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I can't keep going

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2015 at 3:36 AM
  • 11 Replies
We are up to our eyeballs behind on bills , rent, car note . We both work, but living beyond our means . My husband refuse to down size on anything.We don't have the late fees as promised for rent tomorrow and I don't know what to do anymore. Iam depressed and lost
by on Nov. 16, 2015 at 3:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kit279
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 3:53 AM

is your name on any of the bills? If so I'd call and down size as much as,I can. Do you pay for utilities or is it included in rent? If you pay your own, you can look up ways to cut back. Like with electricity, unplugging electronics when not in use and turning the lights off during the day and when your not in the room can help. Tell your husband that you can't keep up, don't ask to cut back, tell him you are and that it is necessary.

babies1st
by Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 5:08 AM
Some utilities are in my name some his ,the rent is high , the car note is high , my car is paid off , iam behind in payments for our son braces. I just know what to do , those things I need done I cant cut back by myself. I don't know what to tell the landlord tomorrow, iam so lost. Iam definitely going to cut and unplug electricity

Quoting kit279:

is your name on any of the bills? If so I'd call and down size as much as,I can. Do you pay for utilities or is it included in rent? If you pay your own, you can look up ways to cut back. Like with electricity, unplugging electronics when not in use and turning the lights off during the day and when your not in the room can help. Tell your husband that you can't keep up, don't ask to cut back, tell him you are and that it is necessary.

kit279
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 5:16 AM

definitely cut where you can. Cell phones, land lines, tv, electricity. Credit cards. Did you know that most electric companies have "off hours" where the rates are lower. Look to see if yours does and do dishes and laundry and vacuming, etc during those times. Pinterest has some great suggestions on how to cut utility bills and how to pay down credit cards etc. It takes a bit but you need to be firm.

Quoting babies1st: Some utilities are in my name some his ,the rent is high , the car note is high , my car is paid off , iam behind in payments for our son braces. I just know what to do , those things I need done I cant cut back by myself. I don't know what to tell the landlord tomorrow, iam so lost. Iam definitely going to cut and unplug electricity
Quoting kit279:

is your name on any of the bills? If so I'd call and down size as much as,I can. Do you pay for utilities or is it included in rent? If you pay your own, you can look up ways to cut back. Like with electricity, unplugging electronics when not in use and turning the lights off during the day and when your not in the room can help. Tell your husband that you can't keep up, don't ask to cut back, tell him you are and that it is necessary.


Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 5:38 AM

Living beyond your means likely means he either doesn't know how bad things are financially, or he's using 'things' to make up for "not good enough" doubts and insecurities. Does he feel the need to shower you with gifts? or is he buying things for himself so he can show off to others? Who pays the bills in the household? Why does he refuse to down size? Does he know the full extent of the financial situation?

If your situation is as drastic as it sounds, you're going to have to put your foot down. Some men don't get it until you hit them in the head with a 2 x 4 of reality. Take credit cards from him and cut them up. Put your foot down and tell him you can't handle the stress any more. Head to counseling, and find a financial counselor as well.

good luck.


babies1st
by Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 5:43 AM
No gifts , cable bill ridiculously high , borrowing money from cash loan places , unforseen tragedy, adjusting to having a new baby. He always makes excuses for things he want but we can't afford

Quoting Fayanne:

Living beyond your means likely means he either doesn't know how bad things are financially, or he's using 'things' to make up for "not good enough" doubts and insecurities. Does he feel the need to shower you with gifts? or is he buying things for himself so he can show off to others? Who pays the bills in the household? Why does he refuse to down size? Does he know the full extent of the financial situation?

If your situation is as drastic as it sounds, you're going to have to put your foot down. Some men don't get it until you hit them in the head with a 2 x 4 of reality. Take credit cards from him and cut them up. Put your foot down and tell him you can't handle the stress any more. Head to counseling, and find a financial counselor as well.

good luck.

babies1st
by Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 5:44 AM
We Don't Have Any Cc , thanks
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Nov. 16, 2015 at 6:37 AM
1 mom liked this

Sooo. call the cable company and adjust it to the most basic plan or cancel it and use netflix/hulu

Tell him it's time to grow up and act like a man and not a kid on Christmas thinking he can do whatever he pleases because he works. 


Unless he wants to be homeless and that's cool with him.. 

DJsmama34
by Member on Nov. 16, 2015 at 2:14 PM

i would flat tell him he needs to down size or u guys are about to lose everything

earthangel1967
by on Nov. 16, 2015 at 2:22 PM

I'm sorry, that must be terribly frustrating! HUGS. 

KIT279, TOMMYABBY and FAYANNE all gave great advice,  in my opinion and I hope some of it helps with him. 

Another thing that MIGHT be helpful, especially if he doesn't realize just how much HE is overspending on wants while needs go unmet, for example... is a FREE app that has high reviews.  It's called MINT and it's easy and not work to keep it up, as he or you spend money from your accts or such, it AUTOMATICALLY charts and shows how much is going where and even graphs it visually for you so it's in your face, clear. Maybe that would help him realize and be more aware. 

Here is the link about it for iOS on Itunes 

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/mint-money-manager-budget/id300238550?mt=8

Here is the one to Google for Android: 

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.mint&hl=en

View Full Size ImageYVONNE

sarahjz
by Sarah on Nov. 17, 2015 at 10:22 AM

Sounds very frustrating.  Have you had an honest talk with your husband regarding your feelings?

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