Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Meltdowns & Tantrums 101: Share Stories, Frustrations, Tips, and Advice

Posted by   + Show Post

Members of our wonderful group have posted many personal stories about meltdowns, offered helpful tips, reached out to each other for support and shared helpful information and resources.

Get started with these 5 tips then click below to find more:

1. Be Proactive

~ Use these tools to stop meltdowns before they begin: Take note of what triggers meltdowns so you can avoid those places/behaviors/situations, set a schedule and explain expectations to your child, be clear about consequences.

2. Use Distraction

~ Try to head off tantrums before they occur by distracting your child with something they like -- a book or favorite toy, a calming exercise or game.

3. Pick your battles

~ If your child is in a safe place, sometimes allowing the meltdown will help it end sooner.

4. Ignore others

~ Public tantrums can be particularly frustrating.  The best thing you can do is focus on your child and what you need to do for them and ignore everybody else.

5. Use rewards

~ Encourage good behavior with a rewards program.

Click here to find even more tips and advice for handling tantrums and meltdowns, or share your own in the replies below!

Need advice on a specific issue?  Start a post to share your story and receive support!

by on Dec. 15, 2011 at 7:56 PM
Replies (121-127):
Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Nov. 16, 2013 at 10:22 PM

It's great that you're getting more in tune with your daughter's moods, etc.  

Since my son hasn't really had these sorts of melt downs I don't have any advice for you, but if you start a new post here in the group, other members will see your questions and may be able to offer some suggestions.

Quoting Veritysmom:

I'm beginning to recognize my dd's signs of getting overwhelmed, which seem to be happening ANY time we are preparing for something(be it school, dinner, bathtime, bedtime or a trip) she just can't handle it. She procrastinates, yells, kicks, says mean things and it gets to the point where I'm ready to cry because I know she's doing this not because she doesn't *want* to listen, but because she doesn't want change...and often changes neither of us can do anything about! She has to go to school. She has to go to therapy. She has to go to her dads house. She has to bathe. It's heartbreaking how often we struggle and it's really had a toll on our relationship. Lately I've just been picking her up and putting her on her bed, explaining she has a choice between getting ready or sitting in her room until she's ready and walking away. Yet then she'll stand in her doorway saying mean things('I'm going to slap you' etc) It's really wearing me down. I'm doing everything her therapist says to do but it's making no head way. I've even tried starting earlier so we won't be in a rush to get there and somehow that has made it so we're even later! What else can I possibly do to fix this? I am so tired of being late and getting screamed at.


Nwhite26
by Member on Nov. 20, 2013 at 5:10 PM


I think this idea, but can you give some examples? My son is the same way and I'd love to know how I could avoid/or help the situation to make everyone happy. Thanks! :)

Quoting 2puzzlepieces:


Quoting tldle:

For some reason, I seem to set my 9 year old off when I have to correct him. He cannot stand for his errors to be pointed out, but I have to correct him. For example, when he gets right in his brothers face and speaks in a mean tone, I quickly told him to back up. He quickly spiraled into an anxious meltdown even when I spoke calmly to him. This is a consistent problem. How do I train him in a way that is effective and appropriate without causing meltdowns? I feel like I am on eggshells   

It sounds like your boy is telling you he needs positive parenting.  I don't think correction is necessary to teach right from wrong in most cases, especially with our kids.  I'm not talking about sickeningly sweet, never say no because you might scar your poor child for life parenting.  I just mean that we need to be creative about teaching them correct behavior and give ourselves permission to avoid conflict.  The typical child's parent might consider it cowardice to redirect their child instead of confronting and correcting them.  I consider it self-preservation. One way I will be constantly stressed, afraid to go anywhere, walk on eggshells and he still won't learn anything.  The other I have at least a fighting chance at teaching him how to behave and I get to preserve my sanity (well, more than the other option anyhow).  I've read a couple of Kevin Leman's books and the main thing I take away from them is that disciplining a child doesn't mean punishment.  Disciplining them is done BEFORE the offense.  With our kids it means looking for teaching moments and taking advantage of them or creating them if necessary.   



Cyndyplus4
by New Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:48 AM

I have a three year old with no speech. Her meltdowns have gotten so much better and short lived in this past year but now it is getting harder because she will throw a fit before she even shows me what it is she wants. I try to push her to show me or communicate with me and it sometimes makes it worse. I make her go to her room and that has helped but it can go on for atleast 3 to 4 melt downs until she shows me what she wants. How do I get her to communicate first? 

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jan. 12, 2014 at 3:28 PM

Be consistant with her.  It sounds like she is getting the idea and I think communication will continue to improve with time.

Quoting Cyndyplus4:

I have a three year old with no speech. Her meltdowns have gotten so much better and short lived in this past year but now it is getting harder because she will throw a fit before she even shows me what it is she wants. I try to push her to show me or communicate with me and it sometimes makes it worse. I make her go to her room and that has helped but it can go on for atleast 3 to 4 melt downs until she shows me what she wants. How do I get her to communicate first? 


sunshine776
by New Member on Jan. 29, 2014 at 9:24 AM
My sons meltdowns have got more severe as he gets older. he now trys to hit me and kick me and throw things. He started a new medicine last week. i really hope it helps him.
bigsisteranna
by New Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 2:35 AM
I have a sister who autistic and she some time get aggresive so I understand though she is older her mind set is not, so when she get this way I do this I take her hand and rub the top of it. When I rub it I say the words; No giving her the sign she did wrong without hurting her or scaring her and it works.
This has been going on since she was little and now she is 24.
Zenchi
by New Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 9:46 PM

Oh were to start im new on here and i have 4 children three of my own and a step daughter who is 4.  My step daughter does not live with us and she is the one that is autistic .  I love this little girl soo much she has opened my eyes up to learning so much more in live.  She has taught me alot of patiences. My question is we are going through a big custody battle atm with her.  And i really rather not get into the detail with the whole case but there is a chance she might come live with us full time.  I want to make sure she is adjusted over time what can i do to make it a little easier on her.  Im pretty srict with routine here and i know that is really good for her but also i will have her full time and it will be a big change for all of us at the house and it kinda make me nervous cause i don't wanna not make it a bad thing for her so if any one could give some advise or just some sights or local supports groups for parents that owuld be great


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)