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Potty Training Hell--Update

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:18 PM
  • 50 Replies

Thank you all for your replies below.  Thought I'd update this post.  In the 19 days since I started potty training my son, we've already had a lot of ups and downs.  At first, it seemed he was taking to it.  Then after a few days, he refused to do #2 in the toilet.  Now he's back to making #2 in the toilet, but I think is holding it in some of the time.  Like yesterday, he went #2 on the toilet in the morning, but not any other time.  Then this morning when I woke him up, he had poop in his diaper.  So he had probably been holding it in when I took him to the toilet the night before.  Ugh!  But at least he will sit on there, and goes some of the time.  I refuse to give up or "let him do it in his own time."  No offense to anyone who suggested that.  But if I let my son do things in his own time, he would never had made any of the gains that he has.  He'd still be fed baby food, completely nonverbal, unable to use his hands, etc.  He needs to be shown EVERYTHING in order to learn.  Not saying all kids w/autism are like that, but many are.  Which is why it's important for parents to be very earnest in teaching their kids.  OK.  Well, wish me luck.  We're continueing forward.  Don't expect him to be fully trainined anytime soon, but will keep working on it.   

Original post:

My son with classic autism turned 3 two wks ago and I began potty training on his birthday.  Well, let me just say, it has been 2 wks of hell.  I've read a couple books about potty training kids with autism, but none of the stuff is working.  At first he would at least go when I put him on there, but after a few days he started witholding #2.  He will sit on the toilet 30 minutes and not do anything, then as soon as I let him off, he goes into a corner and craps.  It is very frustrating.  Does anyone have any insights into this?  

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:25 PM


by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:32 PM

I am also walking in the valley of the shadow of death.  I will fear no potty.  But I sure do hate it. 

Nothing works.  Why can I potty train a dog but not my 7 year old.  I am feeling like a failure.  His teacher who also has a autistic child is stumped too.  He is just being defiant about it.  There is no reward that is working....I have read so many books, tried underwear, tried taking him every 30 minutes, I pray, I just don't know what to do.  Mine will hold it until he is supposed to be alseep and then go.  He tells me straight out he is not going to poop in the potty.  He is pee -pee trained....ughhhh I need a genie or a magic wand or a fairy godmother.  Maybe a bippy boppy boo would work.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:42 PM

I am not a fan of making potty training such a battel and uncomfortable for the child.  Potty traing seems to work better when you are working with the child, making it a pleasant experience for the child, you can not making them use the toilet so why fight with them, they have to be willing to do it.  I had  more success with my son when I put him on the toilet each hour, I set a timer and walked him to the toiltet and when he used the toilet I gave him a small cookie and praise. It took a while but anything else  created tears and failure.   Hugs. this is hard stuff.   My son is older and can tell me that he can not feel that he needs to go to the bathroom until it is too late.  I have had sucess with him becasue I have learned his daily routine to use the bathroom and I put him on the toilet at that time, for example. He always has a bm around 7 so I have him sit on the toiltet then, If I slip up then he will have an accident in his pants,  It is about learning their schedule and making it as pleasant as possilbe.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 2:57 AM

My daughter is 5 and a half still won't go on most toilets she has a big fear of them. I have learned that being a mom of a asd child you have to pick and choose your battles and I have also learned that we are the ones who need to learn how to live in their world, not the other way around. just ask God for the patience to handle it and when he is ready he wil let you know.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 5:05 AM

I wish I had a whole bunch of great super advice right  All I can do is tell you what worked with Dean.

He was 4 when he was potty trained.  I had tried at 2 and it about drove us BOTH crazy.  So I waited.   We got him those real little potties that you can take anywhere and we set it up in the livingroom infront of the tv and put cartoons on.  Then we put books, cars, toys all around him so he would be entertained while he sat there.  He would just sit on and off of it all day.  We let him get up and run around when he wanted to but then we would sit him back down and his dad would talk to him and read to him, pretty much anything to keep him sitting for more than 2  When he did go to the potty we DID NOT scream Good job,  we gave him hug and a high five and said in a normal voice how well he did and we were proud of him.  :)  My hubby took the majority of this on because I had to do work classes and that man had Dean AND Garrett potty trained in under a week.  :)  Let us know how it's going ok?  :)  Good luck!

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 6:42 AM

I wish I could give some helpful advice... just wanted to say you are certainly not alone.  My daughter is 5 and is not potty trained.  Every now and then she will go on her own, but it's not often.  We make such a big deal out of it too when she does.  And we do when we sit her down and she goes. But basically it is very inconsistent.  She wears pull ups during the day at school and wears cotton panties when she is home.  I know the cotton panties do a better job of telling her when she's wet vs. the pull ups but we can't have the mess at school, so she wears pull ups at school.   I just bought a book on potty training Autistic kids, I am hopeful that something in there will light up the light bulb for her.

   Jen Ouellette (momtojaimie)

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 1:00 PM

bump so she can get some more help and advice or least a hug.  :)

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 1:37 PM

 i have no advice. selena wasnt fully trained until 4.5 and we started at 3.5. my now 3 year old NT daughter is just as stubborn about it. she was doing it for quite a while then stopped. we are basically back at square one. i wish i had advice but i have none.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 3:32 PM


by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 3:40 PM

Two things, There is a video that is helping Paisley "Elmo's potty time" you can find it for under 10 bucks usually.Paisley watches it over and over and over lol

Also I don't know what anyone else's financial situation is but if you're like me the cost of pull-ups,diapers and that is too expensive.Our medical insurace covers the cost of my daughters pull-ups,under pads for the bed and wipes. so I don't have to.(maybe thats why I am so patient with her) check with your insurance to see if they cover it.

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