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Should we really be bringing our children out so much ?

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:57 AM
  • 35 Replies

     I know that some people believe that bringing children with Autism out in public more often will help them be able to function more normally, but maybe that should depend on how your childs development is going. Before and a little after my son was diagnosed I  had brought him out quite often, he always had really bad painful meltdowns from sensory stimulation, it was horrible for him .Plus he was not using language to communicate. A little while later a thought came into my head. Imagine being out in the ocean and not knowing how to swim. All of a sudden some one throws you overboard and makes you try to figure it out , in that moment ,how to swim. When they do finally pull you back in because they realise your drowning , do you think you would have learned something from that situation or do you think you would be totally frighten of the water and untrusting of the person who threw you in? The fact that most of these children have a very hard time with communication, they cannot tell us what is making them in pain. The noise , brightlights, smells,ect. It is painful for them and they cannot tell us, No wonder they freak out and Meltdown. Their scared and they probably do not trust us as much as they once did. My point is.... maybe we should teach them how to swim first(communicate) before we throw them into the water(society). And what about the children who may never learn to swim , well maybe that needs to be taken more seriously , and for their own security maybe water should be avoided.

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jenn8604
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:15 AM
My son loves walmart. other places he does ok, but he loves going to walmart. he ignores things. i guess he can kinda "swim". but he doesnt talk. interesting thought. i guess hes not gonna drown.
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quietsmilie
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:18 AM

Interesting point of view.  I have always tried to measure how much DS can take and avoid going way beyond what he can handle (if possible).  It's hard to strike a balance between providing the opportunity to learn and grow and completely overwhelming him.

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:39 AM

Interesting but I think it is important for them to learn to function and to be social with people in the community even if it's just being near them.  they can't stay home their whole lives.

mallowcup17
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 9:01 AM

i think a fair balance is needed but social and life skills need to be learned and part of that is being out with others and if we kept our kids home then how would we raise awareness? it would be a hidden thing again like it was when children were institutionalized and i think that is a step backwards

Haha_ma
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 11:00 AM


Quoting aidensmomma508:

Interesting but I think it is important for them to learn to function and to be social with people in the community even if it's just being near them.  they can't stay home their whole lives.

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ROGUEM
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:18 PM

I am struggling with this right now.  I always try to do everything first and for most for my child's best interest.  My son is sometimes  in pain when surrounded by stimuli of public places. During those moments is not learning social skills or appreciating the scenery.  He is in pain and freaked out. My son can communicate and so he will say " I don't want to go to the movies. It hurts my ears and my head"  Now do I force him because I don't want him to be isolated, and do I make him go because that is what the world thinks he should do?  I will admit I am slowly forcing him to go to more places, but usually I feel bad doing it.   I really don't know if I am doing the right thing.  I have forced him to go to 2 places lately and he looked at me with confusion about why I am making him do this.  It kinda broke my heart. When children get older (my son will be 8 in two months) and they are able to express their wants and needs it is harder to justify doing it for their own good like you do a 2 or 3 year old.  When your child says the words  "Mom it hurts"  can you honestly say  what is right and what is wrong.

dezandry
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:30 PM

interesting pov. I  think to a point it is true, but if we limit where we take our kids we can never teach them if we don't expose them or at least transition them slowly. It's a matter of finding what works best for your child and how they learn. Every child learns differently and responds to certain situations and things in their own unique ways, even if they are the "typical" child. Its all trial and error. Like for instance, when I was taking my son first to disneyland we established a routine and mapped our way through the park and the rides, I explained to him what was coming up and the order we did things. Sure the crowds and parades were a bit overwhelming and yes he had meltdowns, but when he knew the rewards and got through the waiting/transition he loved it. It took him awhile to learn. It helps my son when I explain to him the plans for the day, what we are doing, and what I expect from him like a few rules and consequences if he breaks them. I have him repeat the rules so he knows and he reminds himself now not to do these things. I think that communication takes a mixture of teaching them at home and alone and also with society and their peers as well as people, it is how they learn to be a part of society and it will be easier to teach them while they are young rather than when they are older and isolated from the general public. good question though.

RockinMama0608
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:36 PM

I think parents should judge how their child reacts when going out.  For example, I know Will does not like overly crowded places so we avoid shopping on weekends or before holidays.  If I have to go, we will go early in the day when less people are out. 

I do not think kids who are special needs should be trapped in a house all day.  As parents, we need to introduce new things into our child's world.  We just may have to modify it a little bit.  =)

dezandry
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:40 PM

exactly, you adapt to things to fit your child's needs. Also you can find places that work better, certain stores, or even parks that are more suited for your child's needs and also times that are less crowded. I mean even I avoid certain places during certain times a day or even holidays, or worse shopping on black friday. ahhh. there are so many options where and when to take children out.

Quoting RockinMama0608:

I think parents should judge how their child reacts when going out.  For example, I know Will does not like overly crowded places so we avoid shopping on weekends or before holidays.  If I have to go, we will go early in the day when less people are out. 

I do not think kids who are special needs should be trapped in a house all day.  As parents, we need to introduce new things into our child's world.  We just may have to modify it a little bit.  =)


thatgirl70
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 2:56 PM

I have to agree with the replies. You can't shelter them always. I mean you know your child, you know how much they can take. But the more exposure to something, the better they are able to handle something. Like with my son, he has sensory issues with sound. But I try to expose him to more and more things so that they don't bother him so much. Case in point: hand dryers. They used to freak him out whenever he heard one come on. Now he will actually go up to them and turn them on himself. He's been exposed, it doesn't bother him anymore. He still has sensory issues, but little by little he might overcome them and that's because I don't keep him sheltered. 

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