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11 years marriage, 2 kids. Trying to make everybody believe that we have a very happy family. But inside I feel "empty". Being a good wife and mom more like daily job. My husband really love me (now). But it's too late. He admired he didn't love me that much when he marry me, he's not ready, treat me like a jerk for years, told me all stories about all woman in his past, told me who his love is his life. Showed me their photos proudly, still keep all of that now.
I don't have feeling for him anymore since long ago. Even I stay in this marriage and act as good mom and wife. Am I wrong, stupid...and if I have somebody else to love is that ok?
by on Nov. 19, 2017 at 8:14 PM
Replies (11-16):
by on Nov. 21, 2017 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this

It might be worth your time to try some therapy.  Might make a happier life for your kids.

by on Nov. 22, 2017 at 7:23 PM
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Quoting Alathea.Mum: Thanks for advise. I am never stop trying to stay in this relationship. But I still feel lonely. I always pray that I can love my husband again and forget him for the pain that he made and cause me lost that feeling. He love me now, I know that. And he really love our kids, our family. I just feel stuck sometime, like I never really that happy. I am living with someone who just as partner, take care our kids. I hope I didn't die want to feel happy, loved and in love again.

  I think you have a positive attitude because you want to work on your relationship with your husband. Keep on     praying for your marriage. It is good to have friends who you can talk to on a regular basis because they can       make you feel less lonely also. Best thoughts for you and your family.     

by on Nov. 26, 2017 at 11:20 PM

I think you can create a new season in your marriage.  I appreciate that you want to pray for your marriage.  I think counseling could be great option for you.  Are you a reader, or do you listen to podcasts?  I have some great suggestions if you are open to those.  You are welcome to private message me.

by on Nov. 29, 2017 at 11:21 AM

I was recently reading some Articles that I wanted to share with you to show you that you are not alone in your stuggles.  Praying you can make your kids feel your love as you and your husband grow together while raising them.

Quoting Alathea.Mum: Thank you. And I do keep trying my best. I will stay even my goal now just for my kids happiness. They are my hope, my dreams. Talked about vow. When we married he admitted to me that he cross his finger on his back when he made the vow. He said he can't make promise just love me. Either he just to honest and I should appreciate that or he better just keep that for him self, but for sure I was hurt even from we just started. And so much more. Now I see him as partner in life...for our rise our kids. He's not my lover. We just living together. And he never know what I truly feel. Even this is not perfect situation but I always tell my self, there's much more worse situation for some couples out there.
Quoting cherishedgal:

I totally understand how hard a marriage is, I’ve been married for so many years and through those years I’ve been in love, and out of love but still keeping it together for our kids and vow to God, and now it’s more of a comfortable best friend forever type love.  There are just so many degrees of love. But the bottom line is- I would never want to not have him in my life and my kids lives, we all need him.  I never went to therapy, as such, just guidance from my minister, but my son and his wife have been to counseling and it helped them through a really tough time in their marriage.  I just decided long ago to give it to God and He would have to get me through those times when I was about to give up.  I commend you for keeping your kids best interest at heart and not just giving up.  I am praying that you can find some solace during these rough times. 

by Member on Nov. 29, 2017 at 7:31 PM

It is never too late too late for love! When you married your husband, you both vowed to commit to each other through good and bad. A vow is a sacred act! A lot of people these days break their vows like it is no big deal. In reality, breaking that vow will break more than you realize.

I came from a divorced family, I am the oldest of three girls. I was 16, my dad told me on Mothers Day " I will not be here when you get home from church this afternoon. You are in charge, I am expecting you to take care of your mother and sisters." Those words broke my heart! My dad has never been a part of my life since then. He picked my sisters and I up to take to his new place witjh his new wife. He laid down the law, then we never saw him until bedtime. Every summer was like that. Then in my twenties, I hardly ever heard from my mom or dad once in a blue moon... Today I hardly know my parents, we talk once in awhile, but our talk is just cheap frivolous talk! 

Have you ever heard about GRACE and what that means? We give grace to our children all the time! "Undeseved merit". We should be willing to give grace to all those we have loved and love. We also should be willing to be forgiving and grant forgive to those we love as well. My husband and I had some serious problems early in our marriage as well. We did not want to end up like our parents and cause problems for our kids by getting a divorce or seperated. There was only one choice; we had to find a way to work out our problems together. We went to some good friends of ours and seeked out good and wise counsel. We had homework to work on together. We both had to learn how to huble ourselves and put the other one first. It was a struggle, but well worth all the effort and work!...Never, never give up hope! PRAY like crazy!

by Member on Nov. 30, 2017 at 4:34 AM
I think this underlying hurt feeling from his behavior is the self love you have for yourself!! You know what you deserve and he cheated you out of being able to experience the happiness, security, and love that we sought after in a life partner. He was dishonest when he married you and then burdened your heart with his frivolous selfish ways. Oh I’m so sorry:( take care of your heart and only allow those who are careful with your heart, have your Love.

Quoting Alathea.Mum: I love your comments. Very wise. Thank you so much.
You completely right, it's the hurtful feeling that I don't know how to get away from it. I wish one day I awake and I can forget it all.
I stay in this relationship because too many people will be disappointed if I make decision to give up. And now with 2 kids even harder. I am not planning to give up. But I know I will always feel lonely around my own family.
I wonder how many woman feel this way...stuck...lonely.

Quoting Fayanne:

......... I'm wondering why you married him in the first place...?

and you say he loves you 'now'.... ? what is he doing differently?

You sound like you are not over the hurt he's caused you yet, or you are caught in a fairy tale mindset. Or a combination of both.

What he'd done with the pictures, comments, etc, IS very hurtful, and many women would not have stayed. Why did you?

I'm sure there's a lot more to your story, so giving advice is difficult.

Deep down, we all want to love and be loved. The kind of love men need, though, is very often different from the love women need.

Only you can decide what you deserve. Divorce is rarely ever easy. Recovering from divorce is hard. There's no guarantee that there will be love waiting for you on the other side.

Having somebody else to love... as in an affair??? NEVER a good idea, and it's rarely ever the real thing.

Good luck.  Counseling may help you sort things out.

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