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Husband changed after our daughter was born

Posted by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 2:28 PM
  • 19 Replies
Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced negative changes in their husbands after they gave birth.

I had my daughter on October 7th. A month before that husband's brother, wife and three kids came to stay with us from overseas. They are still here saving up for their own place. This has placed a huge tension in the house, we only have a one bedroom apt.

In the months before I went into labor smy husband and I became very close. We've been together 2 years and have had our issues (he has anger issues) but I have always felt secure. When i went into labor he was working out of state but called and texted every minute. he told me no matter how far he is he is still with me and i always felt that.

Afrer delivering my daughter and being discharged from the hospital I was readmitted with preclampsia. Thats when it all started. Instead of being worried and saying I hope you will be ok he came to thr hospital saying that i need to get home and take care of the baby because he needs to work and pay the bills and everyone will throw in his face thathis sister in law was looking after the baby while I was sick. I got no compassion or care from him. When I got home he was little better but I still felt the distance between us.

Finally last night we had a huge argument. He called me names and told me I've contributed nothing in the past two years. I reminded him that he didn't want mento work since the beginning and now he wants help with bills knowing I have nothing to give. This morning he said he wants ti separate. I just feel so betrayed after all we've been through together and I'm here most of the time driving his family around. He chose now after having a baby to do this?

Has anyone else experienced such negative changes in their husbands after having children?
by on Oct. 26, 2015 at 2:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pippi311
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:29 PM
3 moms liked this

why in the world would you allow three other people to come live with you when you only have a one bedroom apartment AND you have a new baby????

And if all you could afford was a one bedroom apartment, why did you settle on you not working a job?

sorry I don't have advice, just questions. 

Kaelee1
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:45 PM

Wow, he is being very unsupportive at a very difficult time.  You deserve more from him.  You need to get the extra people out now and see if he will go to counseling.  Did you ask him what has changed?

DJsmama34
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:55 PM

i would just take the baby and leave, he obviously dont want to be a father or have a family

petitekatie
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 3:58 PM
Wow. That is very hard. I don't know what I would do in that situation.
LadyBast
by Brenda on Oct. 26, 2015 at 4:15 PM

Wow a hard one but many questions, he is mad because you do not work yet you take care of the baby and you also have others living with you in a one bedroom appartment?? This is bad after just having a new baby. Good luck if you have family close leave!

cizi1978
by New Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 4:20 PM
They were expected to stay only 2 weeks. He always complains about them being here but if I complain he defends them. He always made enough to maintain us, even with the baby he was saving for a house but a lot was spent once his family came. I guess now he feels like he can't handle the financial responsibility. But, he is the one who insisted on taking that responsibility. What bothers me now is the total disrespect in how he speaks to me all of a sudden.

Quoting pippi311:

why in the world would you allow three other people to come live with you when you only have a one bedroom apartment AND you have a new baby????

And if all you could afford was a one bedroom apartment, why did you settle on you not working a job?

sorry I don't have advice, just questions. 

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Oct. 26, 2015 at 4:42 PM

I would be telling him off. He has no reason to treat you like that when it was his idea to have his family come live with you. If he is stressed about the financial side, tell him to have his family chip in. 


nickyjsmomma219
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 4:47 PM
You two need to talk. One of the biggest problems in marriages is lack of communication and trying to figure out what the person is thinking without just asking them. Also you need to five his family a deadline to get out
ame4c
by Bronze Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 6:20 PM
If he won't do counseling, leave now before it gets worse. Staying only enables the behavior.
Devon143
by Member on Oct. 26, 2015 at 10:22 PM
I'm sorry. This makes me sad. I would leave, I would not want to stay where I wasn't wanted or loved. I hope you figure it out.
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