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New to This!!!!

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:41 PM
  • 3 Replies

I'm new to all this and not sure what to say, I have dated my boyfriend for over two years and was with him when his oldest was diagnosed with Asperger's it has been a difficult journey for us.  We have read many articles and books and consulted with his doctors and school to find the best way to help him.  When he was diagnosed the doctor said he was on the low end of the spectrum, he doesn't have issues with fine motor skills, he has no sensory issues, and he has trouble with socializing.  He gets very anxious when he can't perform a task or play a sport like the other kids can.  He has trouble with gym and sometimes feels like all the other kids are laughing at him.  We have had a much better year and he is learning that it's ok if you can't do something as well as the other kids as long as you try your best.  He has also been taking Taekwondo for over a year and we have seen him come out of his shell he has more confidence and will go up to other kids and introduce himself and join in a group, where he use to just stand off to the side and observe.  I think my biggest frustration with his diagnosis' his how his mom deals with him.  In our house we have a lot of patience and there is structure, but he also can handle when there is a last minute change to plans and understand when you tell him why it's changed.  He is a very bright little boy and is very capable of doing things for him and learning how to do things for himself.  We have had an issue with his mother and her always saying he can't do that he has Asperger's you need to understand, we are fully aware that he has Asperger's but we are also aware that we are not helping him by always making excuses for him.  He knows how to tie his own shoes, make his bed, pick out his clothes, set and clear the table for dinner and he will always say to us mom doesn't make me do that.  He is ten and is very capable of doing everything that you and I can do I just don't understand how someone who says I don't want him to be treated any different is the same person who acts like he has a disease and is incapable of doing anything for himself.  I love both the boys like they were my own and they mean the world to me I just not sure how you make someone realize that they are treating him different.embarrassed

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:41 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Cafe AmyS
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Welcome!
JCC31
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:38 PM

Welcome to the site...I am new here too and really like this site. As in your case, I don't think you are going to get through to his mother about her being overprotective. You can say that to her...but, if she is already defensive about her son, it may not make a difference, it may make it worse. I would just consider everything you have him do at your home as "him making Progress" and keep encouraging him to do those things while he is with you two. He may even feel pride in doing some of those things like chores and show his mom soon that he can do them at home too. You can only control what is going on with your home ....you will drive yourself crazy otherwise. Good luck..You sound like a wonderful Parent.

mallowcup17
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Welcome to the group
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