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Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:36 AM
  • 5 Replies

I got into a terrible fight with baby group I belong to on Facebook. They are mothers with normal children who baby are born in the same month and year as my son. They try to tell me I have nothing to worry about my son appointment tomorrow, but if they do diagnosis him that I should automatically get a second opinion. Their words were " you don't want that label on your child". I got mad and blew up. Label some with that is not a bad thing. It is a gift to be unique away of seeing the world uniquly. I am so freaking mad. They sat there and told me that aspergers is just a social thing that no toddler has any social cue. WTF! I have aspergers. I think I would know what it is. How dare they say it a bad thing, and call themselves to be my friends. Now, I know why I was blessed with this gift. I avoid people for a reason. I feel like I just got called sub pared, and to them my son might be subpar. 

I am sorry for ranting. I figured you gals would understand. Plus, I need to socialize.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:36 AM
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by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:04 AM

I had to leave my baby group on here because when I was in desperate need to of my friends and NO ONE was there.  I left my post up for a week and only 3 people said anything.  It hurt more than I can say and yes I was ticked off but hurt was a big part of it too.  I'm SO SORRY they said that to you!!  I wish I had magical words to make you feel better but I will say that we all here would never treat you like that.  You will always have a support system here.  Please keep us updated on what they say ok?  ((Hugs))

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 2:54 AM

Raising an Autistic child is NOT a walk in the park, it sucks 98% of the time! I cannot go out in public without my daughter having a meltdown or 2 or 3,and then there are the stares and VERY RUDE comments people mutter loud enough for you to hear,about how that kid needs a good spanking!

There is also the heart break you go through as a parent feeling helpless because even tho you you have explained to her a thousand times that a fly wont hurt her, you can't prevent her from having a melt down when she see's one. and there isn't anything you can do to help her understand.

So yea in a way they are right Autism is not a good thing,but like I said its only 98% of the time. I live for that 2% tho, my Daughter tells me at least 20x a day "I love you mommy"  I am a mother of 5 kids,3 grown 1 teenage boy and my Paisley I have never been as close to anyone as I am with my baby,I think we have a bond that no one else except a special needs mom could understand. I am grateful to God for choosing me to take care of one his special children. I wouldn't trade it for anything.Paisley is just perfect the way she is, it is the rest of the world that has the problem! arguing and fighting with "normies" will get you nowhere fast. just remember opinions are like________ everybody has one.. 


by Wendy on Sep. 14, 2011 at 7:40 AM

I don't really feel comfortable in the birth month/year group here on cafemom anymore, my son is so on another level it just upset me so I don't go there much anymore.  A label is what can get your child help, that is a good thing.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:01 AM

I am so sorry they made you feel this way.

My oldest has Aspergers and my twins have autism.  I am not embarrassed by this at all.  I would not change or cure my oldest if that was possible.  He is a better person for his Aspergers.  The NT children in his class are rude, judgemental, and followers.  I always think that Matthew acts like how God wants us all to act.  He see everything in right and wrong - he doesn't compromise his beliefs and make them gray.  He doesn't judge anybody on how the look or what they wear.  He doesn't lie.  He will talk and be nice to the lowliest person.  He prays for other people at age 11. He will grab my hand out in public and say I'm not embarrassed I love you.  He doesn't try to pretend to like anything to fit in.  He think logically.  He has no hidden motives and is not out for himself.

I think if more people behaved like this the world would be a better place.  Don't ever let anyone make you or your child feel sub-par.  People with Aspergers are closer to being a "good person"  than most NT could ever be.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 5:00 PM
I had to leave my group as well. When I would post "vents" they didn't get it. They kept giving me advice for a "normal" child, not that I don't appreciate their help. But they just didn't understand what I go through. I just felt like I didn't belong there because we have absolutely nothing in common so I found new friends here :)
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