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Marriage After 2 Months

Posted by on Dec. 19, 2017 at 10:50 AM
  • 17 Replies
Hi Everyone!

I'm new here. Just needing advice not judgement, if at all possible.

I started dating a guy 2 months ago. We fell pretty hard for one another pretty fast. It was like love at first sight. We're both 30 and kno w what we want in our rship. Well we recently found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant. It was a big surprise because we only had unprotected sex once the entire 2 months of dating.

Well he is really wanting to keep the baby, but I'm hesitant. I told him the only way I will not have an abortion is if we get married. He already tells me he loves me so I don't understand why he is hesitant to get married.

Am I wrong for feeling like this? He says if I have the abortion will leave. But I feel like if he truly loves me and wants the baby he would marry me to allow me to know we will do it together.

Needing advice. Thank You!
by on Dec. 19, 2017 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Gypsy60
by Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 10:53 AM
What did he say when you mentioned marriage? Have you asked him why he's hesitant?
K3412
by Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 10:54 AM
Oh wow, that’s a tough situation. Not everyone desires to get married, and most people don’t desire to get married after two months. You are completely unwilling to have the baby unless you are married? Marriage is no guarantee that a relationship is going to work out. Ultimately it’s your final decision, but I wouldn’t hinge something so serious as a humans life on whether on not this guy you barely know wants to marry you.
CSKJHSB
by New Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 11:20 AM
He just says that he isn't willing to get married so soon. He is okay being engaged. To me it sounds fishy. I did ask why he is so hesitant, but he's yet to really answer the question. I personally thinks he is just wanting a baby.

Quoting Gypsy60: What did he say when you mentioned marriage? Have you asked him why he's hesitant?
CSKJHSB
by New Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 11:27 AM
I can understand him not wanting to get married so soon. I also believe that we put ourselves in this situation and he knew from the beginning how I felt. I expressed to him within days of meeting that I only wanted kids when married.
I made the mistake of having unprotected sex once and who would have thought we woulkd have conceived. So I do not feel I should have the baby if he is unwilling to get married. I had expressed this to him early on.
I agree that marriage is no guarantee, but I feel he would try harder.
He has 2 children from a previous relationship, and is an awesome father. I'm not sure why he is so opposed to marriage.
I agree. I truly believe abortion is best in our current situation. I've explained to him that I do not feel it's right to bring a baby into the world at this moment in time. He isn't a fulltime father to the 2 he has now. He only gets them when he is scheduled to get them. I don't want that for my 1st kid.

Quoting K3412: Oh wow, that�s a tough situation. Not everyone desires to get married, and most people don�t desire to get married after two months. You are completely unwilling to have the baby unless you are married? Marriage is no guarantee that a relationship is going to work out. Ultimately it�s your final decision, but I wouldn�t hinge something so serious as a humans life on whether on not this guy you barely know wants to marry you.
Katie6586
by on Dec. 19, 2017 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

It seems like you're threatening abortion as a result of him not wanting to marry you. I think you need to re-evaluate your situation. You say "we're both 30 and know what we want in our relationship." but really you don't know what you want, you're highly confused.

Bottom line is, do you want a baby or not? Don't determine whether or not to abort a child based off of whether or not he wants to marry you. If I were you, I'd probably have the baby and stay with the Father...your relationship may eventually turn into marriage. I'm sure he's not "opposed" to marriage, but he is probably opposed to marrying someone who he's only known for 2 months...I would be too. I was with my DH 8 years before we got married!

CSKJHSB
by New Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 12:10 PM
I'm not threatening abortion as a result of him not wanting to get married. I explained this to him within days of us meeting.

I do agree that I am confused. I've put myself in a tough situation, and I can't help but to be confused.

I also agree that 2 months is too early in a rship to get married. I believe it's to early to be pregnant as well.

Thank you for responding!

Quoting Katie6586:

It seems like you're threatening abortion as a result of him not wanting to marry you. I think you need to re-evaluate your situation. You say "we're both 30 and know what we want in our relationship." but really you don't know what you want, you're highly confused.

Bottom line is, do you want a baby or not? Don't determine whether or not to abort a child based off of whether or not he wants to marry you. If I were you, I'd probably have the baby and stay with the Father...your relationship may eventually turn into marriage. I'm sure he's not "opposed" to marriage, but he is probably opposed to marrying someone who he's only known for 2 months...I would be too. I was with my DH 8 years before we got married!

mrsniebo
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Pushing marriage because of a pregnancy seems like it could lead to resentment down the road. If you both want the baby, there's no reason you can't raise the baby together without a marriage license and see where things lead.
ELKmountain.mom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2017 at 12:41 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn’t get married just because of pregnancy, you may feel things are good but if he isn’t ready it would be best to wait.
You have to decide if you are willing to have a baby now without marriage. I don’t think this is something anyone else can answer for you, quick marriage doesn’t mean doom but if he isn’t ready it would do more harm IMO to push it.
My husband and I married very young after a month but I wasn’t expecting so it was just craziness lol
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2017 at 6:09 AM
3 moms liked this

It's too early on in your relationship to get married, the fact that he's willing to be engaged says a lot, I think he's a good man who wants to help you raise his child. An immature jerk would be urging abortion so he didn't have to pay child support, you have a good one here! If you abort I think you might regret it, if you have the baby I GUARANTEE you won't. 

Katie6586
by on Dec. 20, 2017 at 9:20 AM

This is very true!

Quoting Lindalou907:

It's too early on in your relationship to get married, the fact that he's willing to be engaged says a lot, I think he's a good man who wants to help you raise his child. An immature jerk would be urging abortion so he didn't have to pay child support, you have a good one here! If you abort I think you might regret it, if you have the baby I GUARANTEE you won't. 


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