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Has anyone said something so judgy in your home?

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:16 AM
  • 25 Replies
1 mom liked this

18 Ways My Home After Having Children Is NOTHING Like I Imagined

by Jenny Isenman 

When Mark and I moved into our home, I was obsessed with making it fabulous. I painted it myself in hip hues. I placed unread books on bookshelves and organized them by color simply for the aesthetic. I set up little vignettes on counters in groups of three to make my home seem chic, yet warm, you know, a cross between make yourself comfortable and maybe you shouldn't touch that?

Yes, one day our home would be the perfect blend of comfy/zen/chic and people would gush upon entering and then complement it with gusto and envy. (At the very least it would be clean and organized.)

HA ha ha ha ha ha haaaa.   

I'm sorry, did I do that out loud? I was just remembering what I envisioned, you know before my kids and pets ... and husband ruined, stained, chipped, wrote on, or buried (under toys) everything I owned. Oh, and I had the time or energy to care.

We all had idealistic visions (do these sound familiar):   

The Dream (these are things I imagined people would say about my home):  

"Wow, how do you manage to have such a neat contemporary yet casual feel with young kids running around?"

"Your house is like walking into a Williams-Sonoma catalog."

"Where are all the toys?"

"Are your kids home? Theyโ€™re so quiet."

"Your dog is so well trained, he just brought me a seltzer with a twist."

"How do you get your grout so clean?"

"You say you decorated this yourself, but you're a damn LIAR!"

"Your house is so clean ... I'm just gonna put my baby down and let her go."  

"Have you considered sending pictures to Architectural Digest?"


The Reality (things people have ACTUALLY said in my home -- and my inner monologue responses):  

"Wow, it seems like you get a lot of mail." (Yeah, I'm getting around to that.)

"Did your house come with those window treatments?" (Yes, I was gonna get new ones, but those were hung and all.)

"I think there's a Lego stuck in my foot." (Better you than me.)

"Jenny, you know there's a button missing from your tufted sofa cushion." (Just don't flip it over, cuz there's none left on the other side.)

"You have a ping-pong table in your living room, that's quaint." (You know there's a pool table underneath ... wait, that might not make it better.)

"I love this piece of art, where is it from?" (Umm, my daughter -- circa kindergarten.)

"It's nice to know I'm not the only one with so much stuff." (Is it?)

"Wow, a wall radio? I haven't seen one of those in years ... does it work?" (Yes, it does. If you think that's impressive, there's one in the kitchen with a tape deck.)

"Do you happen to have a lint roller?" (Maybe my dog mauled you for the last 10 minutes, but that doesn't mean you get those precious strips of tape.)

"What a fabulous floor-plan." (Which is the equivalent of trying to fix someone up and using the word โ€œniceโ€ as their blind date's main selling point.)  

Look ladies, I do my best. Frankly, you should be thankful your hand didn't get stuck to the the refrigerator door, or your foot didn't get caught in a pile of laundry, which you started to sink into like quicksand, and had to be rescued from when I heard your muffled screams and saw only your fingertips waving ... because that's happened before.  


I think many of us Moms envisioned these perfect abodes, and like me ... they got them. My house may be filled with once nice pieces of furniture and toys busting out of the seams, but it's also filled with a ton of love -- and it is truly perfect.    

I know I got a little sappy on you there. Let me correct that, if you come over and judge my home, I'll make sure my sofa eats your watch! (That's better.)  

Spill: Does this sound familiar? Has anyone said something so judgy in your home that you wanted to steal their watch?

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 10:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:12 AM
I love this. Sometimes I finally get caught up, I can suddenly breathe, the laundry was actually put away (!), and it feels like such a miracle. Because all that work will be completely undone by the kids and dh in a matter of hours. Sigh.
by Dawn on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:19 AM
I had a former friend say our home was uninviting with our security cameras and curtains closed. I told her that her house was to hot and miserable. I would love to have mine more organized, eventually.
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by 80sTardisGirl4Gore on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:44 AM

when there are happens and if people cant deal with it...then they can stay out lol...

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:50 AM

I think the worst comment we ever got was "wow, ferrets do really smell as bad as people say"  i had been sick for a week by that point and still couldn't smell, i had no clue the ferret cage even smelled.

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:52 AM

Every time my older brother comes over he ALWAYS has something "judgy" to say.....which he has NO room to say anything so I just brush it off and keep going.  He is a man of few words and many times those words are NOT the right ones.....ugh!

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:55 AM

Yes someone said that our relatively clean and safe enough place was not safe enough to bring their special snowflake over too.  Yet I doubt their home is so perfect either.   

by Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:16 PM
My in-laws, mostly mil pretty much sticks her nose up at our house. She thinks it isn't good enough for us. In fact, they refused to come here for Christmas.

It is our first home and it needs some work, nothing major but mostly cosmetic. Like it needs a new paint job on the outside and we want to do hard wood laminate in our house because we have super ugly carpet. However, we closed on the house on july 30th and they made us move out of the mil suite we were in on the 4th. We barely had time to do anything to the house or money because then his parents came up with a bunch of lame ass excuses of why they needed more money.

Oh and they didn't even help us move. They sat in their yard watching my whole family and all of our friends helping us move. It was beyond rude.

Sorry, rant over. Lol. Anyways, that is the worst anyone has said.
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by Ruby Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:31 PM
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Sure I get comments that may seem judgy.  I take them for what they're worth.  Sometimes it does point out something in my house that needs attention, something that I'm not aware of because I'm in the house most of the time.

by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:58 PM
The only thing my daughters always complain about is the way I constantly fix my pillows on my sofa,and I always wiping off my tables. They say I make them uncomfortable,and they feel unwelcomed. I hate junk,I can't stand to look at a mess. I tell my daughters,by now they should be used to my ways in my ome.
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 1:34 PM
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 My mom use to walk thru my house and make a clicking noise with her tongue.  It use to drive me nuts.  Then one day when she was complaining about money and credit cards.  I made the comment that we had no credit cards.  Everything we owned beside the mortage was paid off.  She never did that again.


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