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Five Love Languages. Lets talk...

Posted by on May. 17, 2015 at 10:12 AM
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this

I didn't want to hi-jack the other post about what love means... so Lets talk about the book...

We studied it years ago in Sunday school because our pastor was having marriage issues... We also studied personality traits.

I learned that, My husband is a "words of Affirmation" kind of guy and also his personality trait is "Melancholy" (mostly)

My language is "act of service and Quality Time" and my personality is "choleric" (mostly)..

Talk about complete opposites... We have been married 29 years and it has not always been easy..... I think my stubbornness is a big factor in the longevity of our marriage.

I find it difficult to "speak his language" when it is not my own...

So how did you over come this or did you discover that you liked his language?? 

I'm a difficult person because I "roll my eyes" and find it very hard to bend... Good thing my husband finds that attractive..haha... 

     



by on May. 17, 2015 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on May. 17, 2015 at 4:42 PM

 I have not read the book, but have taken the online quiz. 

The differences we struggle with are more along the lines of love and respect.

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on May. 17, 2015 at 5:04 PM

I have not read the book but don't believe that I have just one love language.  I've heard a lot about it from this group.  I do know that DH appreciates when I do something for him more than other things.  I on the other hand need his time, his attention, words of affirmation, gifts, things done for me, etc.  If one of these things is missing for a period of time I talk to him about it.  I think it's important to make each other a priority and keep showing love in various ways not just one or two. 

UCFknight
by Brenda on May. 17, 2015 at 5:35 PM

I am a words of affirmation kind of girl. My husband does a wonderful job at giving me reminders of his love for me. He is an acts of service and quality time person. He doesn't want to spend a whole day gazing into each other's eyes, but when we do get time alone, he wants no interruptions (all technology is usually off, per his request). With his work, he is gone a lot, so it's huge that I give him my undivided attention when he needs it.

We read the five love languages back in 2003. sometimes we both need references to it now and again. what is neat is my parents read our book while we were going through premarital counseling. They both discovered they were words of affirmation, which is probably why they have had an easy time giving/receiving love to each other. They celebrate their 35th wedding anniversary this December ;) 

justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2015 at 6:12 PM
I got physical touch. Followed closely by acts of svc then words of affirmation.

I knew that. I always have been that way. It is always hold me hug me. It let's me know he's paying attention.

That's pretty accurate
LadyBast
by Brenda on May. 17, 2015 at 6:15 PM

TFS

justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2015 at 6:26 PM
My husband got

Words of affirmation

Acts of svc

Physical touch

Then the other two
GE1
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2015 at 9:13 PM

I got quality time followed by Physical touch. Dh is a lot like me however Acts of Service would be hire up for him than it is for me

kika.fleur
by Silver Member on May. 18, 2015 at 12:08 AM

I haven't read the book. But we're both very physical and we tell each other words of affirmation a lot. I am also very nurturing, which is something that he appreciates a lot. He's a romantic, which I love but am not used to!

Yes, we do have things that irritate each other. I can be choleric, or sound like it. I'm impatient. I'm used to organizing things for everyone. He was a confirmed bachelor, used to doing things his way. I drive him crazy with all my gadgets, and he drives me crazy when he goes into detail about something that I really don't want or need to know.

Through all this, though, we find ways to show each other our love. We talk a lot, and we talk things over a lot. I'm learning to include him when I am planning something, instead of presenting him with a fixed plan. He's learned that spoiling me in little ways - bringing me my tea in the morning, letting me sleep in for example - goes a long way with me.

MomToovey
by Marianne on May. 18, 2015 at 12:50 PM

It was easy for us, because my language and his are close. I'm technically Physical Touch and he's technically Acts of Service, but I scored high in Acts of Service and he scored high in Physical Touch, so we understand each other's primary language pretty well already. But I liked the suggestions the book gives for what to do for the various languages. Whenever I get bored doing the same thing over and over, or am looking for a new idea for something special, etc. I reference the book for ideas (and ask in here!). I don't think he does, but it's pretty easy to rub my arm as he walks by or something else like that. And I found that the more I did to show my love in his language, the easier it was for me to do it on my own.

Fairegirl33
by Bronze Member on May. 18, 2015 at 12:57 PM

 my husband and i are going to counseling and this is something we discussed last week.

 i am WA/PT/QT and he is PT/QT.   we found this to be very true and helpful for us.

 one thing that the counselor said about words of affirmation types... is that everything said after BUT is all we hear.  So, if DH says... dinner was great BUT it needed a little salt.    He needs to say, dinner was great and WoW I love it when you make that chicken parm.  That way I get the compliment and for sure I'm going to make what he loves next time.  win win for both.

 

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