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how to discipline a child with spectrum disorder?

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:51 PM
  • 17 Replies
2 moms liked this

I'm having a hard time disciplining my son.nothing seems to work.do you all have any suggestions?

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nicksmom217
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:01 PM

  i don't know how old is your child. with my son, yelling, screaming not going to work. when he is being aggressive, i hold him or let him go to his room to cool of. then, when he is calm, i explain to him what he did or said wrong. if your child is little, visual cards or pictures some times work, to explain thing, right behavior.

ROGUEM
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:04 PM

 How old is your son?  What is his level of functioning?  Also what  have you tried? 

Sorry for the questions, but I have 3 children with autism and their age and level of functioning play a large role in how I discipline their behaviors. I don't want to advise you wrongly without enough info.

HUGS

Michelle

cynthia256
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 10:11 AM

My son will be 5 next month.He only functions as a 2yr old.He talks very little.I've tried time-out and taking toys away.

ROGUEM
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 8:01 PM
1 mom liked this

 I would ask myself if he knows or can understand right from wrong.  I have twins and one understands it very well and chooses sometimes to do what he wants even though he knows it is wrong.  My other twin doesn't understand, but he can be taught to do certain things and not to do others.  He does it because it becomes a ritual not because he understands the why of what he is doing.

Time outs don't usually work for ASD children because they like to be by themselves and can amuse themselves.  Spanking are also out because they learn if someone does something I don't like then the appropriate behavior is to hit them. 

If he is higher functioning then I would start a token or reward system along with a consequence.  High Functioning children have favorite activities or items and don't like to lose them.  NO tv or computer worked with Jonathan when he was younger.  I would also really praise him and give him a sticker when he did the correct behavior. He learned very quickly that 5 stickers = a toy.  If your child doesn't have a favorite toy or food or activity then he may not be HF enough to really discipline. Stephen doesn't love anything that much because his functioning level is low.  He likes things, yes, but doesn't get very upset if you take them away.  He is more like - okay that is gone, I will go over here and just look out the window. 

If your son is lower functioning then you will have to say over and over what he is not supposed to do. Say it in very simple words. Take his hands and lead him or show his the correct way to do it.  Ex.  Stephen is LF and doesn't really understand.  He like to turn his TV to 99 volume.  It is soooo loud and I am afraid he is going to hurt his ears and it disrupts Jonathan whose room is next door.  So I would go in there take his hand lead him to the TV and make him turn it down to a  lower volume.  I had to do this probably 100 x but I was always consistent and made it be the same lower number and I said the same thing to him  every time.  Finally he got it.  Not because he thought it was too loud or that it was wrong, he did it because it became a ritual.  He knew 61 was the right volume number.

What I am trying to say is - if your child is high enough functioning to understand right from wrong then yes he should be disciplined.  If his understanding is lower then he should not be disciplined but rather redirected to the correct behavior.  And after repetition he will learn it. 

Hope this Helps!

cynthia256
by on Dec. 5, 2011 at 12:31 AM

Thanks for the advice.I really appreciate it.

My son is like your boy Jonathon. He is not attached to anything.

He only says really simple words.Thats the hardest part cause he can't tell me what he needs or wants or if he is hurt.He has a very high tolerance for pain,which is very scary.

cynthia

BrownMommy
by on Dec. 5, 2011 at 1:29 AM

I wonder about this too

cryhansen
by on Dec. 5, 2011 at 9:09 AM

So now my question is, my son Vinny is 7 and HF. Time outs kinda work for him, but he thinks that everyone/everything in the house has to be silent for him to do this though. We have tried the take away approach and he just knows that as soon as mom leaves for work and Gramma is here, he gets it back (no matter how much we tell Gramma to not do, she refuses to listen, but if free childcare). When it isn't silent and someone speaks, he throws a fit. What else could we do? If we try to put him into his room alone, he freaks out that way too. If we do a time out in a room that is adjacent to the one we are in where he is alone but we can still see him, he freaks out. He doesn't like to be alone.

ROGUEM
by on Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:43 AM

 If you think time outs work and the only problem is that he wants everybody silent, then I would continue the time outs and buy a quality pair of headphones the deafen all sounds.

My son has a pair.  They are shooting range headphones and you can't hear anything when they are on.  He is very scared of thunder and wears them and they block it out.  When I have them on, I can't even hear people talk right next to me.

I really believe there is always a way to make it work, we just might have to turn into Martha Steward meet sMacGuyer to do it...LOL

Quoting cryhansen:

So now my question is, my son Vinny is 7 and HF. Time outs kinda work for him, but he thinks that everyone/everything in the house has to be silent for him to do this though. We have tried the take away approach and he just knows that as soon as mom leaves for work and Gramma is here, he gets it back (no matter how much we tell Gramma to not do, she refuses to listen, but if free childcare). When it isn't silent and someone speaks, he throws a fit. What else could we do? If we try to put him into his room alone, he freaks out that way too. If we do a time out in a room that is adjacent to the one we are in where he is alone but we can still see him, he freaks out. He doesn't like to be alone.

 

ROGUEM
by on Dec. 5, 2011 at 10:48 AM

 I make social stories for the boys.  I will post a story about them - Look for it I will call it What are Social Stories and how to use them to correct behaviors.  I believe they are great for HF and LF chilren alike.  They explain behavior in a way they can understand.  I think you should make some for the behaviors you want to correct, and any time he does it, get the social story out and read it with him.  It will make him understand much much faster this way.  Our children are visual learners.  We can talk til we are blue in the face with little or no response, but can show a picture and they know what we want.

HUGS

Quoting cynthia256:

Thanks for the advice.I really appreciate it.

My son is like your boy Jonathon. He is not attached to anything.

He only says really simple words.Thats the hardest part cause he can't tell me what he needs or wants or if he is hurt.He has a very high tolerance for pain,which is very scary.

 


 When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you're slamming the door in the face of God.  ~Charles L. Allen

http://www.cafemom.com/group/112775

princess_1983
by on Dec. 5, 2011 at 12:35 PM

Tapping my son's leg (a lite spank on his leg) works for my 3 year old most of the time.

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