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The marriage secret no one wants to admit

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:07 PM
  • 47 Replies
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I read an article this morning about how fighting is normal in a marriage, but that no one ever talks about it, and that first one can be a shock for some newlyweds.

The article was ok (you can read it for yourself here), but it was kind of weird to me that it suggested there are people out there who believe they'll never ever fight. I mean, my DH and I rarely ever fight, and when we do, it's hardly a big deal, but we went into this relationship and marriage knowing we were going to be at odds sometimes. We're human, and that's what humans do. They disagree.

So I just don't get how it's a SECRET, you know? Am I alone in thinking like this?

Were any of you surprised when you fought with your SO for the first time?


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by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
happywifey08
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:19 PM
4 years in and no fighting yet. Minor disagreements yes, fighting no.
happywifey08
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:23 PM
I should of added this. We may very well have a fight brewing. I recently had miscarriage and he expects me to go to his bosses baby shower in a couple weeks. So we will see how that plays out.
UCFknight
by Brenda on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I blame Disney and their happy ever after!! Lol, but in all seriousness, we knew we would argue, and have disagreements. No couple is perfect, you can't agree on everything all the time.

We do not fight often either, but I really enjoy the tough discussions, and how we are easily able to navigate through them now. We both learned humility early on together, and are quickly say sorry, and move forward.

Ayasmama
by Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:54 PM

Oh we have rip roaring arguements at times. But we are still here to talk about it :)

squeekers
by on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:57 PM
25 years and only one major fight because of a miscommunication.
juniors.mommy
by Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 5:59 PM
1 mom liked this
No
We knew we would have our arguments and weve had a couple but we talked it through and that was that. We promised each other in the begining we would never go to bed mad each other.
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 6:05 PM
3 moms liked this

 I know that 'disagreements' are a natural part of being in relationships.

And, I expect them with SO.

however, what does surprise me is when we have just a discussion or conversation about something and he says "well, I don't want to fight about it..", to which I reply "we're fighting? I wouldn't call this fighting.. we're just talking something out"....

so.. his perception of 'fighting' is different than mine. that's what surprises me

Velvetfog
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 6:43 PM
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I think people have different ideas of where the line is drawn between a disagreement or a fight and what level of escalation they feel is ok for that situation in a relationship.

Our first fight wasn't shocking. In a way it was a little bit of a relief, afterward, for me because from then on I knew our style was compatible.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Feb. 27, 2015 at 9:40 PM
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It's no secret that everyone has disagreements. What differ from home to home is each couple.
Mommabearbergh
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2015 at 10:07 PM
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What is a disagreement to one person is a fight to another. We do both but we are still going with lots of ups and downs. No marriage is perfect
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