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Don't judge me by what I wear. A rant ****update**** in red

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 Okay, I went to the grocery store to pick up milk and eggs for breakfast this morning around 7a.m. I had on sweat shorts and a T-shirt and flip flops. My hair was pulled back in a ponytail to keep it out of my face. So, I was not dressed to impress. Why should I if I'm going to make breakfast and clean the house. I don't know one person who dresses up. 

So, I's standing line line to check out. I had 2 women in back of me making comments on how I look. I tried to ignore them just because they don't know my situation. The comment was made that people like me should learn what fashion was, lose some weight and get a job. I snapped. I turned around and said " For your information, I've been up since 3:00 am with my dying father in law everyday for two weeks because he has phnemonia and probly won't make it till the end of the week.  Plus, I was trying to do something nice for my hubby that has been working 80 hrs a week because they are on a deadline and has not been home to eat a decent meal with his family. So I was trying to make him some breakfast. besides that, My 3 boys have not had a lot of attention because of father in law, so I was trying to be nice and make pancakes. Oh and by the way, not making excuses about my weight but I have a thyroid problem and can't lose it."

The ladies shut their mouths and didnt say another word. 

I wear old clothes because I'm a stay at home mom. I'm not going to wear a dress to clean pee off the toilet, I'm not going to wear heals to do laundry. The money my husband makes goes to bills and for the boys. 

I chose to pay registartion fees for football and baseball for my kids. I choose to buy clothes for my kids so they don't go naked to school. Yes I go to goodwill or thrift stores to buy "brand name" clothes for them. I have nice clothes to go out in. But I refuse to wear them to clean in. Why can't anyone see that.

please for the love of God, don't judge till you know what the other person is going through.

As of 2 a.m. My father in law past in his sleep. Thank you all for your love and support. Now I can focus on my own family and myself. Your kind words and well wishes will not be forgotten.

For the lost one  4/2003

by on Jul. 17, 2012 at 1:12 PM
Replies (61-70):
KenzieQsMommy
by Heather on Jul. 19, 2012 at 9:53 PM
((Hugs))
Sorry about your fil. I hope your family finds some peace soon.


Quoting 5crayons:

Taking 5 minutes to put jeans on is kind of lame if you ask me, because I'm running in and running out. I got what I needed so I could spend what little time I had with my family because I haven't seen my hubby for a few days because of a work project. So I'm sorry if you feel I'm a unkept lazy person, which I am not. Clothes DO NOT make the person. If you are that shallow of a person, then so be it. I 90% of the time don't look at people that way. I'm not perfect by no means, but, I don't judge by how a person dresses, until I know their situation.

I guess at this moment in time my family comes first. Again, before FIL got sick, I did take care of myself. By changing my priorties as of late, I have not lost myself, I've had to take the back seat. I think someone dying takes more priority than what I look like going to the store.


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EvilQueenMommy
by Member on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:46 PM

After my best friend died, I think I went a month without caring about myself at all. I have no idea what I wore, if I brushed my hair or showered. I went to school and to the store a mess. I know people were talking about me wearing pjs to my finals, but whatever. I just figure if all they can do is talk about me, they must lead boring lives.

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EvilQueenMommy
by Member on Jul. 19, 2012 at 10:47 PM
2 moms liked this

Good for you, do you want a cookie?

Quoting jessi2girls:

takes 5 minutes to change into some casual clothes, do something with your hair, and throw on some make up...

bottom line is, you don't put the effort in to care for yourself, and it shows. Obviously.

Yes, it's commendable that you put others first, but if you don't put yourself up there as well, you loose who you are.

You many be a nurse, a cook, and a maid, but there is little else left of who you are..

buying presentable clothes to go out into public with, doesn't cost an arm and a leg.. buying decent shoes.. doing your hair, quick make up.. can all be really cheap.. you can buy good clothes for yourself even at the thrift store..

hiding behind sweats, because you don't want to put in the effort to take care of yourself.. is sad though. Just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean you can't look like a confident, reliable, beautiful woman!  Doesn't matter your weight, doesn't matter what your job is.

I use to take care of my grandfather before he passed away, clean his house, run his errands, the whole nine yards.. on top of being a single mom.. working, etc.. it didn't stop me from taking 5 minutes before leaving to make myself presentable.


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simple_ole_me
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 3:58 AM

I have a good job, I've met Mr. Right, and I have great friends. I'm not trying to impress a damn soul ... especially in the freezer section of the grocery store.

Thanks for the entertainment.

Quoting jessi2girls:

1- yes we are all different.. that goes without saying.. presentable clothes are NOT hard to come by.. pj's, sweats, are for the home, not for public.

2-By putting everyone else's priorities before your own, and putting yourself last, yes, that does mean you've lost part of who you are as a person.  And yes, that is sad. I don't care if accept this or not, but it's the truth. And the truth isn't always pleasant to hear.

3- Yes, the way those women openly commented about her was rude, that goes without saying as well. Had she asked about it to them, or posted about it, that's another issue entirely.. HOWEVER.... what they spoke out loud is what many other's are thinking inside of their heads when they see people dressed as she was.

