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Wt do i do when he trows a super tantram

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:47 PM
  • 9 Replies

ok we whint to  the fill market to day and everything was ok untill jojo heard a dog bark near him afthere that he started to cry and afthere that he wanted something and i did not get wat he wanted so he started to sricem so bad he even started to sake and jumping up and down i try to calm his down then i try to ingnor him but that just maed it worst everone around us where just seaking there head he keep it for 45 min what do i do in a situation like this

by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:47 PM
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lizvig
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:15 PM

i am new to having a child with Autism.. it has been brought to my attention that my son who is 8 probabley is a high functioning autistic. i guess its called regressive autism.. and the women from emps have been trying to help me with coping skills.. such as.. Lowering my voice until he lower s his.. only give to options of what iexpect from him. and use words that reflect his feelings and my expectations. LIKE " I know your upset right now but, i would be happy if you calmed down.. It's either you calm down or we leave. and repeat the two options and not acknowledge if he says things like I want the toy or i want the ball. Its hard but when i use it and stick to it it does work.. but its aggravating. but im glad i finally will know whats going on with my son.. it took for me to have a nervous breakdown, my old doctor to die and her replacement doctor to be married to a nero physcologist for him to get tested.. good luck

nona2006
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:28 PM


Quoting lizvig:

i am new to having a child with Autism.. it has been brought to my attention that my son who is 8 probabley is a high functioning autistic. i guess its called regressive autism.. and the women from emps have been trying to help me with coping skills.. such as.. Lowering my voice until he lower s his.. only give to options of what iexpect from him. and use words that reflect his feelings and my expectations. LIKE " I know your upset right now but, i would be happy if you calmed down.. It's either you calm down or we leave. and repeat the two options and not acknowledge if he says things like I want the toy or i want the ball. Its hard but when i use it and stick to it it does work.. but its aggravating. but im glad i finally will know whats going on with my son.. it took for me to have a nervous breakdown, my old doctor to die and her replacement doctor to be married to a nero physcologist for him to get tested.. good luck

THANK I WILL TRY THAT AFTEHRE 30 OF HIM DOING THAT AND EVER ONE ARUND ME MAKEING FUN OF HIM AND SAYING NASTY THINGS ABOUT HIM I STARTED TO CRY BUT WILL DO THAT NOT GIVE IN I JUSTY DONT GET WHY THE BARK OF THE DOG GOT HIM SO WIERD UP IN NEW TO ALL THIS SO I DONT KNOW A THING THNKS FOR THE HELP

salsasara
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Probably two things happened there.  One, he got scared by the noise the dog made suddenly, and was trying to tell you he wanted to get away from the dog because he didn't want to hear the barking again.  Then, when you got upset or stressed out, he felt that and then got even more distressed because YOU were distressed.

So, first thing you need to do in the situation is identify if the tantrum is because he's scared, in pain or uncomfortable, or simply trying to get out of a situation/get something they want as any young child will do.  If he's scared, try to find a way to move away from what scares him, because you cannot reason with him.  If he's in pain or uncomfortable, do the best you can to alleviate it, etc.  While you're doing that, take a good deep few breaths yourself because you need to stay calm inside for him.

I agree with lizvig in that when it's a tantrum to get what they want or get out of a situation they don't want, pure manipulation (it happens, but probably not as often as you think with an autistic child), give them two choices and follow through.  Hold your ground, because if you give in, it will get worse.

Again BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE.

salsasara
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:28 PM

I wish I'd been there with you.  I'd have had their ears ringing! 

Really, for your son, he reacted that way to the dog barking because sudden sounds literally HURT their ears, even if it's not that loud.  It's the suddenness that really bothers them, more than the actual noise.

Couple that with the fact that the dog barking can be scary all by itself especially if it was a large dog.....

Quoting nona2006:


Quoting lizvig:

i am new to having a child with Autism.. it has been brought to my attention that my son who is 8 probabley is a high functioning autistic. i guess its called regressive autism.. and the women from emps have been trying to help me with coping skills.. such as.. Lowering my voice until he lower s his.. only give to options of what iexpect from him. and use words that reflect his feelings and my expectations. LIKE " I know your upset right now but, i would be happy if you calmed down.. It's either you calm down or we leave. and repeat the two options and not acknowledge if he says things like I want the toy or i want the ball. Its hard but when i use it and stick to it it does work.. but its aggravating. but im glad i finally will know whats going on with my son.. it took for me to have a nervous breakdown, my old doctor to die and her replacement doctor to be married to a nero physcologist for him to get tested.. good luck

