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Is it hard for you to move past an argument?

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2018 at 5:05 AM
  • 14 Replies

Are you able to let things go easily or does it bother you for a while after getting into an argument?

by on Jan. 22, 2018 at 5:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Jan. 22, 2018 at 6:09 AM

Depends on what the argument was about... we don't have many, but the ones we do have are usually about pretty serious/big deals. I tend to stay bothered, but keep my mouth shut about it.

143myboys9496
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2018 at 10:58 PM

Depends upon what we're arguing about. Some things I can let go easier than others, usually that's tied to his reaction or things he says, more than the issue itself.

kika.fleur
by Silver Member on Jan. 24, 2018 at 12:19 AM

We rarely take to argument level, and it's because we're both mindful to not let emotions reign. It's not easy, we sometimes have to remind each other to relax and just discuss but it also means that feelings aren't hurt. 

When we do have an argument and I harbor ill will... I'll be frank about it. We'll talk about it a bit, which helps. 

Caitlin10081989
by Member on Jan. 24, 2018 at 3:49 AM

No, I am not able to let thing go easily. It bothers me for a while after getting into an argument.

imacarolinamom
by New Member on Jan. 24, 2018 at 10:08 AM
We tend to argue and then compromise usually.
I am lucky, my husband is really great at bringing up an issue without being mean. I am not sure how to explain it.
I am guilty of forgetting to tell him about using our debit card and going over an agreed budget. He has called and said, babe that extra $ you went over on groceries made our budget tight. Did you forget we have x, y, and z? Do we need to adjust the grocery budget or was this just a slurge so we can discuss it.

He has taught me to be careful how I approach things when I am angry to leave room to work out the issue.
bmw29
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2018 at 10:14 AM
I tend to be a get it out and get over it type of person. Once it's been handled not only do I get over it but I completely forget about it pretty quickly.
Velvetfog
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2018 at 9:44 AM
That's more him. It can be hard for me if I'm not satisfied with how things were resolved, which is a problem we've run into from time to time. Disparity in how we perceive an issue as over. In general he's the one to hold onto some residual feelings that put a damper on his mood for awhile and I'm the one who immediately goes back to "normal", though.
redheadtmk
by on Jan. 25, 2018 at 11:34 PM

We always discuss things until we are both satisfied so there is no lingering ill feelings. 

MonarchMom22
by Member on Jan. 26, 2018 at 10:28 AM

It used to be hard for me, but I have learned over time that is not productive. Punishing someone with anger or coldness does not change anything.  You just both dig in deeper, and the discussion becomes all about your over reaction rather than the issue.  And I don't want to spend time being angry.

Now I tell my DH what bothered me. And I take a little time alone doing something I want to do - not being cold, just apart. He has time to think it over and usuallyl we resolve things. It works both ways - I would rather he just tell me what I'm doing that feels bad rather than get angry.

donnag013
by Member on Jan. 26, 2018 at 3:11 PM

I tend to hold on to the hurt, at least over night. I've tried to let it go, but I feel how I feel. Once I get a good night's sleep, I can usually let it go. I just withdraw for a bit.

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