Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moving dilemma

Posted by on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:09 AM
  • 10 Replies
Dh has been looking for a good job for a long time now, about 2 years or more. Well, he finally found something and he has an interview next week. The thing is, it requires us to relocate out of state. My problem is my mom is really sick and I don't want to leave her. She doesn't have my dad's full support or my brother's as they are both in their own little worlds. However, this would be a great opportunity for dh and our family.
Idk what to do. I want my dh to finally be really happy and in a career he wants, but I don't want to break my mom's heart by leaving. If I tell dh not to take this opportunity I break his heart too. It's a lose-lose situation for me.
If you were in my shoes what would you do?
by on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:09 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
K3412
by Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:12 AM
While I love my mom, my immediate family's needs have to come first and my mom knows and supports that. She would want us to move, and we likely would, if that opportunity came up.
Sailor.Moon.Mom
by New Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 9:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Immediate family is your top priority now. That's what happens when we have a family of our own. Sacrifices are not easy.
Sassym0m24
by Bronze Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 2:56 PM
In your shoes your mom would've likely moved and if not she has to think of the opportunities it would provide for those a good mom would put before herself(The grandkids).

Is there a way to set up better medical care for her to ease your worry, Skype to chat with her/email with in home care sometimes?
white_wolf454
by Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this

what would you tell your daughter if you were as your mom and your daughter was in your situation 

rainiebelle
by Member on Jul. 14, 2017 at 6:08 PM
Your immediate family is your priority. How far away is the move? Can you get her set up with services to help before you move? Is your dad and her still married?
Maime13
by Member on Jul. 15, 2017 at 8:49 PM

Can you bring her along?

Maime13
by Member on Jul. 15, 2017 at 8:50 PM

This. I would never, in any way, which to hinder my children from living their best lives. 

Quoting white_wolf454:

what would you tell your daughter if you were as your mom and your daughter was in your situation 


Element5
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2017 at 9:01 AM
We too moved to another state but hubbys mom is in a state next to his brother ( well 1 hour away) she lives alone so no one to even call for help right away. As sad as it is you have to live your life. And do what's good for your family, if god forbid you can always fly out to her( that's what my hubby did).
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Jul. 16, 2017 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this

your first loyalty should be to your husband.

                   
    Life is divine chaos
Embrace it.  Forgive  yourself.   Breathe
           And enjoy the ride....   

lovingladyo4
by Member on Jul. 17, 2017 at 8:34 AM

As hard as this may sound, you belong to your husband first. Your first commitment is to him. Marriage vows state that too. It doesn't mean you can't support your mom, or love her, or care for her, and be concerned for her. You can still do all those things. But when it comes to your marriage, you made vows to be with your husband and not your family anymore. You belong to your husband. He is your covering. 

If it were me I would be torn too, yet God will honor your respect and obedience to your husband.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)