Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how does this work

Posted by on May. 7, 2015 at 3:10 PM
  • 28 Replies
So me and my husband have had some issues lately. And we have agreed we need to start dating as we've never dated. We just jumped into being parents.

He is sleeping on the couch while we figure this out, we are also in counseling.

But like I've never really dated anyone and never been on a date. So are we alled to kiss and etc? I know such a silly question.
by on May. 7, 2015 at 3:10 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
amberNewman0213
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:14 PM
Me and my ex husband tried to do something like this. It didn't work for us but Idk. We was really immature and shouldn't of ever married anyways.

A better solution would maybe instead of dating why not try to just promise extra time to yourselves together alone.

With my ex the issue with trying to date was we was trying to just forget and bury a lot of issues we had and try to start over but that's a lot easier said than done. Since we didn't face our problems and ignored them it just never worked.

But if your going to consuling that's a good start! And of course u can kiss it's your husband! Lol
BonitaM
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:17 PM
Personally I wouldn't stop doing things like sleeping together, kissing, cuddling, etc. I would however set time aside to discuss the issues and make date nights a priority. I wouldn't discuss the issues on the date though; just enjoy each other and get to know each other better and have fun.
Suckit90
by Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:21 PM
We are facing our problems head on.

Quoting amberNewman0213: Me and my ex husband tried to do something like this. It didn't work for us but Idk. We was really immature and shouldn't of ever married anyways.

A better solution would maybe instead of dating why not try to just promise extra time to yourselves together alone.

With my ex the issue with trying to date was we was trying to just forget and bury a lot of issues we had and try to start over but that's a lot easier said than done. Since we didn't face our problems and ignored them it just never worked.

But if your going to consuling that's a good start! And of course u can kiss it's your husband! Lol
Suckit90
by Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:23 PM
Well the issue is he broke my trust and right now I don't want to even live with him.

Quoting BonitaM: Personally I wouldn't stop doing things like sleeping together, kissing, cuddling, etc. I would however set time aside to discuss the issues and make date nights a priority. I wouldn't discuss the issues on the date though; just enjoy each other and get to know each other better and have fun.
jamamama00
by on May. 7, 2015 at 3:25 PM
Shouldn't you be asking the counselor about this? I don't see how cutting back on affection and communication would improve anything.
LisaMarie27
by Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:28 PM
1 mom liked this
You're married. You're aloud to kiss, and should. You're also aloud to sleep in the same bed and have sex, and should. You have to continue working on your marriage. You have to keep learning each other as you are often changing. You definitely need time together alone without kids. That was the hardest thing for me after our son was born, I had separation anxiety and wouldn't let anyone keep him. Years went by and our marriage severely suffered. Now we are at a place where we make time for alone time. We take small little trips and go out to eat or relax in the hot tub. But we make time for each other. Our marriage has tremendously grown into something beautiful 💜
connie45
by Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:29 PM

Is it his porn addiction again?

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:31 PM
I'm sorry. :( I hope the counseling helps. When DH cheated on me we separated for a year. Not because I had intentions of coming back but because I didn't want to deal with a divorce. In the end he worked really hard to win me back and I'm glad he did. We are very happy now. I hope your DH realizes how badly he messed up and works hard to get your trust back and keeps it.

Quoting Suckit90: Well the issue is he broke my trust and right now I don't want to even live with him.

Quoting BonitaM: Personally I wouldn't stop doing things like sleeping together, kissing, cuddling, etc. I would however set time aside to discuss the issues and make date nights a priority. I wouldn't discuss the issues on the date though; just enjoy each other and get to know each other better and have fun.
Suckit90
by Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:42 PM
So do I. The issue is trying to find a counselor who isn't going to blame one or the other. We want a counselor who is neutral and going to listen to both sides. I'm also going to get myself counseling. He also knows that he is going to have to step up to the plate and help a lot more around here since I'll be working the evening shift.

He does seem to realise how bad he screwed up.

Quoting BonitaM: I'm sorry. :( I hope the counseling helps. When DH cheated on me we separated for a year. Not because I had intentions of coming back but because I didn't want to deal with a divorce. In the end he worked really hard to win me back and I'm glad he did. We are very happy now. I hope your DH realizes how badly he messed up and works hard to get your trust back and keeps it.

Quoting Suckit90: Well the issue is he broke my trust and right now I don't want to even live with him.

Quoting BonitaM: Personally I wouldn't stop doing things like sleeping together, kissing, cuddling, etc. I would however set time aside to discuss the issues and make date nights a priority. I wouldn't discuss the issues on the date though; just enjoy each other and get to know each other better and have fun.
Suckit90
by Member on May. 7, 2015 at 3:44 PM
That's the issue. We never got to date. We just went straight into being parents as I already had my oldest. And then we broke up. Got back together 3 years later, and then he moved into my house almost right away, and 9 months later we were married. Then a year and a half after that we were pregnant with the twins.

So no time for us to date or anything like that. Thankfully my mother has agreed to once a week to come take the girls to the park for 2 hours, and then one weekend a month will take the girls from Friday/Saturday and work out way up to Fri-Sun.

Quoting LisaMarie27: You're married. You're aloud to kiss, and should. You're also aloud to sleep in the same bed and have sex, and should. You have to continue working on your marriage. You have to keep learning each other as you are often changing. You definitely need time together alone without kids. That was the hardest thing for me after our son was born, I had separation anxiety and wouldn't let anyone keep him. Years went by and our marriage severely suffered. Now we are at a place where we make time for alone time. We take small little trips and go out to eat or relax in the hot tub. But we make time for each other. Our marriage has tremendously grown into something beautiful 💜
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)