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My husband and I have been stressed lately, which leads to lots of arguing. I get upset at the nu.ber of hours he spends online gaming. He says it's his stress relief. I don't think I'm being overbearing, we are talking about 4 hours a day on working days and 8+ on weekends. The gaming isn't my question though. When I bring it up, he says we all use too much tech, why is he being singled out, then says I'm blowing it out of proportion, then that I'm speaking to him like he is a child. Finally if I continue trying to discuss it, he will find something to rage about and a month ago this ended up being him pointing in my face and screaming, and this month it was kicki n't a tool set across the room while screaming at me. When I talked to him again after things calmed down I told him that he scared me and in my view that was abusive but he says everyone is entitled to lose their cool from time to time. My family of origin was full of abuse, addiction a d dysfunction so I don't know. So I'm just wondering, are his rage outs just a normal reaction to a disagreement and im over reacting or do I have a point? Cuz I'm feeling a little crazy...(and yes I know that I've utterly failed to solve the initial problem but his reactions make me a bit nervous to even bring them up again.)
by on Dec. 4, 2017 at 11:39 PM
Replies (11-13):
stepperbepper
by New Member on Dec. 7, 2017 at 10:29 PM
No, it doesn't seem normal to me
Velvetfog
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2017 at 11:14 AM
That's difficult to answer. It's not normal in my marriage now and never fit my idea of how I wanted things to be, but the answer to whether something like that ever was our "normal" is yes. I'm capable of reacting that way if I feel there's no solution, no point in trying to communicate because I'm never heard or taken seriously. I don't know if everyone is entitled to lose their cool, exactly, but my advice would be to give more credit to his point of view. It seems obvious he feels when it comes to technology his pastime is being unfairly singled out, so perhaps there's some truth to that and room to compromise.
createive
by Bronze Member on Dec. 15, 2017 at 7:46 AM
Doesn’t seem normal to me. 4 hours is a long time...getting angry or defensive seems extreme.

http://www.addictionrecov.org/Addictions/?AID=45
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