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Marriage After 2 Months

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Hi Everyone!

I'm new here. Just needing advice not judgement, if at all possible.

I started dating a guy 2 months ago. We fell pretty hard for one another pretty fast. It was like love at first sight. We're both 30 and kno w what we want in our rship. Well we recently found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant. It was a big surprise because we only had unprotected sex once the entire 2 months of dating.

Well he is really wanting to keep the baby, but I'm hesitant. I told him the only way I will not have an abortion is if we get married. He already tells me he loves me so I don't understand why he is hesitant to get married.

Am I wrong for feeling like this? He says if I have the abortion will leave. But I feel like if he truly loves me and wants the baby he would marry me to allow me to know we will do it together.

Needing advice. Thank You!
by on Dec. 19, 2017 at 10:50 AM
Replies (11-17):
Valentina327
by Member on Dec. 20, 2017 at 1:02 PM
Having a baby is a TERRIBLE reason to get married.

If you want this baby then keep it and co parent. Getting married does not mean you'll raise this child together in the least. Do not legally tie your life to someone unless you truly want to, know them well, know their background, are in love, etc.
kvolm2016
by on Dec. 21, 2017 at 12:02 AM

I would ask if the 2 of you have talked about what "marriage" means.  Every individual has their own ideas about the purpose and expectations of a marriage.  I also wonder if you have explored what didn't work in his last relationship which produced the 2 children?  If that ended badly then he is likely bringing that experience into his feelings about your relationship.  Have you talked about either of these?

chaoticjoy
by on Dec. 21, 2017 at 8:58 AM

This is a tough situation. I guess after thinking about this, I have to give him credit for being responsible, two months is not a very long time to really get to know someone. With that said, I can see how you think that it is important for you to get married, but what if you waited? I got married because I was pregnant and it was disaster, so it could go either way. It sounds like you truly love this man, and maybe a little time wouldn't hurt anything. I can tell you, that the decision to terminate is one that will stay with you the rest of your life, it is not a decision you make one day and then move on without any emotional scars. Maybe he just needs some time to think about this, to adjust to major, wonderful, awesome change that is happening. Please don't make any rash decisions you can't take back, praying you can find a way to work through this and find peace with this....

jws120567
by Bronze Member on Dec. 21, 2017 at 10:47 AM

For heaven's sake, he's still a stranger!  Do NOT rush into marriage with a stranger just because you're pregnant!

jlm1980
by on Dec. 22, 2017 at 1:00 AM

I agree that marriage after only two months is a bit quick.  But I also think that your child, the innocent child you carry, does not deserve to have its' life ended.  I think that you should have the baby, whether or not you get married.  There is always adoption.  There are many women out there that cannot get pregnant that want a baby.  If your significant other loves you, he will stay with you, and get to know you more and want to raise the child with you.  And then eventually he will marry you.  It is an unfortunate turn of events but it doesn't have to end badly.  One poor choice doesn't have to end in a lot of regrets.  You are strong.  You can do this.  Everything will turn out okay.

BooBooBoom
by on Dec. 22, 2017 at 6:39 AM

Have you talked to him about why he doesn't want to get married? 

Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Dec. 22, 2017 at 7:14 AM

You are wrong, and I can't believe the life or death of an unborn child hinges on a piece of paper.

WTF with this "If he truly loves me, he'll marry me" bullshit. There are plenty of reasons to NOT rush into a marriage just because you're pregnant.

IF you wanted to wait until marriage before having kids, why in hell would you have unprotected sex?

Please be a troll.  


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