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Frugalistas Frugalistas

Well, there goes THAT Tax Return (Vent)

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:21 AM
  • 24 Replies

For those that dont know, DH has caused a bit of drama and long story short, had a court date yesterday. He got out of court at 11 am and said everything looked good, that a continuation was filed for a trial date in September. Great, then we at least have some more time to financially prepare (according to what he told me). Then yesterday afternoon he got up and went outside to make a phone call and came back in and told me we had to go pay the lawyer $2600 right NOW to keep the ball rolling. DH is pretty dramatic and probably didnt even think to ask if there could be installments paid or anything, in his black and white mind it was pay now or go to jail.

I was livid. On one hand, yes, we were able to go and cut a check and be done with it, but on the other, he had told me his parents had helped with the lawyer fees (to the tune of five grand), so I just dont understand at all why it couldnt have just been invoiced if they had indeed already covered so much money. I'm pretty convinced dh just didnt even ever talk to them about it (hence the going outside to have the conversation).

I guess I am just so frustrated because it feels like every time we ever get ahead, we get knocked back down again.

 I hate the drama and the irresponsibility that even caused this mess in the first place. I'm trying so hard to stay compassionate and to not be a total bi*** about all this- whats done is done and I dont want more strain on the relationship. But I'd be lying if I didnt say that the Resentment Meter is pretty high this morning while I sit and go through all our finances again. The only reason we had that money was the tax refund, and I had already gone through our plans for spring and had things figured out where we actually looked in pretty good shape on paper! Clothes for the kiddos (ds has holes in all his jeans, the little ones grow fast), the dog is due for her annual shots, excise taxes and registrations and all the other things that come up through spring that I usually have taken care of thanks to that money.Savings, paying off a good chunk of debt, etc. In the back of my mind the possibility of needing to come up with some money to go towards the stuff with DH was there of course, but the sudden news of having to do it right then just totally threw me off.

So, back to square one. I should know by now not to feel secure about things, stuff just always comes up. And wouldnt you know, on the way home from dropping the checks off, my brakes started squeaking really loud. Typical!

Sorry this is so long, I think I just needed to vent. :/

by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
michiganmom116
by Rhonda on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:28 AM

My dear, I SO understand!  We have been floundering like that for YEARS.  DH worked his butt off last year, made $8K more than the year before, and so much crap happened that we're worse off now.  You KNOW I live frugally, so we didn't blow it.  It's just ER bills for my accident last November, legal fees due to something that I just found out yesterday was totally bogus, serious car repairs, growing teens needing new clothes, weather related damages, and my car was totaled almost 3 weeks ago.

katherinemcp
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Ugh! I am trying to tell myself the money came for a reason (it was the exact amount we had to pay), but its so frustrating, which you competely know. Cant we all just get ahead a little!?

Quoting michiganmom116:

My dear, I SO understand!  We have been floundering like that for YEARS.  DH worked his butt off last year, made $8K more than the year before, and so much crap happened that we're worse off now.  You KNOW I live frugally, so we didn't blow it.  It's just ER bills for my accident last November, legal fees due to something that I just found out yesterday was totally bogus, serious car repairs, growing teens needing new clothes, weather related damages, and my car was totaled almost 3 weeks ago.

 

DawnPratt23
by Dawn on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:33 AM
1 mom liked this
The 5 grand was most likely retainer and this was the fee just for this time. My hubby got in trouble with some other soldiers 4 yrs ago. With my legal backgrpund I got the cost down to 431., however for him to get it off his record next yr it will probably cost us. Criminal legal matters cost quite a bit.

Your hubby needs to grow up or in my honest opinion he can sink on his own. Mine just texted he forgot lunch, and to bring it to him. Good luck.
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katherinemcp
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:38 AM

 I'm hoping honestly thats what the money was for, it would be better than DH telling me they helped when they actually didnt. He cycles through being really awesome and responsible but then when the Irresponsibilty Train hits, it hits hard. :/

Quoting DawnPratt23: The 5 grand was most likely retainer and this was the fee just for this time. My hubby got in trouble with some other soldiers 4 yrs ago. With my legal backgrpund I got the cost down to 431., however for him to get it off his record next yr it will probably cost us. Criminal legal matters cost quite a bit. Your hubby needs to grow up or in my honest opinion he can sink on his own. Mine just texted he forgot lunch, and to bring it to him. Good luck.

 

katherinemcp
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:47 AM

Not to mention that after all our normal bills clear we have $89 in our checking account until  next pay day (its just one week). We have a little bit in savings but I am determined not to touch it, Our DS is going to be so disappointed though because it means putting off a special date I had promised him (just a mommy day without his other sibs). We can totally make it a freebie trip to the library or something but he has been begging for a trip to the movies and I am so tired of putting him off. Womp womp.

DawnPratt23
by Dawn on Feb. 27, 2014 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this
This effects your entire family and I wouldnt let him call the shots on this. Legally you are just as responsible for this debt as a married couple. If he wants to make big payments then he should pick up another job to make the difference up. Id even get another bank account separate from his for the family.

Quoting katherinemcp:

 I'm hoping honestly thats what the money was for, it would be better than DH telling me they helped when they actually didnt. He cycles through being really awesome and responsible but then when the Irresponsibilty Train hits, it hits hard. :/


Quoting DawnPratt23: The 5 grand was most likely retainer and this was the fee just for this time. My hubby got in trouble with some other soldiers 4 yrs ago. With my legal backgrpund I got the cost down to 431., however for him to get it off his record next yr it will probably cost us. Criminal legal matters cost quite a bit. Your hubby needs to grow up or in my honest opinion he can sink on his own. Mine just texted he forgot lunch, and to bring it to him. Good luck.

 

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AzariahsMother
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 11:48 AM

Sending you lots of hugs 

Mrs.wilcox01
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 11:52 AM
What did he do? You ate a bigger person than me. I would be telling him to start selling all his fun things to pay for it. Why should the family go without because of him? Hugs
katherinemcp
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 11:57 AM
Thanks.

Quoting AzariahsMother:

Sending you lots of hugs 

AzariahsMother
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 12:00 PM

Welcome and I really hope it does get better for you. 

Quoting katherinemcp: Thanks.
Quoting AzariahsMother:

Sending you lots of hugs 

 

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