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Discipline 101: Find Help and Share What Works for Your Family!

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Are you looking for help disciplining your ASD child?  You've come to the right place!  Our moms have "been there, done that" and have shared some great advice.  
 

               Here are just a few helpful tips shared by moms just like you:
 

1. Base your discipline style on their level of understanding 

~ Higher functioning children can understand rewards and punishments while low functioning children may respond better to redirection rather than consequences.
 

2. Make sure they know why they're being disciplined

~ Put an "If/Then" chart on the fridge so they know what's expected and what will happen if they don't obey.

~ Get down on their level and make sure you have their attention before you speak.

~ Discuss with your child what they did wrong then make them repeat it back to you.

~ For lower functioning children, repeat short sentences they might understand.  Example: If he turns the TV up too loud -  say "Too loud, too loud, too loud" while turning down the TV. 
 

3. Use rewards along with consequences

~ Take away a privilege for bad behavior (TV, video games, computer) but be sure to reward GOOD behavior as well.  
 

4. Redirect

~ Replace "bad" behavior (throwing a ball in the house) with "good" behavior (take your child outside to throw instead).

~ Engage them in a calming activity.

~ Remove them from the situation and offer an alternate, positive activity.
 

5. Be consistent and firm

~ Don't threaten a consequence without following through.

~ Be sure you discipline for the same behavior (good and bad) with consistency.

~ Don't back down from a consequence.

~ ASD children can be very literal.  Make sure you are telling them to stop a behavior rather than asking.
 

6. Allow room for change

~ Be prepared to adjust your discipline style as your child ages and develops.


For more details on how moms implement these ideas visit one of these helpful discussions or share questions and ideas in the replies below!



by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 10:58 AM
Replies (41-50):
Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Nov. 29, 2012 at 4:24 PM

Welcome!  First thing you're going to want to do is talk to his doctor about getting him set up for some behavioral testing.  

Good luck.

Quoting nuzesba367:

This is all new to me, it is my grandson, that I 've had since birth, twins and one they think has hf aspergers,he is not agressive or anything, no bad temper but he fits some of the characterics in other areas like not having eye contact, not picking up on others body langauge, trouble riding bikes that sort of thing.I want him to do good  in school,but it's like the teachers don't know what to do, and they don't have special ed classes which I heard it's a law that they are suppose to, instead of trying to understand, they have become mean to him. any suggestions.


Michelle14210
by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 12:46 AM
My stepson has recently been diagnosed with severe aspergers. He is 12 years old and I also have a 12 son and a 9 year old daughter. I an looking for suggestions of some type of rule or behavior chart that we can use for all three kids. We don't want any of the kids to feel singled out. Any suggestions?
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Mpiggy4u
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 5:30 PM

Hi my son has gone wild after dinner climbed on the desk twice to get DVD player I was in the kitchen putting bread mix in bread maker he can't sit for time out tired holding with his heavy blanket I tap hand what should do he also climbs on the entertainment center cause want touch the TV

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM

First, make sure that your furniture is stable/secured to the walls and isn't going to tip over with him climbing on it.  

2nd, I'd suggest that you remove him from the situation, whether that means he goes in the kitchen with you, or to his room or is distracted by something else. 

Quoting Mpiggy4u:

Hi my son has gone wild after dinner climbed on the desk twice to get DVD player I was in the kitchen putting bread mix in bread maker he can't sit for time out tired holding with his heavy blanket I tap hand what should do he also climbs on the entertainment center cause want touch the TV


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:06 PM

I don't really have any ideas like that, but maybe it would help to have a family meeting and see what the three kids come up with.  I bet they'll each have some great ideas.

Quoting Michelle14210:

My stepson has recently been diagnosed with severe aspergers. He is 12 years old and I also have a 12 son and a 9 year old daughter. I an looking for suggestions of some type of rule or behavior chart that we can use for all three kids. We don't want any of the kids to feel singled out. Any suggestions?


Mpiggy4u
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank u 

jennykory
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:32 PM
1 mom liked this
We sat our son with aspergers and our nt daughter at the kitchen table and talked about house rules and consequences. Then we wrote them down on poster board. This also worked for bedtime routines. They have been up so long that they eventually fell off the wall. But now they know them without the promps and follow them. Lol. Usually that is! Also when they don't follow the rules we don't say your not listening to mom we say your not following the house hold rules. It works. And I'm the most unorganized person believe me! But this changed our lives and made it a lot easier!
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sourpatchmom098
by Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:59 PM

my 4 year old daughter was diagnosed with pdd-nos a little under a year ago. consequences and punishment is very challenging with her. Because she is so headstrong and determined redirection does not work when she has her mind set on something. she will also lash out physically and aggressively when angry or having a meltdown, and explaining things to her doesnt seem to work either because she will either scream no or tell me to shhh and then smile and laugh at me like its funny or a game. she also reacts/lashes out in different ways when at daycare than when at home (ex: she bitesthe daycare teachers occasionally, but never at home). She also struggles with eye contact so it is very hard to get her to actually look at me when im talking to her. She will repeat what i tell her, but its more of rote phrasing because she has a speech delay and echolalia. its very hard for me to not get angry with her when it is almost constant every daysurrender

SunshineBird
by Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:30 AM


I'm right where you are too! DS will be 3 in May and his communication/comprehension is very delayed. He hits and throws things whenever he gets frustrated and I can't figure out how to help him deal with it better! I've tried time-outs, redirection and "gentle touch" but nothing makes a dent in the behavior. This is our biggest struggle right now. 


Quoting D.mommyof3:

i am having a very difficult time controlling my 2 1/2 year old Autistic son.... it is EXTREAMLY difficult to get him to concertrate on a task or to listen, play properly, not kick, hit, pich, bite, or punch!!  I really need some advice on what i can do to get him to listen!!  He really doesn't comprehend much of what is being said/asked of him!  I am desperate!!  Any advice is greatly appreciated!




tonyvee
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 5:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Hello,  My son is 9 yrs old with a dx of PDD-NOS.  He is now developing a habit of taking things he wants when he knows he is going to be told iti is not available  or it is not his.  It started with little things from school and his afterschool program, which we would talk to him about and send back.  Now he has moved on to bigger things, like video games in Walmart.  What advice can anyonw give on how to stop this?

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