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Help me convince my DH I shouldn't work PT!

Posted by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 2:39 AM
  • 62 Replies

So, DH wants me to work PT. I have school, an internship and I'm the primary caretaker of our DS and home. When I did work PT, nearly all of my money was spent on eating and daycare out bc I was exhausted after work, and all the work ate up any free time to do homework and housework. DH said he would help out. *snort* Puh-lease, this guy can't even pick up his socks, and hasn't cooked a meal in about 3 years. I love him dearly, but after nearly 7 years, he hasn't changed, and it's not fair for me to expect him too. Ladies, help me convince my DH I shouldn't be working, I already have enough on my plate, and my time is more effective at home. 

by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 2:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NocturnesAngel
by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 3:29 AM
4 moms liked this

Write down your schedule and show it to him.

Schedule in everything that you have to do at Home, as well as, School & your Internship.

Make a tally of the hours, plus what it would cost per hour to pay Someone Else to Do It(Daycare, Gas back & forth to daycare & work, etc, Cleaning Lady, Cook, etc.)

Just because you are a Wife & Mother you still get counted as an Hourly or Salary Recipient too,( tell him he has his choice: Hourly or Salary)


matreshka
by Platinum Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 7:38 AM
7 moms liked this

Your internship is a job, instead of being paid in cash you are being paid in college credit and job training experience.

AzariahsMother
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:13 AM
Well...

I would say maybe the 2 of you need to sit down and write out the pris and cons to you working.

Also maybe talk with DH on why he wants you to work. Maybe he is expecting something to happen at his job, or expecting a bill of some sort. I'm guessing more that none of this but to just to find out why he wants you to.

In the end maybe showing might be better then telling. Get the job and show him what happens when you work.
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michiganmom116
by Rhonda on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:30 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with above replies in that you need to write down your schedule as it is now and show it to DH.  You should also write down your budget and a projected budget if you return to work, and show him that working PT and paying for daycare and gas may not be the added income he thinks your PT job would provide.

You MAY be trying to convince yourself that you can't do it.  Is your internship full time?  If not and if your DH is worried about paying bills and needs you to work, I believe it's possible.  Twenty years ago I was going to school full time (3 nights a week...4 hrs. a night), working full time, taking care of a house and raising 2 boys by myself.  It can be done....it's all in routines and how you use your free time.  I started a load of laundry every morning before work....and put it in the dryer when I got home...took no more than 5 minutes to fold them after the kids went to bed.  I did my grocery shopping on lunch break or after work before heading home (easier and faster to do when I didn't have the kids along.)  I did my homework while the kids watched their evening TV shows.  Saturday mornings were spent doing meal prep/freezing meals for the next week.  Saturday afternoons (about 2 hours) were for cleaning...I kept the house neat during the week by just picking up after ourselves every night before bed (took no more than 15 minutes.)  Saturday evenings and Sundays were my own free time/family time.  I even gardened and canned the veggies.  No, I'm not Superwoman...I just did what had to be done.


funny_girl3
by on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this

The cost of daycare was enough to convince my husband.  Call around for some prices of good daycares in the area, then show them to your husband.

VintageWife
by Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Have you tried saying EXACTLY what you just told us?

Megan11587
by Megan on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:43 AM
3 moms liked this

If the money is needed, then you need to work. Sorry.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:47 AM
1 mom liked this
I am a single mom and I work full time plus school full time. Given I dont pay daycare anymore.. but it can be done if there is a need


Quoting michiganmom116:

I
agree with above replies in that you need to write down your schedule
as it is now and show it to DH.  You should also write down your budget
and a projected budget if you return to work, and show him that working
PT and paying for daycare and gas may not be the added income he thinks
your PT job would provide.

You MAY be trying to convince yourself that you can't do it.  Is your internship full time?  If not and if your DH is worried about paying bills and needs you to work, I believe it's possible.  Twenty years ago I was going to school full time (3 nights a week...4 hrs. a night), working full time, taking care of a house and raising 2 boys by myself.  It can be done....it's all in routines and how you use your free time.  I started a load of laundry every morning before work....and put it in the dryer when I got home...took no more than 5 minutes to fold them after the kids went to bed.  I did my grocery shopping on lunch break or after work before heading home (easier and faster to do when I didn't have the kids along.)  I did my homework while the kids watched their evening TV shows.  Saturday mornings were spent doing meal prep/freezing meals for the next week.  Saturday afternoons (about 2 hours) were for cleaning...I kept the house neat during the week by just picking up after ourselves every night before bed (took no more than 15 minutes.)  Saturday evenings and Sundays were my own free time/family time.  I even gardened and canned the veggies.  No, I'm not Superwoman...I just did what had to be done.



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kjbugsmom1517
by Member on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:52 AM
1 mom liked this
The cost of daycare alone isnt worth a part time job. Everything ya make goes to daycare. Show him what u save by not working. Unless u absolutely need it i wouldnt do it. My hubby wanted me to get a part time job when i started school and hes backed off a bit since we dont really need it. And what id make would go to a sitter.
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Megan11587
by Megan on Mar. 14, 2013 at 9:54 AM
2 moms liked this

I'm sure there are PT jobs available that work around her husband's schedule.  No sitter needed with those.

Quoting kjbugsmom1517:

The cost of daycare alone isnt worth a part time job. Everything ya make goes to daycare. Show him what u save by not working. Unless u absolutely need it i wouldnt do it. My hubby wanted me to get a part time job when i started school and hes backed off a bit since we dont really need it. And what id make would go to a sitter.


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