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money issues.

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:49 PM
  • 29 Replies
My husband can not save money to save his life. I've tired to take his card give him an "allowance" he buys a pack of cigarettes every day. He doesn't seem to understand that those 5 dollars are adding up. I now have 1 (one) dollar in the account. He sees no problem with that. I can't buy myself a pair of jeans because there's no money to. He blew though our savings. He buys stupid things like clocks, watches, beer,lighters goes out to eat. Stupid things.
He blew our 6,000 dollar tax return. He's irresponsible.
I've been nice I've been mean nothing works.

I'm considering leaving him because of this.
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AngelLovingLife
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:52 PM
I would leave. He clearly is far too immature and irresponsible to handle an adult relationship if he doesn't understand your position. I wouldn't stay with someone like that. Good luck.
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M4LG5
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 3:54 PM

 $6,000?  What did he buy with it?

Do you share an account or separate?  My husband and I have both.  We have our personal account, we each pay bills and then the rest of mine go to the joint checking.  He pays bills and then the rest of his go to the savings.  We each keep $300 for ourselves that we can buy whatever we want with it.

In your case, I would not give him access to any accounts except his own which is his monthly allowance.  He blows through that....tough! 

I suggest a financial counselor to put things in perspective for him.  That's just crazy to blow $6,000.

cali_angel_girl
by Amy :) on Apr. 10, 2015 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this

That's crazy he blew that much money.  That's a tough situation but my best advice is if you love him do what other ladies suggested and look into financial counseling because maybe an outsiders perspective will help him see that his spending habits are not ok.  And if he's not willing to do that then I would think about leaving.

UCFknight
by Brenda on Apr. 10, 2015 at 4:14 PM

That's awful. My husband was a spender as well. Dave Ramsey ended up saving our marriage, and from getting into more debt. If he isn't listening, and you feel you have exhausted all measures to get him onboard with saving, then maybe leaving is a good option. 

He is sinking himself and taking you with him.

chelseakeel38
by Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 4:21 PM
I paid bills with that so I guess it was really... 3900 he blew. He bought a car (sold one for 500) then I don't even know.... my goal was to pay off bills and save at least 1000 for car emergency our son whatever. Nope. Its a joint back account the our direct ddeposits go into. When we get paid it I pay all the bills. Before the bills are paid 5 dollars and some cents comes out without missing a beat. I think it's bullshit I can buy self new jeans.

Quoting M4LG5:

 $6,000?  What did he buy with it?


Do you share an account or separate?  My husband and I have both.  We have our personal account, we each pay bills and then the rest of mine go to the joint checking.  He pays bills and then the rest of his go to the savings.  We each keep $300 for ourselves that we can buy whatever we want with it.


In your case, I would not give him access to any accounts except his own which is his monthly allowance.  He blows through that....tough! 


I suggest a financial counselor to put things in perspective for him.  That's just crazy to blow $6,000.

chelseakeel38
by Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 4:21 PM
Dave Ramsey?

Quoting UCFknight:

That's awful. My husband was a spender as well. Dave Ramsey ended up saving our marriage, and from getting into more debt. If he isn't listening, and you feel you have exhausted all measures to get him onboard with saving, then maybe leaving is a good option. 

He is sinking himself and taking you with him.

sara-marie
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 4:30 PM
i just took my husband credit card and bank card away yesterday and he handed over all money related problumes to me i never thought of giveing him an allowance aswome ideal! im gona be doing that from now on! ty for the share and my advice is to write how all expences and every dollar spent and show him how much money he really is wasting! i showed my husband how much money is being wasted and he just said ok and gave me the job of takeing care of all money maybe just ask him to give you being in charge a try?
UCFknight
by Brenda on Apr. 10, 2015 at 4:36 PM

Dave Ramsey has a baby step program to follow to getting out debt, and turning your life around fiscally. You can find his material at the library for free. He wrote total money makeover, which is what got my spouse on the bandwagon to changing our financial woes. He Has simple baby steps he wants you to follow. He has materials on his website as well, most for free. 

he now offers a 9 week program, called financial peace university. You can Google and find classes in your areal they are mostly done at churches, but we took iurs at a community center. It's extremely helpful as you and your classmates are in the same boat. But it does cost $$. Many churches will give it to families for free through scholarship programs. 

Quoting chelseakeel38: Dave Ramsey?
Quoting UCFknight:

That's awful. My husband was a spender as well. Dave Ramsey ended up saving our marriage, and from getting into more debt. If he isn't listening, and you feel you have exhausted all measures to get him onboard with saving, then maybe leaving is a good option. 

He is sinking himself and taking you with him.


Beachdeprived
by on Apr. 10, 2015 at 4:47 PM

Well, I couldn't stick around for that because unfortunately you know what your future is going to be like....you'll never have savings or money to spend on things YOU want. My DH has never been awful but he likes to take out cash and I could never balance the budget or pay bills if he was hitting the ATM...course that was back in the early days, 20 years ago, when we were strapped for $. BUT...what we did is opened up 2 individuals accounts. My check goes into my account and his check into his. You can either split up the bills...you pay half, he pays half (course may depend on who makes more)...or pay all the bills from your account BUT transfer over a specified amount out of each of his checks. make sure he agrees to the amount.  Don't take on all the burden...make sure you are saving enough to spend a little cash on yourself, I would start with putting it all on paper and then seeing how you can divvy things up.  I am very anal amount $$ and about paying on time and paying maximum amounts. I could never turn everything over to DH...I need and want that control. :)

chelseakeel38
by Member on Apr. 10, 2015 at 5:00 PM
He flips out saying I'm treating him like a kid. He doesn't seem to understand why I do it.so I gave up fighting with him.

Quoting Beachdeprived:

Well, I couldn't stick around for that because unfortunately you know what your future is going to be like....you'll never have savings or money to spend on things YOU want. My DH has never been awful but he likes to take out cash and I could never balance the budget or pay bills if he was hitting the ATM...course that was back in the early days, 20 years ago, when we were strapped for $. BUT...what we did is opened up 2 individuals accounts. My check goes into my account and his check into his. You can either split up the bills...you pay half, he pays half (course may depend on who makes more)...or pay all the bills from your account BUT transfer over a specified amount out of each of his checks. make sure he agrees to the amount.  Don't take on all the burden...make sure you are saving enough to spend a little cash on yourself, I would start with putting it all on paper and then seeing how you can divvy things up.  I am very anal amount $$ and about paying on time and paying maximum amounts. I could never turn everything over to DH...I need and want that control. :)

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