I'm a single parent to two teenage boys and my younger son has PDD. Between dealing with the everyday drama of my older sons teenage life, and trying to provide support and patience for my younger sons special needs I have nothing left for myself. I work full time and attend college online full time. I just am disappearing in my own life and cannot find others who understand the stress I go through, even my siblings are strangers to my stress!! I need to meet other single parents who go through the same types of stressors that I do and be understood by someone other than my boys. Does anyone else feel as though they're driving their own ship into the ocean floor?? I'd love to meet others who have problems similar to mine!
I said almost the same thing to my son't therapist the other day. I am lost in this Autistic world and it has consumed almost everything. She reminded me that we are working toward the day, hopefully, that my HFA ds can be on his own and THEN I will get some of my life back. But on days like today where I have already dropped my son off at school, then turned around an hour later to pick him up, and I am getting to pick up the pieces from his massive meltdown (and finish the school work he didn't destroy), I just want to sit and cry. Unfortunately, that won't solve anything. Just know that we are all in this with you. You are not alone.
Welcome!! :) To our family in here. :) You are not alone in how you feel honey. Do one thing everyday for yourself, even if it's small and seems silly to others, who cares, if it makes you feel better then do it. :) My name is Michelle and I have 3 boys, Dean is 6 and our Autistic one, Garrett is 5 and Jackson is 16 months. I'm so glad you found us! :)
I'm humbled! I try hard to not feel sorry for myself, but sometimes think it's not so wrong to feel sorry for yourself, or loss of yourself in caring for others. I tell myself that there are other people with bigger problems than mine, but sometimes that makes me feel worse, or more guilt!! In addition, I'm a psychology major and will obtain my bachelors degree next August. So, I can see how a parent can get down in life, and I know how to do things for myself, but it's a lot harder to do than to say. Anyhow, I appreciate the comments and if I could, would take a boat load of stress from all of you!! I'm happy I joined the group and will fight the fight, so to speak, and continue the journey along with all of my new friends on this site!! Thanks and hugs to you all!!
Amy Adair
My sister told me last week - I could have as many pity parties as I wanted, I just could not do it in front of Hunter. I don't think it's that we feel sorry for ourselves or our kids. I think we feel sorry that we can't "fix" it like our moms did for us when we were kids.
After my pity party today, Hunter informed me that he did not understand why I was so upset - he wasn't broken and didn't need to be fixed. From the mouths of babes (or in my case teenagers).
I am glad that I found this site today. It was just what I needed.
First of all, I must applaud you for doing what you do and being a single mom. I am married, but my DH is still in denial and I have to handle everything on my own and so I can sort of relate. I feel like I've lost who I am and I surely never get a break and my sister doesn't speak to anymore. The list goes on...
Yup, thats me. I have Aidan he's 5 and autistic.He stimms and repeats things. Then there's Tristan. My Tristan ...He is 7 almost 8.In 2nd grade.He has aspergers. He is really smart and talks like an adult.He reads at a 5th grade reading level. He reads for an hour at a time.If I let him he'd stay up all night reading.Which is good. The problem is his emotions. He's completly inflexible ad tears up the classroom.I had to go pick him up last week.He hits the teachers and other kids.Has meltdowns.He has gotten kicked out of after school classes and asked to not come to church daycares for safety to the other kids due to his blow ups. I finally have the schools support but when it comes to evaluations he is completly composed and fulls them.He metltdowns when it is loud and overstimulated so one on one evaluations don't work with him because he comes off as charming and smart and intelligent.Mean while at school it is a mom's nightmare to hear children are being removed from his class because the parents don't want them with him.He is finally getting a professional aid but he had to be a terror to get it and I don't know if any day there will be a problem. And did I mention my father in law says it's my fault he just isn't disiplined well? and my hubby doesn't believe he has aspergers he just think it's because he is really smart. I am trying to apeal a rejection from a therapy place that doesn't think he is bad enouph and I don't have the support of my other wise awesome husband. So I am between homework with both my autistic kids and life in general. What keeps me together? The fact that they light up when they see me and it could be sooo much worse.I was horrible the other day because I just ran out of patience and I have to let myself off the hook and start again the next day. I need to be a champion to them because if I don't they may fall threw the cracks..But allways about once a month I fall apart and then I call the people that tell me what a good mom I am and start over and let my self off the hook. Hope this helps.. I think just the fact that you know you are overwelmed meens you care and have to be a good mom. Bad moms don't think about it or ask for input.All my best...Warriormom
You know, the best part of being the parent of an autistic child is knowing that I'm not alone in my struggles to be a good parent!! I don't have any support, yet I go day to day because it's not an option! I wish sometimes that autism were a cold that would just clear up and go away, but reality says no! My son is 16 and takes an anti-depressant now. He has been so stressed about going back to school that he has depression now. Last year was especially rough because he was a freshman at a mainstream school and we all know how average teenagers are? Everyone is stereotyped! My younger son has never fit into any social groups, although I thank God for my older son to look after him somewhat. I wonder sometimes if my youngest will ever be able to leave home! He also gets teary eyed in school somedays, and that just makes me cry thinking about it! I feel your pain and think this group is for you! I know I sleep easier knowing that there are others who experience the pain of autistic stigma with their families and kids. I'm so happy to be a part of this group and feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'll say a prayer that things go smoother for your kids and want you to know you're not alone in your fight! So long as you do what's best for the future of your kids you succeed!! Welcome, and thanks for the response!! Prayers for you!!
I feel like a fish without flippers, out to sea without a boat, up the creek without a paddle...I have little ones (4 and 2) but also parent my 15 yr old sister, and my 27 yr old stepdd. I was once (not that long ago) a teenager myself LOL
I have found that the only ones who know what a meltdown is can understand what I go through daily. This group has become my saving grace.
My daughter has Autism. 
Autism DOES NOT have my daughter.
Welcome to the group. I am married but agree we all go through similar things. My kids are 5 and 4, and my 5 year old has autism. I know yours are teenagers, but we all are here to help each other..I write to help with my stress..
Stop licking me!!!!
- elismom95
on Sep. 24, 2011 at 10:52 PM