4- Does dressing a certain way make one person better than another? In a way, yes, it does. On one hand, you have someone who comes off as being lazy, unkept, who holds little regard for herself, on the other hand, you have women, you are well kept, have confidence, and take the extra 5-10 minutes to look presentable, and that can go a long way. Perhaps not in HER life style, but in the real world, let's face it, the way you dress represents who you are as a person.. it can determine if you get a job or not, meet mr. right or not, the friends you have, etc. Your clothes define a lot about who you are, and how you live your life.


Quoting KenzieQsMommy:

I can't sit by and witness this comment without saying something.
We are all different. Just because *you* don't leave the house in 'real clothes' (who determins that anyway?) doesn't make it 'sad' that other people are less concerned about it. Doesn't mean she's lost who she is, it means her priorities are different than yours and that doesn't make her better than you or you better than her. Just different.
Those women had no right to be so rude.


Quoting jessi2girls:

takes 5 minutes to change into some casual clothes, do something with your hair, and throw on some make up...

bottom line is, you don't put the effort in to care for yourself, and it shows. Obviously.

Yes, it's commendable that you put others first, but if you don't put yourself up there as well, you loose who you are.

You many be a nurse, a cook, and a maid, but there is little else left of who you are..

buying presentable clothes to go out into public with, doesn't cost an arm and a leg.. buying decent shoes.. doing your hair, quick make up.. can all be really cheap.. you can buy good clothes for yourself even at the thrift store..

hiding behind sweats, because you don't want to put in the effort to take care of yourself.. is sad though. Just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean you can't look like a confident, reliable, beautiful woman!  Doesn't matter your weight, doesn't matter what your job is.

I use to take care of my grandfather before he passed away, clean his house, run his errands, the whole nine yards.. on top of being a single mom.. working, etc.. it didn't stop me from taking 5 minutes before leaving to make myself presentable.




momto3isme
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 8:43 AM
Sorry for your loss and those women were rude.
jessi2girls
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 9:49 AM

did you get your job in sweat pants? could you keep your job if you walked in in sweats? Did you meet mr. right in sweats? Go on dates with him in sweats?

i doubt it.

It's not about just about impressing others.. it's about how you represent yourself, and your family.

Quoting simple_ole_me:

I have a good job, I've met Mr. Right, and I have great friends. I'm not trying to impress a damn soul ... especially in the freezer section of the grocery store.

Thanks for the entertainment.

Quoting jessi2girls:

1- yes we are all different.. that goes without saying.. presentable clothes are NOT hard to come by.. pj's, sweats, are for the home, not for public.

2-By putting everyone else's priorities before your own, and putting yourself last, yes, that does mean you've lost part of who you are as a person.  And yes, that is sad. I don't care if accept this or not, but it's the truth. And the truth isn't always pleasant to hear.

3- Yes, the way those women openly commented about her was rude, that goes without saying as well. Had she asked about it to them, or posted about it, that's another issue entirely.. HOWEVER.... what they spoke out loud is what many other's are thinking inside of their heads when they see people dressed as she was.

4- Does dressing a certain way make one person better than another? In a way, yes, it does. On one hand, you have someone who comes off as being lazy, unkept, who holds little regard for herself, on the other hand, you have women, you are well kept, have confidence, and take the extra 5-10 minutes to look presentable, and that can go a long way. Perhaps not in HER life style, but in the real world, let's face it, the way you dress represents who you are as a person.. it can determine if you get a job or not, meet mr. right or not, the friends you have, etc. Your clothes define a lot about who you are, and how you live your life.


Quoting KenzieQsMommy:

I can't sit by and witness this comment without saying something.
We are all different. Just because *you* don't leave the house in 'real clothes' (who determins that anyway?) doesn't make it 'sad' that other people are less concerned about it. Doesn't mean she's lost who she is, it means her priorities are different than yours and that doesn't make her better than you or you better than her. Just different.
Those women had no right to be so rude.


Quoting jessi2girls:

takes 5 minutes to change into some casual clothes, do something with your hair, and throw on some make up...

bottom line is, you don't put the effort in to care for yourself, and it shows. Obviously.

Yes, it's commendable that you put others first, but if you don't put yourself up there as well, you loose who you are.

You many be a nurse, a cook, and a maid, but there is little else left of who you are..

buying presentable clothes to go out into public with, doesn't cost an arm and a leg.. buying decent shoes.. doing your hair, quick make up.. can all be really cheap.. you can buy good clothes for yourself even at the thrift store..

hiding behind sweats, because you don't want to put in the effort to take care of yourself.. is sad though. Just because you are a SAHM doesn't mean you can't look like a confident, reliable, beautiful woman!  Doesn't matter your weight, doesn't matter what your job is.

I use to take care of my grandfather before he passed away, clean his house, run his errands, the whole nine yards.. on top of being a single mom.. working, etc.. it didn't stop me from taking 5 minutes before leaving to make myself presentable.





Meli55aG2001
by on Jul. 20, 2012 at 9:54 AM
2 moms liked this
So sorry to hear about your father-in-law. Thoughts and prayers are with your family.

Jessi2girls, did you even see the OP's update? Why don't you get off your high horse and offer some condolences? If not, leave the post. So glad I don't know you in real life.
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KenzieQsMommy
by Heather on Jul. 20, 2012 at 9:57 AM
I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs)))
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mem82
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 10:49 AM

*hugs* For you and your family. My your FIL rest in peace.

Marz31
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2012 at 11:37 AM

Huge Hugs, my deepest sympathies for your loss :(

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