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my daughter

Posted by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:17 PM
  • 14 Replies
Hiya everybody am new to this site am having big problem if anyone can give me some advice been with my partner for 9years we split up 4months ago because my 15 year old threatend to go her dads if he doesn't go we had tough times for years he had issues from his passed so that put pressure on all of us wasn't very nice to live with my mum dad dislike him because the way he was we have 6 year daughter together and I do love him and he changing his ways but don't no how sort this do I just move on without him even thou I want to be together and try work things out
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 6:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 8:26 PM

 uhm..

Can you split that up into sentences and explain a little further?

Your 15 year old daughter threatened to go to her father's if your SO didn't leave, so he left?????

When does a 15 year old child get to call the shots?

The rest I couldn't sort out... it's all one huge run-on sentence and too many details are missing.

 

Erin270601
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 8:30 PM

Its a bit hard to understand the entire situation... but if you have been together 9 years and split cause your daughter threatened to leave... If he's a good guy, and you love him... why would there be a question.. I guess I don't know about the situation enough... what way is he that your mom and dad don't like him??

angl_gurl1
by on Jan. 6, 2015 at 9:36 PM

all i can say is huh?

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:00 PM
I was confused by it,myself!
This is why this world is partly crazy,kids are treated as adults and adults are treated like kids.


Quoting Fayanne:

 uhm..


Can you split that up into sentences and explain a little further?


Your 15 year old daughter threatened to go to her father's if your SO didn't leave, so he left?????


When does a 15 year old child get to call the shots?


The rest I couldn't sort out... it's all one huge run-on sentence and too many details are missing.


 

offrdngal
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Same here

Quoting Hottmomma607: I was confused by it,myself!
This is why this world is partly crazy,kids are treated as adults and adults are treated like kids.


Quoting Fayanne:

 uhm..


Can you split that up into sentences and explain a little further?


Your 15 year old daughter threatened to go to her father's if your SO didn't leave, so he left?????


When does a 15 year old child get to call the shots?


The rest I couldn't sort out... it's all one huge run-on sentence and too many details are missing.


 

ame4c
by Bronze Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 10:23 PM
Need more info
PinkGlitterBomb
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:29 PM
Huh?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MikeysMom22
by Member on Jan. 6, 2015 at 11:46 PM
1 mom liked this

So your kid doesn't like this guy, and your parents don't like this guy? Does anyone else besides you like this guy? Maybe not live together until he sorts out and resolves at least his previous major  issues. Then maybe try it again later.You have a younger child with this guy? Hope he is helping with funding for that child at least. Good luck, sounds like a messy situation. 

earthangel1967
by on Jan. 7, 2015 at 12:19 AM

I agree with this... this was my biggest red flag and concern when I read the post... it sounds like the teen may have some very good solid reasons not to like this guy or want to be around him. It sounds like the OP's parents feel that way too and who knows, who else.  If your teen has valid reasons to not want to be around him then you should be protecting those kids and making sure they are in a healthy and safe environment first and foremost.  If he or you as a couple need counseling or any other professional help, perhaps you could work on that while living apart and only live together if a professional says she feels he has progressed to a healthy and safe point that as a professional, he or she feels is ok to be together.. sometimes we love people but they are toxic for us and for others we love and we are better off away from them. 

My kids LOVED their bio dad but despite that when the 2 oldest came to me and said even though they loive him , if I didnt leave him they would be forced to run away and I told them if we left we may end up in a homeless shelter and they said they didn't  care it would be better than living with him and they would be a team with me and we'd be better off.. I was terrified but I packed us up that very hour and never looked back and up until then I thought my kids would hate me if I left their dad. 

I don't know the whole situaton with your significant other or what the exact issues are, but just from the little bit you hinted at, it does NOT sound good. 

Quoting MikeysMom22:

So your kid doesn't like this guy, and your parents don't like this guy? Does anyone else besides you like this guy? Maybe not live together until he sorts out and resolves at least his previous major  issues. Then maybe try it again later.You have a younger child with this guy? Hope he is helping with funding for that child at least. Good luck, sounds like a messy situation. 


View Full Size Image YVONNE

earthangel1967
by on Jan. 7, 2015 at 12:22 AM

PS. It also sounds like there are some things you need to work on in nurturing a healthier and happier and closer relationship with your daughter as well.... there is an additional wonderful Cafemom group that may be helpful with that too at: 

View Full Size Image YVONNE

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