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You ruin dinner every night!

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:38 PM
  • 55 Replies

Okay, so maybe not every night, but more often than not, my DH spends most of the meal barking at our kids (9 and 2) to eat.  They are not great eaters, that's true, but his reaction doesn't help.  Even if I am in the middle of a conversation with him, he will interrupt to tell one of them to eat their food.  I agree they need to be better eaters, but it is a fight every damn night and puts everyone in a bad mood.  How do ya'll deal with kids not eating? 

by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:44 PM

Some days kids eat a lot and other days they don't.  Barking won't help. Listen to them a bit and calmly ask for one more bite before they say they are done. 


solen
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:49 PM
2 moms liked this

That so wouldn't fly with me.  Meal time is not the time to argue.  Also, I don't believe in pushing or withholding food.  He will make your kids anxious, which will not help their digestion either.  Just a big NO.

In our house, if my son doesn't eat, he doesn't eat.  If it is something new to him and he tried it, I have an alternative for him.  I usually make sure there is something he likes.  I just will not fight over food or meal time.  I work to include my son in meal prep as well.  

It is actually considered bad manners to comment on what others are or are not eating at the table.  Just sayin.

sorry you have to deal with this, it would be hard for me to cope with that as I have such a different philosophy.  Would your husband be open to talking about it at another time, away from the kids?  Does he even realize he is doing it?  Maybe it is the way it was in his home ?

Anonymous052386
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:50 PM

This is kind of my way of dealing with it; I just tell them, they aren't getting anything after dinner unless they finish it.  So if they don't eat, they are going to go hungry for the evening.  I don't turn it into a fight.  He has to keep pushing it.  

Quoting TommyAbby:

Some days kids eat a lot and other days they don't.  Barking won't help. Listen to them a bit and calmly ask for one more bite before they say they are done. 


Anonymous052386
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:52 PM

His parents were ridiculously strict, so I have to reign in him quite often when it comes to discipline.  I did ask him after they had left the table if we need to do this every night.  He said maybe we should find another way to deal with them not eating.  So I thought I'd ask some other moms.  

Quoting solen:

That so wouldn't fly with me.  Meal time is not the time to argue.  Also, I don't believe in pushing or withholding food.  He will make your kids anxious, which will not help their digestion either.  Just a big NO.

In our house, if my son doesn't eat, he doesn't eat.  If it is something new to him and he tried it, I have an alternative for him.  I usually make sure there is something he likes.  I just will not fight over food or meal time.  I work to include my son in meal prep as well.  

It is actually considered bad manners to comment on what others are or are not eating at the table.  Just sayin.

sorry you have to deal with this, it would be hard for me to cope with that as I have such a different philosophy.  Would your husband be open to talking about it at another time, away from the kids?  Does he even realize he is doing it?  Maybe it is the way it was in his home ?


TommyAbby
by Melissa on Oct. 27, 2016 at 8:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell him to either shut the heck up and leave the kids alone or just eat elsewhere. That's not parenting, that's bullying the kids. 

Quoting Anonymous052386:

This is kind of my way of dealing with it; I just tell them, they aren't getting anything after dinner unless they finish it.  So if they don't eat, they are going to go hungry for the evening.  I don't turn it into a fight.  He has to keep pushing it.  

Quoting TommyAbby:

Some days kids eat a lot and other days they don't.  Barking won't help. Listen to them a bit and calmly ask for one more bite before they say they are done. 



nussknacker
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 9:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I never made my kids eat food they did not want, or like. My husband, on the other hand used to be just like my dad, and expected the plates to be clean. Heck, if the kids dont want anymore, why force them to finish their plate? That is not healthy. Anyway, me and my brothers learned to "hide" the food , flush it down the toilet, whatever it took so we could put a clean plate in the sink to satisfy our dad. Not much of a lesson , there.

solen
by on Oct. 27, 2016 at 9:48 PM

That is good that he is open to another way!  And his strict upbringing explains the "why" of his way of dealing with them.  Gentle encouragement works well, including them in the planning and prep of meals is another way.  That he said that maybe you should find another way tells me he just doesn't know how....he is just dealing in a way he learned as a child.  Ask him how things like that made him feel when he was a kid.  Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous052386:

His parents were ridiculously strict, so I have to reign in him quite often when it comes to discipline.  I did ask him after they had left the table if we need to do this every night.  He said maybe we should find another way to deal with them not eating.  So I thought I'd ask some other moms.  

Quoting solen:

That so wouldn't fly with me.  Meal time is not the time to argue.  Also, I don't believe in pushing or withholding food.  He will make your kids anxious, which will not help their digestion either.  Just a big NO.

In our house, if my son doesn't eat, he doesn't eat.  If it is something new to him and he tried it, I have an alternative for him.  I usually make sure there is something he likes.  I just will not fight over food or meal time.  I work to include my son in meal prep as well.  

It is actually considered bad manners to comment on what others are or are not eating at the table.  Just sayin.

sorry you have to deal with this, it would be hard for me to cope with that as I have such a different philosophy.  Would your husband be open to talking about it at another time, away from the kids?  Does he even realize he is doing it?  Maybe it is the way it was in his home ?



Anonymous052386
by Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:05 PM
So how did you two compromise?

Quoting nussknacker:

I never made my kids eat food they did not want, or like. My husband, on the other hand used to be just like my dad, and expected the plates to be clean. Heck, if the kids dont want anymore, why force them to finish their plate? That is not healthy. Anyway, me and my brothers learned to "hide" the food , flush it down the toilet, whatever it took so we could put a clean plate in the sink to satisfy our dad. Not much of a lesson , there.

anotherandree
by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:32 PM

I can sympathize with both of you.  My kids only eat "basic" foods like spaghetti, hamburgers, and things like that.  Not unhealthy but nothing with taste or flair.  My husband loves to cook and tries new recipes everynight.  Nothing strange but variations of basic foods or normal things put together in a new way.  My kids pick at their food until we get tired of telling them to eat.  We throw away SO MUCH FOOD it breaks my heart.  And that is the biggest thing for me.  I often wonder if we should just throw the cash directly in the trash can.  If they paid for their own food, I wouldn't care.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Oct. 27, 2016 at 11:43 PM
At 9yo your oldest should be opening up and eating more. The 2yo is going to be hard to get for awhile. I had very picky eaters, it was a process. LOL
My pickest eater in the house is now 14yo and eats Quinoa, veggies, baked chicken.
Do you try to have days were you allow them to pick something hey want to eat? If they choose kid friendly like hot dogs, etc. Tell them they have to have apple slices or carrots on the side too. Just try different things. Talk to your husband before dinner and two come up with a solution.


Quoting Anonymous052386:

Okay, so maybe not every night, but more often than not, my DH spends most of the meal barking at our kids (9 and 2) to eat.  They are not great eaters, that's true, but his reaction doesn't help.  Even if I am in the middle of a conversation with him, he will interrupt to tell one of them to eat their food.  I agree they need to be better eaters, but it is a fight every damn night and puts everyone in a bad mood.  How do ya'll deal with kids not eating? 

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