Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do you have to have sex with your spouse?

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2018 at 11:58 AM
  • 18 Replies

Discussing this with a coworker so I thought I'd throw it out to Cafemom.

Can a married person have an expectation of sex? Should a spouse expect their spouse to "put out" if they don't want to? 

If yes, how often? Does a spouse have the right to say "I know you want to twice a week, but I only want to once a month?" Alternately can a spouse say the opposite? 

If no, can the spouse who wants to be expected to remain faithful in a marriage that does not meet their needs? 

Can a spouse just decide that they are never in the mood and it is their body so they get to say? 


What say you, fellow moms?

by on Feb. 6, 2018 at 11:58 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mcginnisc
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

1.)Anyone can have an expectation..that does not mean it will be fufilled.  One spouse does not get to call all the shots in a marriage regarding anything. It doesn't matter what it is. Compromise has to happen regarding every subject that can arise in a marriage. 

2.) If a spouse cares about the other person, they should not expect the other person to just "put out". It should be for a connection not to appease the other person.

3.) This is where compromise comes into play. No person is going to "win"...they must compromise. 

4.) Yes..anyone can state they are not in the mood.. being forced into sex is called rape. 

Claire


" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 

atlmom2
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 12:25 PM

Nope



Come to Big Brothers Groupies if you want to chat about Big Brother Celebrity Edition Starting Feb 7.  Just a warning it is a spoiler group.  

Thewife06
by Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this
A marriage should have a lot of communication. Would I like to have sex every couple of days? Uh, yeah. But my husband has bad back issues so I don't pester the shit out of him. When he's up for it, we go for it. Just because I don't get to have sex anywhere near as often as I like does not mean I get to go out and be a whore and hurt my family.

Instead, we talk. We talk about the most random things imaginable. There are so many other ways to connect with your spouse than sex. Find and use those connections instead.
emarin77
by Silver Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 1:59 PM

Sure, one can say only one time a week, but give a real reason.  I told my husband I can only have sex once a week because I will have  a UTI if I have another night with sex.

luvnature
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 3:33 PM

This. 


Quoting mcginnisc:

1.)Anyone can have an expectation..that does not mean it will be fufilled.  One spouse does not get to call all the shots in a marriage regarding anything. It doesn't matter what it is. Compromise has to happen regarding every subject that can arise in a marriage. 

2.) If a spouse cares about the other person, they should not expect the other person to just "put out". It should be for a connection not to appease the other person.

3.) This is where compromise comes into play. No person is going to "win"...they must compromise. 

4.) Yes..anyone can state they are not in the mood.. being forced into sex is called rape. 


PinkButterfly66
by Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 3:39 PM

No.  It should be a mutually wanted thing.  I would never force my husband into having sex if he wasn't in the mood.  That only makes for lousy sex.  Sex is not the only way to maintain connection and intimacy.  

ShadesOfBeauty
by Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 5:40 PM

Not anymore! We're finally getting a divorce! Yay! 

Sassym0m24
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2018 at 7:47 PM
If someone feels their needs are significantly not met,consistently then that's not good for said person and will negatively impact things all around unless a lot of other intamcy type things happen that bond the two folks.

Does that mean sex should be pushed,expected,nagged about or done to appease someone? No.
sonnyswoman75
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2018 at 10:12 AM
No just because you are married doesn't mean it's a sexual contract to satisfy the other person.
Manic_Sinner
by Member on Feb. 7, 2018 at 10:16 AM
Everyone is different and a relationship isn’t just about sex but for us it’s important. I would be very unhappy in a sexless marriage and I imagine many people feel the same way. Some people have higher sex drives so certain couples do have to compromise the amount of times they do it. We don’t always get the chance but a couple times a week is good for us, lately it’s once a week. I don’t someone should be forced to have sex if they don’t want but the other persons needs are important... if they cheat or leave I don’t blame them. Not saying I agree or that it’s ok just saying I don’t blame them.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)