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uuugg

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 12:11 AM
  • 17 Replies

I am sooooo tired. I get depressed because we can't own anything, go anywhere. I cant even go to the Dr. because I Fallon cant be without me.  I have been in constant pain for months and now I have started having tremors.So I finley set a Dr. apt. I am so stressed about going to the Dr. tomarrow that I can't sleep eventhough Fallon kept me up all night last night.

I ask the older kids for help and they dont want to help with her any more than she wants them to help her. Everything is a massive battle. I ask my husban for help and he is at a loss for what to do. I tryed school, respit, therapies and all that was acomplished was she is now harder to deal with she is way more clingy  and she screams and melts down considerably more . Is this it? Am I the only one who can do anything? what about my other children? what about the baby who needs me? this isn't fair to anyone and I have no way of making things better.

all this and she is only 5

by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 12:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ROGUEM
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 12:25 AM

 I am so sorry.  I hope all goes well with the dr tomorrow.  My youngest son was exactly like that.  Nobody could even fix his drink but me when he was little. I finally just couldn't do it all, so I had to have my husband step up.  And first there were major meltdowns, but eventually he understood that this was the way it was going to be. It did get much worse durning the adjuestment period and then it got a lot better. He accepted it and then we started medication and it suddenly all clicked into place.

You are going to have to have your husband and older children step up to help you. Nobody will like it at first but they will all adjust to it.  You have to be able to take care of yourself. You are the glue that holds it all together. 

I will pray for you tonight. Please keep us posted after your appointment tomorrow.

Remember you can't do it all even though that is what has been happening. 

sunsign4u2
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 12:30 AM
Hugs Momma. It seems like you are your little girls rock and grounded person. For my son that's me too. You can do it all but only for a short period of time. You will soon give out and breakdown yourself if you don't make time for you. You may have to teach your husband what to do so you can have some time. Maybe get in touch with local support groups and ask around for qualified care givers that maybe able to watch her too.
I completly understand where you are coming from I was the one and only caregiver for my son for five years. Now I am blessed with a loving husband who helps me the best way he can.
Just remember your not alone and we support you.
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afeelya
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 1:20 AM

My husban is a loving caring husban and father He really just cant.

 Often times the older kids resent doing things with her and it turns into a battle. Ill ask  the 14 year old to dress her again (because she has undressed for the 15th time in the last 30 min and I am trying to do something) and ill hear Fallon screaming like some one is killing her so I go see whats up and she has her by the arm while fallons kicking trying to scramble away. so ill take the shirt and tell Fallon "Fallon, we need our cloths on. " at wich point she will stop walk over to me and let me put it on her. I have been trying for 2 years to get it to a point where ANYONE can do ANYTHING with her and the more I push the worse and harder to deal with she gets.

I had a respit worker I trained for 6months and we got it where she could watch her while Fallon slept but when they cut respit hours she had to get another job. No more me time at all.

I feel really selfish in considering medication for her to make things easier on me . I really am at a loss.

I know for taking a day to go to the DR I will then have to endure days of fallon being glued to me even more for fear I will go somewhere again.

CandyMoon
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 1:40 AM

My son was the same way when he was younger. He would not let anyone but me do anything for him. If he even saw anyone but me pour him something to drink, he would not drink it. And I felt like I was neglecting my two girls because all my time was spent doing things for him. I never had any time to do anything for myself either. Thankfully he is finally getting some help. He just turned 13 and I had him home for Thanksgiving and he is like a different child. There is hope, just hang in there and good luck to you.

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on Dec. 1, 2011 at 8:15 AM

((hugs)) I'm glad you are finally making time to go to the DR we have to take care of ourselves too! 

twins0506
by Holly on Dec. 1, 2011 at 10:07 AM

hugs! i know how hard it can be. my boys only want ME to do stuff for them. they always want ME to hold them. they cry when i leave the house or when i get out of the car to run in the store real quick. the only time i get a break is when they are in school. i hope everything goes well at the doctor.

afeelya
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 7:18 PM

update: the DR is sending me to two specalists. a gyno and a nero.. I figured that. They have no idea what it could be after all the tests were in. they are saying there is a strong possability I am going to have a hysterectomy. :/ glad i am dome having kids. ...sigh.....

 

afeelya
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 7:20 PM

BTW thank you all very much for your support. It means more to me than I can express with words.

mallowcup17
by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 9:55 PM

((hugs)) im glad you got to the dr and i hope it all works out and you start feeling better!

isotoner
by Bronze Member on Dec. 2, 2011 at 6:22 AM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting ROGUEM:

 You are going to have to have your husband and older children step up to help you. Nobody will like it at first but they will all adjust to it.  You have to be able to take care of yourself. You are the glue that holds it all together.  

 ROGUEM is right.  The others, especially your husband, have to step up whether they like it or not because of your health.  You can't do this unless you're healthy.  Good luck and keep us posted.

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