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Did your dh cut off all of his friends once he married you?

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2018 at 9:02 AM
  • 31 Replies
My dh has no social life at all. Once he got married to me he cut off all of his friends & he only spends time with me. When we were dating for two years he had two best friends that he hung out with all of the time. We would all go on Date Nights together with my friends. After we got married dh just cut them off. A few months into our marriage I asked him "Why don't you hang out with your friends anymore?" He said "Because I just choose not to." I have tried to get him to hang out with my brother and create a bond but he just tells me no. Since we've been married (5 years) we haven't spent any time away from each other or even spent one night separated. I told him every married couple needs a break from each other to miss one another but he doesn't see it that way.
by on Jan. 28, 2018 at 9:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 9:05 AM
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Self-imposed not something I asked him to do. I have even just told him, just go out, get out of the house. We are going into our 40s and he acts like we are in our 80s! My club rat day are over but that doesn’t mean I want to stay in the house all the time!!
MistyMoo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 9:08 AM
No. Dh's best friend actually visits quite a lot. He's like family. I like him way better than my BIL 😆
Rlmori2010
by Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 9:13 AM
No. We would have parties every weekend at our house. It wasn’t until after deployment he stopped having people over and going out. I would like to have people over but we can never find a couple that we both like. I have a friend now that he likes but hates her POS husband...
Blue231
by Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 9:23 AM
My Dh still sees his friends. He goes to watch sports games, sees car shows, goes boating, and occasionally watches movies in the theatre with friends. We go camping and boating as a family with his friends, too.

I agree with you, OP. It is important for spouses to have friendships outside of the marriage. It takes pressure off the marriage and allows you each to have fun on your own. This in turn gives you renewed energy for your each other, new things to talk about with each other, and experiences to enrich your lives. It is also helpful for the future in case something happens to one of you. It is important to maintain friendships as a source of support in case your spouse gets hurt, ill, or passes away. Everyone should have friendship and support in their marriage as well as with other friends. IMO, that is good for the couple.
1squishysmom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this
We have been married over 26 years. My husband and I socialized with his friends quite a bit after we married, but after our first baby, it was rare. We don't even know where some of them live now. It wasn't just him pulling away, it was them, too. Everyone just went their own way. After our wedding, he would never have dreamed of hanging out without me, we always met as couples

We pretty much keep to ourselves now and enjoy that. Owning our own business, he still sees a lot of people and we're so busy with work that "just us" time is welcome
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Jan. 28, 2018 at 10:12 AM
1 mom liked this

I would die. I can't fathom not having friends outside of my marriage or not getting ME time away from my husband.  I would start laying down some ground rules like one night a month you do a double date, one night you get a girl's night.. etc.

Do you have any girlfriends you can go hang out with for a night for some girl time???? 


emarin77
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 10:19 AM

No, we try see one or two every year. 

SpiritedWitch
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 10:52 AM

No. His best friend when we got married, moved away to marry a girl. His best friend that he met after we got married, stopped talking to him after husband was disabled and our son died. Some "best friend". 

nanasue31204
by Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 11:19 AM
We only hang out as couples because our friends don’t live near us anymore. His friends are great, I wouldn’t care if he hung out but even when we did live in the same town he preferred we hang out together. He loves spending all his free time with me, he doesn’t get a lot of down time and We are best friends. Maybe if we had a lot of time to do stuff together we’d feel differently about spending time apart but right now this works for us.
anotherandree
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2018 at 11:31 AM
No. We were actually quite careful to maintain our identities. Married 15 years.
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