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Discipline 101: Find Help and Share What Works for Your Family!

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Are you looking for help disciplining your ASD child?  You've come to the right place!  Our moms have "been there, done that" and have shared some great advice.  
 

               Here are just a few helpful tips shared by moms just like you:
 

1. Base your discipline style on their level of understanding 

~ Higher functioning children can understand rewards and punishments while low functioning children may respond better to redirection rather than consequences.
 

2. Make sure they know why they're being disciplined

~ Put an "If/Then" chart on the fridge so they know what's expected and what will happen if they don't obey.

~ Get down on their level and make sure you have their attention before you speak.

~ Discuss with your child what they did wrong then make them repeat it back to you.

~ For lower functioning children, repeat short sentences they might understand.  Example: If he turns the TV up too loud -  say "Too loud, too loud, too loud" while turning down the TV. 
 

3. Use rewards along with consequences

~ Take away a privilege for bad behavior (TV, video games, computer) but be sure to reward GOOD behavior as well.  
 

4. Redirect

~ Replace "bad" behavior (throwing a ball in the house) with "good" behavior (take your child outside to throw instead).

~ Engage them in a calming activity.

~ Remove them from the situation and offer an alternate, positive activity.
 

5. Be consistent and firm

~ Don't threaten a consequence without following through.

~ Be sure you discipline for the same behavior (good and bad) with consistency.

~ Don't back down from a consequence.

~ ASD children can be very literal.  Make sure you are telling them to stop a behavior rather than asking.
 

6. Allow room for change

~ Be prepared to adjust your discipline style as your child ages and develops.


For more details on how moms implement these ideas visit one of these helpful discussions or share questions and ideas in the replies below!



by on Jan. 11, 2012 at 10:58 AM
Replies (31-40):
atkinson
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 1:51 PM

My 6yr old son has autism and he cries about everything and just repeats his self what can i do? When he asks if he can have something and i tell him no then he starts crying and will not stop less i give in.

MotherT319
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 4:36 PM

Do you know a Dina or Linda who lives in Hollywood with her 10 yr. old son.     We met casually & exchanged #'s.    But I misplaced hers.   I am embarassed about that.

 

Thank You so much,

 

Theresa

MotherT319
by on Oct. 19, 2012 at 9:08 PM

BUMP!

boots945
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 11:16 AM
1 mom liked this

How do you disipline these children, my grand sons have been abused so badly that it seems like nothing works.  Now we are using time outs and just setting in a chair for a few minutes and taking away things they like, it is very difficult

D.mommyof3
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 5:33 PM
1 mom liked this

i am having a very difficult time controlling my 2 1/2 year old Autistic son.... it is EXTREAMLY difficult to get him to concertrate on a task or to listen, play properly, not kick, hit, pich, bite, or punch!!  I really need some advice on what i can do to get him to listen!!  He really doesn't comprehend much of what is being said/asked of him!  I am desperate!!  Any advice is greatly appreciated!


nuzesba367
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:56 PM

This is all new to me, it is my grandson, that I 've had since birth, twins and one they think has hf aspergers,he is not agressive or anything, no bad temper but he fits some of the characterics in other areas like not having eye contact, not picking up on others body langauge, trouble riding bikes that sort of thing.I want him to do good  in school,but it's like the teachers don't know what to do, and they don't have special ed classes which I heard it's a law that they are suppose to, instead of trying to understand, they have become mean to him. any suggestions.

anaspiemom
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:13 PM

It is very difficult to not second guess yourself, but if you feel something is not right it might
be best to find different people to help you with your son.  My son is almost 13 and the middle school
experience has not been good.  This is a very difficult time for him and us, and when he went to middle school, it was a waste of a year academically until the new administration understood our son and his
special needs.  Add to that the fact that he is well over 6' tall,  the expectations socially and academically
from everyone are  sometimes very difficult to explain until they have worked with him, and see what we are talking about.  The teachers do not get to know him or form the same bonds that teachers who worked with him all day in the lower grades did.  I feel that they do not really know what to do with these kids in public, special, or religious schools.  You might find a great teacher every once in a while but it has been my experience that they want to push them through the system and really do not know how to educate them, or what will make them melt down. We have heard " He is one of 24 students in the class".  or my favorite, " I have never taught a child with Autism"  ( really in 25 years of teaching... do you really believe that???)   You have to always demand information and proper placements to address your son's needs, and this will make you less than popular at his school.  I am not sure if Catholic schools have the additional resources that your son might need. You may have to address with your public school district additional services for your son that might be available for him. 

Also many fathers have the same issues that many of their sons have. When they went to school years ago
Aspergers was not as well known.  He may over time have found what worked for him, be successful with is career, but still have many social issues himself.  If your son acts like your husband did when he was a child your husband will not think his son's behavior odd.  I hope things improve for you, and maybe my thoughts or experience can help.

sidnic
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 1:10 PM

This sounds so much like my son.  He is 10 years old and an only child.  The melt downs are making me so sad and frustrated.  We have told him that if he needs a break he can always tell us, and we will allow him to go to his room to settle down.  This works sometimes, but he doesn't always recognize that he needs to take some time, and if we tell him to go to his room he views it as a punishment.  In the middle of these tantrums he has to repeatedly try to get his point across by going over and over his point trying to get us to agree with him.  He also is never satisfied with anything.  Doesn't want what I cook for dinner, no good book to read, doesn't want the snacks we have, and on and on.  He was only recently diagnosed with being on the spectrum and we have just started therapy for him.  He also has ADHD and an anxiety disorder.  I believe the anxiety compounds the ASD in some situations.  In times that it isn't really a big deal if he gets his way or not I don't know if I should give in to him to save our family the 1 hour of hell, or if we should dig our heals in and not give in.  I would appreciate any advice.  This journey is completely overwhelming me at this point!

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Nov. 29, 2012 at 4:23 PM

Well... what works for one child won't always work for another, just as with typical kids.  You have to find the thing that works for each one.  For my son, it's rewards.  Things like, if you get that done we'll go to the zoo this weekend.  Taking away snacks works too (he loves food) when he does things he knows he shouldn't and returning them as he improves.

Quoting boots945:

How do you disipline these children, my grand sons have been abused so badly that it seems like nothing works.  Now we are using time outs and just setting in a chair for a few minutes and taking away things they like, it is very difficult


Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on Nov. 29, 2012 at 4:23 PM

Welcome!

That sounds like it could be either his age or the autism, very typical for both to behave these ways.  Have you spoken with his doctor about techniques that might help?

Quoting D.mommyof3:

i am having a very difficult time controlling my 2 1/2 year old Autistic son.... it is EXTREAMLY difficult to get him to concertrate on a task or to listen, play properly, not kick, hit, pich, bite, or punch!!  I really need some advice on what i can do to get him to listen!!  He really doesn't comprehend much of what is being said/asked of him!  I am desperate!!  Any advice is greatly appreciated!



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