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Has your husband ever called you this?

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2018 at 8:35 AM
  • 36 Replies

Has your husband ever called you a piece of shit?

Well mine has...for the second time now.  We will be having an argument about something or he'll get mad and walk away and say "you piece of shit"...God just typing the words makes me start crying.  Then this morning it was "fuck you."  Before you all tell me I'm married to an abuser, etc. (because that's exactly what I would be telling you) let me say that he's really not.  He's the President of a company and has a lot of stress - no it's  not an excuse.  We have 2 teenagers, a 5 year old, a brand new house, aging parents, etc.  We've been married 20 years.  I quit my career when the teenagers were born so I could raise our children - it was a joint decision and probably the worst one I ever made.  I truly believe that in his eyes I have less value because I don't have a career.  I do work from home and try to get 20 hrs a week in but it's difficult and he is not much help.  I could go on and on but I won't.  

He apologized for the piece of shit remark and I forgive him, but I will admit I'm having a lot of trouble getting past it.  I am not a piece of shit.  I am a good Mom, a good friend, a community volunteer, a good daughter and I thought a good wife.  

by on Jan. 16, 2018 at 8:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lovingladyo4
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Sometimes men are so severely self centered and have severe avoidance issues. Looks like he may be avoiding the real issue here. An apology doesn't cover up what is really in his heart. The Bible says that, "....out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34. Nothing could be more true. We learn a lot about the condition of a person's character by the words they speak, their attitude, and their behavior. 

Possessions, monetary gain, self-suffiency and and selfish gain can only take a person so far. Relationships are what God gave us as the greatest foundation for personal growth and satisfaction. All I can say is I am so sorry to hear this is what you have to live with. My prayers are with you.

K3412
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:01 AM
3 moms liked this
You say he’s not abusive, and try to explain it away, but he is. Your explainations mean nothing. He’s still verball abusive. Treating your wife as less-than, calling her names and thinking she’s inadequate because she doesn’t work outside the home is not normal or healthy. You need to wake up and stop making excuses. What he’s doing is not okay and you shouldn’t be okay with it.
offrdngal
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:08 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes, exactly.

Quoting K3412: You say he’s not abusive, and try to explain it away, but he is. Your explainations mean nothing. He’s still verball abusive. Treating your wife as less-than, calling her names and thinking she’s inadequate because she doesn’t work outside the home is not normal or healthy. You need to wake up and stop making excuses. What he’s doing is not okay and you shouldn’t be okay with it.
herear00
by New Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:15 AM

I can't leave...so what do I do?????  Therapist???  Anti-depressants?  I don't even know who I am anymore.


K3412
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:20 AM
You CAN leave. It may not be easy or enjoyable at first, but most everyone CAN leave some way or another.

I would try individual and couples counseling first. This is not a “you” problem, and antidepressants and therapy for you aren’t going to fix your husband.

Quoting herear00:

I can't leave...so what do I do?????  Therapist???  Anti-depressants?  I don't even know who I am anymore.

EmilyH87
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:25 AM
Stress is not a reason to say terrible things to your spouse. You say he's not abusive, yet that he says nasty things and treats you like less in the same breath. That's all I've really got since you insist that isn't abusive behavior.
Rlmori2010
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 9:31 AM
He wouldn’t ever call me that or any other crude name, he knows what’s good for him. Your husband is a dick and seems verbally abusive. Stress should not be an excuse to be a fucking ass hat to you.. lots of people are stressed and they don’t lash out at their spouses like he does.

Quoting herear00:

Has your husband ever called you a piece of shit?

Well mine has...for the second time now.  We will be having an argument about something or he'll get mad and walk away and say "you piece of shit"...God just typing the words makes me start crying.  Then this morning it was "fuck you."  Before you all tell me I'm married to an abuser, etc. (because that's exactly what I would be telling you) let me say that he's really not.  He's the President of a company and has a lot of stress - no it's  not an excuse.  We have 2 teenagers, a 5 year old, a brand new house, aging parents, etc.  We've been married 20 years.  I quit my career when the teenagers were born so I could raise our children - it was a joint decision and probably the worst one I ever made.  I truly believe that in his eyes I have less value because I don't have a career.  I do work from home and try to get 20 hrs a week in but it's difficult and he is not much help.  I could go on and on but I won't.  

He apologized for the piece of shit remark and I forgive him, but I will admit I'm having a lot of trouble getting past it.  I am not a piece of shit.  I am a good Mom, a good friend, a community volunteer, a good daughter and I thought a good wife.  

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Jan. 16, 2018 at 10:09 AM

What's the context of the arguement? What is about you staying home? Has he told you he feels you are less equal for staying home? 


If in 20 year my husband has been a great husband, father, provider, and only slipped up by calling me somthing like that 2x in a short time span, I would be asking him what is going on.  Yes, he has a lot of stress, but there must be something else going on that is adding even more and he may not want to burden you with it. 


I am sure you have said things about people while angry and not truly meant it.  Things happen.  Get to the bottom of why, try to fix it, and move on. 

Umi12
by New Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 11:26 AM
Yes it is abusive. Whatever his stress is doesnt make it okay. You should be his stress relief because you guys are each others rock. Maybe marriage counseling? Why would you need anti depressants if you have a reason to feel upset? He needs to find a way to manage things rather than on you.
B3autifulCha0s
by Member on Jan. 16, 2018 at 1:12 PM
My husband would never say anything like that. He has been rude from time to time but I confront him when it happens. I would not put up with him calling me names. Saying sorry doesn’t mean anything if it happens again.
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