THANK I WILL TRY THAT AFTEHRE 30 OF HIM DOING THAT AND EVER ONE ARUND ME MAKEING FUN OF HIM AND SAYING NASTY THINGS ABOUT HIM I STARTED TO CRY BUT WILL DO THAT NOT GIVE IN I JUSTY DONT GET WHY THE BARK OF THE DOG GOT HIM SO WIERD UP IN NEW TO ALL THIS SO I DONT KNOW A THING THNKS FOR THE HELP


nona2006
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:11 AM


Quoting salsasara:

Probably two things happened there.  One, he got scared by the noise the dog made suddenly, and was trying to tell you he wanted to get away from the dog because he didn't want to hear the barking again.  Then, when you got upset or stressed out, he felt that and then got even more distressed because YOU were distressed.

So, first thing you need to do in the situation is identify if the tantrum is because he's scared, in pain or uncomfortable, or simply trying to get out of a situation/get something they want as any young child will do.  If he's scared, try to find a way to move away from what scares him, because you cannot reason with him.  If he's in pain or uncomfortable, do the best you can to alleviate it, etc.  While you're doing that, take a good deep few breaths yourself because you need to stay calm inside for him.

I agree with lizvig in that when it's a tantrum to get what they want or get out of a situation they don't want, pure manipulation (it happens, but probably not as often as you think with an autistic child), give them two choices and follow through.  Hold your ground, because if you give in, it will get worse.

Again BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE.


ok one thing how do i know when is his autisiom or when is just him being a 3 yr old is there a way too tell i cant at this time i try moveing allway but he just out worst but never thoug that he can be in pain thanks for the info i did not know that sound for them coues pain

Kitten1555
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:32 AM
Everyone is giving you awesome advice! The dog barking thing could be a.total sensory issue, and some.days.he could hear 50 dogs barking loudly and it would not bother him at all......and another day he could hear 2 little barks and it could.send him over the edge! Our kids are quirky and you.can never tell exactly.what will set them off, try keeping track of anything you notice!,.a good defense is.the best offense


Quoting nona2006:



Quoting salsasara:


Probably two things happened there.  One, he got scared by the noise the dog made suddenly, and was trying to tell you he wanted to get away from the dog because he didn't want to hear the barking again.  Then, when you got upset or stressed out, he felt that and then got even more distressed because YOU were distressed.


So, first thing you need to do in the situation is identify if the tantrum is because he's scared, in pain or uncomfortable, or simply trying to get out of a situation/get something they want as any young child will do.  If he's scared, try to find a way to move away from what scares him, because you cannot reason with him.  If he's in pain or uncomfortable, do the best you can to alleviate it, etc.  While you're doing that, take a good deep few breaths yourself because you need to stay calm inside for him.


I agree with lizvig in that when it's a tantrum to get what they want or get out of a situation they don't want, pure manipulation (it happens, but probably not as often as you think with an autistic child), give them two choices and follow through.  Hold your ground, because if you give in, it will get worse.


Again BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE.



ok one thing how do i know when is his autisiom or when is just him being a 3 yr old is there a way too tell i cant at this time i try moveing allway but he just out worst but never thoug that he can be in pain thanks for the info i did not know that sound for them coues pain


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salsasara
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:56 AM
2 moms liked this

How to tell the difference?  That's a tough one....  The main thing is the expression accompanying the behavior.  If he has a panicked look on his face, or his screaming is high and shrill, it's the Autism.  If he's looking "mulish" (stubborn) and the screaming is lower, then it's a regular tantrum.  Generally speaking....

odie_driver
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 7:56 AM

Everyone has great advice! Something else for next time if you have anything like this - sounds really bother my oldest, and we've learned to carry with us an ear covering headset - she plugs it into my phone and listens to music or videos if she's overwhelmed by sounds. If you were at a busy market, he may have already been on edge just dealing with the sensory issues from that, and the bark from the dog probably sent him over the edge. 

It really depends on what your child uses to comfort himself. If it were my oldest, she likes her back rubbed and her headset on when she's upset - if it were my youngest, she likes to be squeezed tightly (a deep pressure hug) when she's upset. My oldest likes the weight of a backpack and my youngest doesn't! Distractions (like their favorite toy or an iphone or something) can really really help and give them something else to focus on other than all the chaos around them (because what's simply busy, is complete chaos for them!).

Good luck!

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on Jan. 16, 2012 at 8:17 AM

When that happens in public we get what we need at the store and leave as soon as we can, it upsets me too, to see people staring or make remarks, ((hugs))

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