack of sex.

Quoting Fayanne:

 Most men need sex to feel loved and to destress. When you turn down sex (or fall asleep) they don't see it as just being turned down, but a total rejection. They become physically stressed from lack of sex, and add stress from work on top of it.. they can really react strongly to not gettin' any.

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Nov. 25, 2014 at 3:36 PM

Often enough for both of us

furbabymum
by on Nov. 25, 2014 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this

 Pretty much every single day, sometimes twice. I've been sick, and now I gave it to him, so it's been 3 days. Our kids are 1 and 3.

Dh complained I fell asleep once and I told him if he's going to spoon me and expect me to be psychic he's never going to get laid again.

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