Finances are only one thing to talk about before moving in with someone. Do you agree?
First come loves, then comes...marriage? Not usually. Today most couples live together before they decide to tie the knot. They do this for all sorts of reasons, and while love might be one of them, others are a little well, less romantic..
A study conducted by
Rent.com found that of the 27% of couples who moved in with their
partner after dating for less than six months, only 7% would tell others
to do the same. To state the obvious, that's because living with
another person is challenging. If you are about to hand over your spare set of
keys in perpetuity, here are some things you need to talk about if you
want your relationship to survive.
Above all else, you need to think about your future together. Sarah
Wright, a board member of the group Unmarried Equality says that these early conversations are
crucial. "It's a good time to talk about the goals of the relationship, whatever
they may be," she says. It's important to see what state your relationship is
in, she adds, saying, "treating it as a patient, ask yourself, what are your
goals for care?"
1.) WHY You're Moving in Together
What's the reason behind the big move? Is it to save money? I hear this a lot living in New York. Sure, my co-habitating friends love each other, but they reaaaallly love not having to pay rent all on their own. That's all well and good, but if that's the case, both parties need to know what they are entering into. If one person thinks they are on the fast track to marriage and the other just thinks they are full-speed ahead in terms of paying off their credit card bill, that could present a problem.
Because for some, moving in together is a litmus test of their relationship's longevity. Better to live with someone, realize you don't want to spend the rest of your life with them, and then call it off than have to go through a messy divorce later on when your dollars and your lives in general are even more entwined.
2.) Finances Are Key
If you're moving in together, certain things, like equal payment of rent, can be a given. But what about all those other household necessities like paper goods, groceries, and the like? Living with a significant other isn't like living with a random roommate. Talking about whose money is going where is important. Finances were the biggest issue couples polled in the Rent.com study pointed to.
3.) Household Chores
Just because your other half isn't a stranger doesn't mean you won't get pissed if he NEVER does the dishes or takes a turn vacuuming or emptying the trash. Don't bottle this stuff up -- work out who does what and save yourself from a dumb fight!
4.) Make Your Needs Known
Sure, you love being around your partner -- that's why you want to share a home for the foreseeable future. But no matter how much you love someone, you might not want to spend every minute together. Tell him what you need -- be it a girls' night out or some silent couch time watching bad reality TV. Communicating and expressing yourself are fundamental to living well together.
What was the most surprising challenge you found when moving in with someone for the first time?