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5 Musts For A Great Match

Posted by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 1:47 AM
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1 mom liked this

BY: LESLIE BECKER-PHELPS

 

Some couples look like a great match. Their conversation flows, their interactions seem smooth, and their personal styles seem to mesh – and they’re probably in sync with each other on the spectrum of attractiveness.

But despite how a couple looks on the outside, judging a good match from the inside – that is, when you are one of the partners – is a different matter. So, what makes for a great match?

You may have a list of characteristics that you would like a partner to have, but the five criteria below should be “must-haves”:

1. Enjoy each other’s company. It’s not enough that being out together beats being alone. A relationship can only be called a great match when partners truly like spending time together.

2. Feel “chemistry.” While the passion new lovers feel is exciting, having chemistry with someone can be so much more than physical attraction. Happy couples that have been together for years often feel better simply by being with their partner. Even when partners feel whole as individuals, there is a certain “chemistry” created by the connection in their relationship that creates a feeling of being lighter, happier, and more complete.

3. Respect each other. You need to be able to look your partner in the eye and think positively of them as a person… even when you disagree with, or are annoyed by, their thoughts, beliefs, or actions. Said another way, no relationship can be a great match when either partner fails to have such admiration for the other.

4. Hold similar values. Although you might love being together, successfully building a shared life requires that you are using the same blueprint. When a person who loves expensive living connects with someone who has more down-to-earth tastes, it can be difficult to find a balance that makes them both happy. Similarly, the strain may be too much when he envisions a settled family of four while she envisions a free-spirited, childless marriage spent traveling the world.

5. Have compatible styles of resolving differences. Conflicts are a part of all healthy relationships. But they become a problem when partners are so different in how they approach their problems that issues are never really resolved – leaving frustrations to continue simmering, eventually breaking down their relationship. Yellers might shut down those who prefer quiet discussions. Those who prefer to work around disagreements with little discussion can feel cornered or suffocated by those who feel they need to hash out all the details. While partners who are a great match don’t need to have the exact same style of dealing with disagreements, in the end, they both need to feel good about how they resolve their differences.

As you search for a partner, feel free to keep looking at your list of desired traits. But no matter how many or few of those traits that your partner has, it’s the above five criteria that will determine whether you’ve really found your match.


by on Feb. 15, 2017 at 1:47 AM
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Replies (1-3):
Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2017 at 5:58 AM

Thanks for posting

star wars


kika.fleur
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2017 at 8:10 PM

Yes. I totally agree. :-)

Learning to resolve differences should probably be something taught in school. It's a life skill useful at home, at play and at work. 

GE1
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2017 at 9:44 PM
Completely agree. They do say it's better the second time around and it certainly was for me
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