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I'm about to break!

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:00 AM
  • 5 Replies
I really should visit this group more often but I don't because I'm still having a hard time with all of this. My 3 year old was diagnosed with ASD less than a year ago. He has progressed a lot since starting a school for children with autism. However he has been so out of control lately. I don't know how to discipline him or what to do to help him through his meltdowns. He is so difficult and I feel like I've lost all control over him!!!!!
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by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:00 AM
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Replies (1-5):
twins0506
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:13 AM
I know what you mean! Hugs!!
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odie_driver
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:40 AM

Hey! I can completely relate to being overwhelmed and frustrated and not knowing what to do! Big hugs for you!

I'd love to offer suggestions or advice - but I need a few more specifics. What is he doing that he needs the discipline? What is happening when he has a meltdown, and what does he do during them exactly? 

These will give us clues as to what the the function of the behaviors are for him, and what he needs you to do to help him cope with a meltdown when it gets out of control. I mean, no one likes to be out of control, right? Us and our kids included!

Chin up momma, we're all here with you and we know you can do this and it will get better!!

smarieljlee
by Sara on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:02 AM

(hugs)


Kittie26
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:03 AM

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Aly has her moments, but not so severe. Have you talked to his teachers or therapist about how to handle it?

Haha_ma
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:05 AM

*hugs* mama.  We all know what you are going through.  I have some days with Aidan where I just feel like I can no longer handle it.  If he is having a meltdown, I try to pinpoint the reason because that generally determines what I should do about it to calm him down.  For instance, if he is having a meltdown in the middle of Walmart, it is probably due to the the crowds or his lack of patience when we are in long lines.  I take him to an area where there are no people (or not that many) and I hold him tightly.  I tell him that it is going to be alright and that he is going to be okay.  He is nonverbal, but I am pretty sure he understands a lot of what I am saying.  If he is having a meltdown from being overwhelmed, I remove him from what is bothering him and I attempt to calm him.  I am patient and know that if I rush back into the situation I am sure to cause another meltdown.  

If he is having a meltdown out of anger for a variety of reasons (not all reasons, but many) I will place him in his calm down corner.  I discussed this corner in another thread recently, but it is basically a little are filled with some of his fave things and I make him stay there til he is calm.  This is done while at home, if away from home, I typically do what I explained in the Walmart situation.  My son likes to throw fits because he cannot get his way or what he wants that I told him he cannot have.  If he is in no danger of hurting himself or his brother.  I ignore his tanturms.  I pick him up and take him to another room and close the door.  I let him scream and cry it out.  He usually stops after a short while because he doesn't like to be in his room long when there is no one there.  If we are in public and he is having a tantrum, I quickly remove him from whatever or wherever we are.  I can always finish what I was doing at a later time or the next day.  I plan most of my errands early so that I can take into account the times I have to suspend activities due to his tantrums/meltdowns/etc.  I typically know what he is angry about and I tell him while leaving that his behavior was wrong and that we are leaving and because of his behavior, such and such is to be removed.  I continue to speak to him about his behavior and I even have a social story that details us having to leave or him having something he loves taken away from him because of his poor behavior.  

I realize that what I do is long, tiring, and many times difficult for even me to keep up with, but it works for me.  There is so much more to what we do, but it is so hard for me to put into words. 

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