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my husband is dying

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:51 AM
  • 20 Replies
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my husband has stage 3 esophogeal cancer, he was diaganosted 2 weeks before we were forced to take full custody of our 1 & 4 y.o. grandchildren(drugs) now my husband can't work and we need a vehicle big enough for us all. right now we have a single cab pick up.we live as frugally as possible, so any of you wonderful women know what to cut down not only to get a car but the upcoming funeral of the love of my life.

by on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:51 AM
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virginiamama71
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 11:02 AM
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Is he under the care of hospice? They should know about preparing for the funeral.

For the Grandchildren foster care would know about resources in the area that can help.


HUGS

baconbits
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 1:38 PM
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There is money out there to help with raising your grandkids. Talk to childrens services. We are raising 3 of our grandkids and there is a monthly subsidy that helps plus they have a medical card which is fantastic. At 1 & 4 you need to get them on WIC which helps out as well. As far as a veichle let it be known among family & friends and you might just find someone willing to trade or even give you a great deal. When our minister totaled his SUV they didn't have a lot of money other then the insurance money to buy a new one. We were going to trade ours in on our new one but decided instead to sell it to them for less then what they got from insurance but ended up being the same amount they were going to be giving us in trade in. It still ran great but had lots of miles. Matter of fact they've been driving it for 2 years now! It had almost 250,000 miles on it when we sold it to them.

Deshonsmommy
by New Member on Jan. 26, 2017 at 10:58 PM
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Oh my goodness I am so sorry. I don't have any ideas because I am not sure how I can help since you said that you guys are already living frugally. hugs

Alieda
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2017 at 12:36 AM
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Was your hubby in the Service if so you can get some money nto have with the furnal , it not much around 200 but every little bit helps right.  SO sorry  you are going thoought this.

Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2017 at 5:09 AM

Oh no, I'm so sorry! Those grandkids will be a real blessing to you, hugs!

eyes4ears
by Member on Jan. 27, 2017 at 5:23 AM
Im sorry.
If you are already cutting back, I would've have other suggestions. Hugs.
elizabooks
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2017 at 8:01 AM
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I would suggest you go to the funeral home and look at options. Can you skip embalming? Do a natural funeral?
It all depends in what is available near you. What cemetery is your family plot in? If your family plot is full, you need to talk to the cemetery director and see if he can be placed near by.
Will the life insurance cover the medical bills?
Are the bills in your name? The house? The car? Does he have you listed as primary in his will?
Ate you on his insurance? If so see if it can transfer to you.
Depending in your ability, you might need to look at getting a live in nanny/ babysitter or roommate.
As for the kids, WIC and child swaps are a good start. What day care are they in? Do you work?
lucy1997
by Member on Jan. 27, 2017 at 8:38 AM

Cremation is a lot cheaper than a regular burial.  At this point I would start calling funeral homes and discussing options.  After he passes, you will be very emotional which could end up costing you more.  Emotions and spending often go hand-in-hand.  Consider having a shorter viewing time as this is often charged by the hour.  I would also encourage you to start jotting down notes for his obituary.  These can get very pricey as well.  The shorter it is and the less time you have it in the paper, the cheaper it will be.  Does he have life insurance? Are his finances in order?  Is there a will in place?  Hospice can be a great resource in helping direct you with these things.  

So VERY sorry you are going through this.  Hugs.   

cdb7519
by Member on Jan. 27, 2017 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this
Sometimes I see ads in Craigslist offering a vehicle for trade. You could specify that you will accept a van or something with lots of seating. Here are a few tips I know that work to save money.
Unplug all electronics and small appliances when not in use.
Use a drying rack or clothes line instead of dryer. I still use the dryer for comforters but this alone has saved me $25/month.
Combine coupons with sales.
Cut up worn out towels to use instead of paper towels.
KateHorrell
by New Member on Jan. 27, 2017 at 10:01 AM

Check with your county and/or state about benefits for caring for your grandchildren.  Apply for Women, Infants and Children (WIC) and SNAP (food stamps) ASAP.    There may be some legal steps that need to happen to help you get the right benefits for them.  In addition, if you caring for them, it will affect your social security benefits after your husband dies, so get that sorted out quickly.

Check with local foods banks.  In addition to food, they may be able to  point you towards other resources you may not have considered.

Put out the word amongst your friends, family, and community that you need a larger car.

Bless you for taking on these babies.  I am sure it is quite a shock if you haven't had small ones around in a few years.  You are amazing! 

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