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My husband has left me and my 3 children alone. He is living a double life and has one foot in and one foot out.its been this way for months. I pray for him to teturn but im alone doing everything by myself. I joined today because im afraid we will never see him or speak to him again. You see his car has broken down so this is the longest we have not seen him and now our cell phones are due but i have decided to not pay his share this month. It is very hard for me to know i will have no contact. But he never answered my calls anyways and paying for him to stay in contact with who? Im his wife so everyone else is who? I begged him to call tonight its his last night with the phone. My kids they miss him more than me if its possible. But nothing. I begged him to take the bus here. I would have even picked him up but i didnt offer. He would have said no he has a new life that it seems like he doesnt even want his kids a part of. They are 12 , 3 and 4. Im broken & crumbling. Im struggling to survive but i am surviving thnks only to god. I want us to work it out but he has moved on without us. A hard pill to swollow. I am here for support to get me through.
by on Nov. 10, 2017 at 1:47 AM
Replies (11-20):
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2017 at 11:08 AM

Hugs to you sweetheart, let him go, I know it hurts, but it will get better, concentrate on you and the kids, THINGS WILL GET BETTER. And if that jackass wants to come back later, make him date you, he's not trustworthy.

by New Member on Nov. 14, 2017 at 10:52 PM

I'm so glad to hear that you know God and are allowing Him to help you through this difficult time in your life.  He truly is the best way to get through our rough times and He says that He will never leave you nor forsake you.  He will also provide all your needs, so don't let those things concern you.  You can just be there for your children and love on them and continue to pray for your husband to wake up and take responsibility.  I will be praying for you.

by on Nov. 15, 2017 at 12:38 AM
Thank you so much!!!! Nhope I pray everyday for everything but for my husband to turn back to god. He helped me get saved and now he has lost his way and we are living in las vegas of all places. Yes the things that have happened are not good but there is such a bigger picture. It hard to turn my back but I pray every night for him to turn back to god for him.
by Member on Nov. 15, 2017 at 10:35 PM
What is this seemingly over simplistic based on?

Quoting Fayanne:

men don't just leave unless 1) there is some form of mental illness going on, or 2) they have another woman lined up.

men don't "just leave"

by Member on Nov. 17, 2017 at 11:48 AM

I hope you find peace in all your decisions.

But I do have to ask this as I am really confused. Where is your DH staying now? You say he is living a double life and already had his foot out the door????

If he has left you and your children and left you with all decisions. I just suggest going ahead and filing for divorce and getting child support from him. I know it is a very hard decision, believe me. I have been in your shoes as well. It was a really hard decision for me to file for divorce. My ex just up and left me and my DD with no explanation of why he left. he just packed all shit and moved and that was that. It was the hardest decision ever. Once my divorce was final. I moved me and my DD back to my home town to be near my family and the support I needed.

by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2017 at 4:40 PM
I think what you're going through is hard enough without my adding what you should feel or do.

That I also don't believe someone leaves "for no reason " you may have noticed signs/felt things were ok and that's just on your end(He felt different/had his own stuff going on).

Also he may have not discussed and so you're in shock.

Especially since he didn't leave you with closure or a concrete "this is what I feel/is going on".

I imagine it's very painful/hard to explain to kids, given the lack of communication and due to it you may feel stuck in what to do, even though, his actions say to move on.

I hope you find the resources and support to get your family through this.


by Bronze Member on Nov. 24, 2017 at 2:10 PM

I'm sorry to hear. That does suck. I been there. Even after he did move back I held a grudge for a long long time. My best advice is to get up, move on with your life and take him to court for full custody. If he actually wants anything to do with those kids, he'll fight you. If not, it's his loss and it sucks to be him. He's obviously proven that you shouldn't put your life on hold for him, so to hell with him. I know right now it's really hard since you are processing this all, but one day it wont be so hard. Hang in there.

by Member on Nov. 30, 2017 at 4:21 AM
They aren’t meaning it to be mean. You’ve got to realize his behavior doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. Move back to your family, go no contact with him and he WILL beg you back. Don’t fall for his lies. He will do this to you again and again. This is your chance to get out and get your confidence back. Don’t ever allow someone to destroy you. When he appears to see the error of his way... please remember he is playing you and will feel more and more powerful the further he breaks you. People like this not only mind hurting people they enjoy it... the power of it.

Quoting Mimi1848: I came here for support not for someone to push me off the ledge. Maybe one day I will get to where you are at but I am not there today. I thought this would help but its not.
by on Nov. 30, 2017 at 12:02 PM

I don't know for sure what is going on here but I do know that he left you 3 precious gifts, these children are such a blessing. I pray that you will be strengthened to carry the responsibilities for this family. I pray that God will supply all your needs. I pray that you will find joy and peace. I pray that you will find the place you are supposed to be where you will receive the encouragement that you need. I pray that your husband will find truth for his life and be able to regain his purpose. I pray that your children will receive all that they need to grow into the people God planned for them as He knitted them within your womb. I pray, Father God look with favor upon this precious family. They are suffering right now in many ways. But we know that You love them and have a purpose for their lives. We know that You are aware of all that is taking place. We ask for Your blessings, Your peace and Your provision. Amen

by Member on Dec. 1, 2017 at 11:30 AM

I'm so sorry you are going through this. And I think that people who have gone through something similar get super frustrated, but it's hard for them to remember that you aren't where they are now. That usually comes out as harsh words. I think they are trying to pull you through the crap that he's pulling so you can see the other side- but I know it can seem hurtful.

Anyway, I do feel that you need to focus on protecting you and your children first, and then decide what role he can play in your lives. You can make clear decisions when they come from a place of stability, not desperation. I feel like you are flailing because you just don't know what he's going to do. If you get yourself and kids stable- meaning able to take care of yourselves and not financially responsible for him, and ok with knowing he may not come back, you will feel much more calm and also be a great example for your kids and better able to help them deal with this. Once you've accomplished that, you can decide how much contact he can have with your family. 

Once you feel this sense of security and independence, you will probably realize what kind of people should be around you and your kids, but only you can decide this. Please take care of yourself. Reach out to your church for help in counseling, etc. Good luck to you. 

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