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Do you have to have sex with your spouse?

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Discussing this with a coworker so I thought I'd throw it out to Cafemom.

Can a married person have an expectation of sex? Should a spouse expect their spouse to "put out" if they don't want to? 

If yes, how often? Does a spouse have the right to say "I know you want to twice a week, but I only want to once a month?" Alternately can a spouse say the opposite? 

If no, can the spouse who wants to be expected to remain faithful in a marriage that does not meet their needs? 

Can a spouse just decide that they are never in the mood and it is their body so they get to say? 

What say you, fellow moms?

by on Feb. 6, 2018 at 11:58 AM
Replies (11-18):
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2018 at 1:47 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't force hubby and he doesn't force me it s something we mutually agree upon
by Member on Feb. 10, 2018 at 8:39 AM

We both enjoy sex.  Either of us can suggest it, but also either of us can say, sorry, not tonight.  

by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2018 at 8:48 AM



Women need to feel loved in order to make love..... men feel loved when they get sex. Any woman who fails to understand the importance of sex to a man is really being cruel by withholding sex just because she doesn't feel like it. Men have  a physical and emotional need for sex.

I understood it better when SO said "The best gift a woman can give a man is her body, it really is a gift."  (read not a "have to").

How do you treat the most important person in your life? By not understanding what is important to them??

Do you do things for your kids even when you're too tired to feel like it?? Isn't there value in doing something because of what it does for the other person and not just yourself?

by Member on Feb. 10, 2018 at 3:16 PM

I wouldn't say that their should be some prearranged amount of time that a couple should have sex. DH and I have an understanding that we both should be in the mood to have sex. But, on the other hand. If one of us is in the mood and the other is not in the mood, no one is going to get mad if the one in the mood does everything he/she can to get the other person in the mood too. LOL

by Member on Feb. 11, 2018 at 8:18 PM
Yep. I expect it and my husband expects it.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2018 at 11:29 AM

Um wow. I've never thought about this lol. I've always had the expectation that my husband puts out and I'm expected to put out also. We don't bargan how often. We've never really had to. I can see one not being fullfilled and straying or getting it elsewhere. I think if there's an agreement, then I see nothing wrong with that. I think it all depends on the stability of your marriage. There's lots of men out there who will cheat but never leave. I'm sure there are lots of women who would do the same.

by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2018 at 8:14 PM
For me, yes sex is important. But that's why I married someone with the same mindset.
by Trica on Feb. 16, 2018 at 12:34 AM
No, communication is the key. Who wants lousy sex? We do not force or feel obligated when sick or tired,however we enjoy each other very much.
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