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SO MAD AT HUBBY for over spending

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I am so mad right now he went to hang out with his brother tonight so he spent 50 dollars... Why am I so mad we just sat down for HOURS last night to come up with a budget that we agreed on and have been really deicated to this we promised each other we wouldn't spend money and yet he spends 50 dollars So bummed. 

by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:19 AM
Replies (21-30):
matreshka
by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:56 PM

I guess in a way, its more of the fact that by nature I am a saver and he is a spender.

Quoting extremelibrary:

Sounds like a double standard to me.

Quoting matreshka:

I could write a post like this myself.  I just checked our bank account and DH has been ordering about 2 records every day online.  I understand he wants to replace his collection that was "lost" by his dad but it impacts everyone else here in the house too. 

It makes me angry because when I want something he'll start talking about the budget.



matreshka
by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:59 PM

That really sucks he does that over the small things. I would be livid. I hope you two can sit down and come to an understanding and agreement on the budget.

Quoting nicoal4:


Quoting matreshka:

I could write a post like this myself.  I just checked our bank account and DH has been ordering about 2 records every day online.  I understand he wants to replace his collection that was "lost" by his dad but it impacts everyone else here in the house too. 

It makes me angry because when I want something he'll start talking about the budget.

That sucks because he does the SAME THING and that is why I am SO mad I went to get everything yesterday unloading 5 kids from store to store and thought well sense he is at his brother I will make something easy Spaghetti so I got the stuff went up tp pay for it and told the cashier never mind I don't want the spag stuff because it wasn't in our budget we talked about I just went home and cooked something harder. IF I even buy a candy bar he would question it before this. I told him that this morning because he is still mad that I am upset and said we need to take what you spent out of the camping fund he wants to take it out of our Motorcycle fund that goes toward paying off our motorcycle off in 3 months and we owe 6,000 . 


chrissysnow22
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:26 PM
Put it in cash and don't use the cards for any unauthorized purchases.

I understand.


Quoting matreshka:

This is always a good thing to have, we have it too, but DH usually ends up using it on himself.

I always tell him what I intend to get but he never tells me.  I would just like a heads up, not like its him asking for permission.

Quoting chrissysnow22:

I am so sorry. Dh used to do that a lot. Do you have spending money in your budget?

We have spending money and we also have a specifies amount that if we want to go over then we need to consult our other half.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
opal10161973
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:17 AM

You need to split that up to your half and his half and take it out as cash.  That way, you can get what you want and he can too.  I HAD to do this with DF. 

Quoting matreshka:

This is always a good thing to have, we have it too, but DH usually ends up using it on himself.

I always tell him what I intend to get but he never tells me.  I would just like a heads up, not like its him asking for permission.

Quoting chrissysnow22:

I am so sorry. Dh used to do that a lot. Do you have spending money in your budget?
We have spending money and we also have a specifies amount that if we want to go over then we need to consult our other half.



opal10161973
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:20 AM

My DF is a spender and does the same thing to me, who is A LOT more frugal than he is.  It's just a double standard.  I'm not the saver either, just a better saver than DF is.

Quoting matreshka:

I guess in a way, its more of the fact that by nature I am a saver and he is a spender.

Quoting extremelibrary:

Sounds like a double standard to me.

Quoting matreshka:

I could write a post like this myself.  I just checked our bank account and DH has been ordering about 2 records every day online.  I understand he wants to replace his collection that was "lost" by his dad but it impacts everyone else here in the house too. 

It makes me angry because when I want something he'll start talking about the budget.




EmilyMarshall
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:21 AM
sorry


julie4781
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:22 AM

have you ever thought of taking on a part time "job" while hubby is home at nights? This way you can have extra money!! www.mylindtchocolatersvp.com/675

opal10161973
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:25 AM

There are going to be a lot of starts and stops with the budget.  That's just how it is sometimes.  Take it from where it can come from- the camping budget.  Maybe he will think about that next time he wants to spend money that's not been bugeted for.  It takes time to reel them in and honestly, they don't make a line strong enough to work every time.  I have been working for years with my DF and we still have our moments.  It gets better.  GL

matreshka
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:33 AM

I'm really hoping to avoid having to do that.  Part of the reason I got married is so that we could keep everything in common and call it "ours."  I was thinking this morning that I write out the budget and show it to him on paper.  All we have ever done is just talk about it.  Maybe seing it on paper would help him, along with itemized spending from our bank account that is his spending and what is my spending.

Quoting opal10161973:

You need to split that up to your half and his half and take it out as cash.  That way, you can get what you want and he can too.  I HAD to do this with DF. 

Quoting matreshka:

This is always a good thing to have, we have it too, but DH usually ends up using it on himself.

I always tell him what I intend to get but he never tells me.  I would just like a heads up, not like its him asking for permission.

Quoting chrissysnow22:

I am so sorry. Dh used to do that a lot. Do you have spending money in your budget?
We have spending money and we also have a specifies amount that if we want to go over then we need to consult our other half.




opal10161973
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:45 AM

I just did this exact same thing with my DF a couple of months ago and it did help, but only a bit.  It wasn't until we split our spending money, that it finally sunk in all the way.  Does he still use all of his and then ask me for some of mine?  Yep, but it has slowed him down and that was the goal.  I don't want him to be miserable and I wish we could just have it all together, but then, I would have no fun for me and I won't live that way.  We BOTH need some fun and some latitude in which to do it. 

Mine collects Hot Wheels, BTW.  Sounds like an inexpensive habit, but it's not when they are looking for a specific one and drive all over town trying to find it.  Drives me bonkers!  I shouldn't be made to feel bad because I spend $1.89 on Eureka episodes every week on Amazon- which he tried to do.  Really honey?  And how much did you spend on Hot Wheels?  OH, that's different?  How exactly?  They WILL make more Hot Wheels, but it's the last season of Eureka.  LOL

Quoting matreshka:

I'm really hoping to avoid having to do that.  Part of the reason I got married is so that we could keep everything in common and call it "ours."  I was thinking this morning that I write out the budget and show it to him on paper.  All we have ever done is just talk about it.  Maybe seing it on paper would help him, along with itemized spending from our bank account that is his spending and what is my spending.

Quoting opal10161973:

You need to split that up to your half and his half and take it out as cash.  That way, you can get what you want and he can too.  I HAD to do this with DF. 

Quoting matreshka:

This is always a good thing to have, we have it too, but DH usually ends up using it on himself.

I always tell him what I intend to get but he never tells me.  I would just like a heads up, not like its him asking for permission.

Quoting chrissysnow22:

I am so sorry. Dh used to do that a lot. Do you have spending money in your budget?
We have spending money and we also have a specifies amount that if we want to go over then we need to consult our other half.





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