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What to do

Posted by on Aug. 8, 2017 at 5:07 AM
  • 6 Replies
Ok so my parents mom and step dad have been together for almost 35 years. My mom is sick with Hep C, Cancer (a slow progressing one) and kidney disease. She like to embellish on how sick she is frequently so it can be very hard to know how bad she really is. My Dad always believes her and because of that fears she is on her death bed. I visit and take her to do things so I get a better idea of what she can and can't do ect... I left my husband because he was a cheater and rubbed it in my face. So I am left a bit confused about what to do.
I am disappointed because I have discovered my dad is all but physically cheating on my mom. It's not an assumption.
He has had a long distance relationship with another woman. I feel he does love my mom. However, part of me understands he doesn't want to be alone, needs someone to talk to, and is preparing himself for her passing.
On the other hand it would hurt my mom deeply that he is beginning a relationship before she is gone. He is still cheating. She currently has no idea it's happening.
They fight a lot and is causing them both a lot of resentment toward each other. I feel like he had made himself angry and resentful that he can't be where he at the very least thinks he can be happy and with another. It seems like if he wasn't ready to move on already he wouldn't be so upset all the time.
Don't get me wrong they have a huge back story and he has stuck by my mom's side through some very very rough patches and has always been a great dad to me and my sister's.
I think the only reason he is still with my mom at this point is because she is sick and he isn't that kind of man.
SO the question is do I keep it to myself, talk to my dad about it, or talk to my mom about it? I love them both very much and I would want to know, but at this point in their marriage and her life I am not sure what to do.
by on Aug. 8, 2017 at 5:07 AM
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Replies (1-6):
by Silver Member on Aug. 8, 2017 at 6:43 AM

MYOB Do not get involved its their marriage .

by on Aug. 8, 2017 at 7:14 AM

You should stay out of it. Since it is between your mom &dad. But that something you have to decide

by on Aug. 8, 2017 at 2:48 PM

I'm sorry about your mom's health. What a stressful  and sad time for you all. I'd suggest, since you say he hasn't move forward to cheating in all ways, to allow their marriage to continue as their business. Your mom may even know more about this friendship than you realize. Emotional cheating is still cheating, I know. Yet, after 35 years, theirs may be a relationship that we may not fully understand after all they've been through. I think you'll know if and when you will need to say anything to anyone, including your step dad. Praying for you all. 

by Member on Aug. 8, 2017 at 8:38 PM
Personally I would talk to my dad and tell him what I know and give him a certain amount of time to tell your mom.
If he did not I would.
Just be prepared for her to move in with you.
by Platinum Member on Aug. 8, 2017 at 11:00 PM

I'd talk to dad

by New Member on Aug. 12, 2017 at 11:54 AM
Thank you for all your advice. @ simpf my mom and I talk about everything even things I would sometimes wish she kept to herself. She gets very jealous even over innocent things. If she knew she would be telling me all about it. I have a great relationship with both of them so I am thinking I will talk to my dad about it without judgement and with understanding, not to be confused with condoning it. I ultimately want to make sure my mom doesn't get hurt in the process.
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