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My son got in trouble at school (OT)

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:00 PM
  • 22 Replies

And we got him what he wanted for Christmas already, have it hidden. 

We told him he could only get one present because we are going out of town, plus he wants more expensive stuff now that he is older so he picked a tablet.  His brother has one and they are always fighting over it.  We got him a pretty good one.

Then today, I got a call from the school I needed to go to the principal's office.  (He is 11, in 6th grade and I never had to do this before)

His friend brough poppers you throw at the floor to school and my son threw at least one.  And his teacher told them to throw them away and stop and later they threw more at recess or something.  It scared one of the teachers. Now he is suspended they say he is lucky he is not expelled.  They consider it an explosive.

He is definitely punished, no technology for a long time, still working on the terms of the punishment.  He just went to bed so need to have a long talk w hubby still.

Also, we talked with him about how wrong that was and dumb.  

What do I do about the tablet.  Do I give him punishment for a couple months and then he gets it when the  punishment is over? Should I return it?  Ugh I hate this.  

Please no bashing!

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lillybug222
by Bronze Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:08 PM
8 moms liked this
I teach 8th grade. I'm surprised they consider it an explosive. That being said, my bigger concerns would be:

--he did not listen to the teacher when he chose to throw more later.
--who his friends are (his friend brought them & also didn't listen to the teacher)

I'm not convinced that taking away technology is the solution here. Natural consequences seem to work best. He's kicked out of school. He'll likely get zero's on his assignments. If it were me, I would ask teachers for the work & require him to do it anyway--because his education is important & you don't want him to miss the information. Then, I would make his life miserable while on suspension. He would have a long list of chores/projects he would have to accomplish--you know, the big things--like cleaning out closets, junk drawers, play rooms, etc. he would be grounded as well, but not for months. I would give him the tablet & if it's in the initial grounding, he wouldn't use it. Then, he would earn back time with good behavior. I would also follow up with all of his teachers throughout January to see how his behavior is.
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a_and_j_momma
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:33 PM
1 mom liked this
I think a few months is pretty extreme. Kids that age often don't think things through. My son is 11 too. When it is something I don't think he thinks about I make him write all the reasons it is not ok and do not give him clues. We then go over it and see what he missed and discuss...say they may think it is an attack, etc.

I then make him write apology letters and state why he is sorry in depth and why it was wrong....what he will do in the future.

I would also ground him from something he really likes for a week.
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a_and_j_momma
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:34 PM
2 moms liked this
Oh and I actually make him give the apology letters to the people.




Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I think a few months is pretty extreme. Kids that age often don't think things through. My son is 11 too. When it is something I don't think he thinks about I make him write all the reasons it is not ok and do not give him clues. We then go over it and see what he missed and discuss...say they may think it is an attack, etc.



I then make him write apology letters and state why he is sorry in depth and why it was wrong....what he will do in the future.



I would also ground him from something he really likes for a week.

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chrisnjoesmom
by Adrienne on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:57 PM


Quoting lillybug222:

I teach 8th grade. I'm surprised they consider it an explosive. That being said, my bigger concerns would be:

--he did not listen to the teacher when he chose to throw more later.
--who his friends are (his friend brought them & also didn't listen to the teacher)

I'm not convinced that taking away technology is the solution here. Natural consequences seem to work best. He's kicked out of school. He'll likely get zero's on his assignments. If it were me, I would ask teachers for the work & require him to do it anyway--because his education is important & you don't want him to miss the information. Then, I would make his life miserable while on suspension. He would have a long list of chores/projects he would have to accomplish--you know, the big things--like cleaning out closets, junk drawers, play rooms, etc. he would be grounded as well, but not for months. I would give him the tablet & if it's in the initial grounding, he wouldn't use it. Then, he would earn back time with good behavior. I would also follow up with all of his teachers throughout January to see how his behavior is.

Thank you for the advice, especially coming from a teacher, I appreciate it.  I did talk to him about the "friend" and that if he is hanging around with kids who get into trouble, he is going to get into trouble, too, just like he did.   I need to follow up with these teachers.  I will set up a meeting for a week after they are back in school or so.

chrisnjoesmom
by Adrienne on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:59 PM


Quoting a_and_j_momma:

I think a few months is pretty extreme. Kids that age often don't think things through. My son is 11 too. When it is something I don't think he thinks about I make him write all the reasons it is not ok and do not give him clues. We then go over it and see what he missed and discuss...say they may think it is an attack, etc.

I then make him write apology letters and state why he is sorry in depth and why it was wrong....what he will do in the future.

I would also ground him from something he really likes for a week.

Something he really likes is tv, video games, etc.

I really like the idea of writing the reasons it is not ok and the apology letters.

sucker4myloves
by on Dec. 21, 2012 at 12:00 AM
1 mom liked this

I think your punishment is too extreme. Give him his tablet at Christmas, and replace his punishment with extra chores.

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chrisnjoesmom
by Adrienne on Dec. 21, 2012 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Ok so i guess a couple months is too extreme.  I think I will give him some time after going back to school to check with the teachers and then if he is doing well give it to him after.

pinkcoffeecup
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 12:47 AM

I'd keep the tablet.  Maybe give it to him on his birthday.  Get him something else for Christmas. This is a tough call. 

chrisnjoesmom
by Adrienne on Dec. 22, 2012 at 1:09 PM
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matreshka
by on Dec. 22, 2012 at 1:54 PM

I remember those things from school.  It seems the school was overreacting, IMO.  Anyway, I agree with the other posters about making sure who he is hanging out with in school, maybe setting up a meeting.  Give him the tablet for Christmas but don't let him off the hook, make him do some more chores and write a sincere apology to the teacher and principal.

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