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How did your other half react?

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:37 PM
  • 12 Replies

I cannot get my husband to talk about it.  The most I got was the day of the diagnoses he said, "OK we will just go from there."  Marshall's diagnoses was last week and so far, he has done nothing but avoid the conversation.  How did your other half react to the diagnoses of Autism?

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
YzmaRocks
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:42 PM
Pretty much the same way. Our son was recently diagnosed and he isn't handling it well (or at all, really). I am giving him some time to process it. I hope he comes around soon!
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Mtothe5th
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:44 PM

I am worried he is going to sweep it under the rug and try to not deal with it at all, then act surprised when it jumps up and bites him in the butt.  He is good about avoiding things.  I want him time to process it, but IDK what is a appropiate amount of time.

nicksmom217
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 7:19 PM

   don't wait for your dh, make appointments that you need and take him with you if you can, so he can hear everything him self. it took a very long time for my dh  to understand what autism is, but, he went to every appointment with me and everything i read, i would give him highlights, so he could understand better. it dose take time for man, you go forward, he will catch up. good luck

Mtothe5th
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 7:23 PM

He won't miss work for any appts.  I already tried to just get him to go to the pedi with us the other morning when he wasn't working but he decided to stay home and nap instead (he works 2nd shift, from 3-midnight, the appt, was at 9:45, he was in bed at 1 that morning and slept until 8:30 that morning, plenty of time for him to get ready to go with us after a 7.5 hours sleep - more sleep than I have had in years in one streach).

Leobaby2007
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 7:25 PM
Ummm... How did he react? BY DENYING IT- TO THIS DAY and we got our dx in September. You're going to have to do all the leg work un the meantime and pray your SO comes around. It really often does take time for the man, which has been infuriating for me personally. I hope it goes better for you!!! :-)
rsclutch86
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 7:35 PM

My husband avoided the topic at first and then he denied it and now he accepts it. All I can tell you it that most men can not just say "ok this is what is going on and we are going to put one foot in front of the other and deal with it". It takes them all time to cope, process and deal. The thing is too is that he may accept it and he may understand but he doesnt want to ADMIT it. Unfortunately you can not push and you can not make him admit or accept, all you can do is do what you need to do for your son talk to him about what is going on and leave it at that. Eventually he will come around. It may not be today or a week or a month from now but at some point he will come around but he has to do it in his time, unfortunately.

ROGUEM
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:09 PM

 This was my husband for a whole year - an ostrich with his head in the sand.  Finally I got tired of doing all the appointments, the decisions, the worrying, the therapies by myself and we had "the talk" .  He admitted that he didn't want to face it and it was a big blow to his pride.  He said he felt so powerless because he could not "fix" the problem.  He promised to get on board and be an equal partner in helping our children.  He did make good on his promise and is now my helpmate in this.

 

steph2884
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 11:26 PM
He took it better than I did. Men don't always want to talk about it though. My husband doesn't like talking about all that goes in to it, it kind of depresses him.
MrsJokes
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 2:13 AM

my husnand has been wonderful. I was afraid that he would feel that he didn't have a "whole" son, if you understand what I mean. We have 2 kids together a girl and a boy who has autism. we are not having any more children and i also thoiught perhaps he would want another. To him that is his perfect boy and he loves him dearly. He's really good with him and another thing he does well is how he explains Rebel's differences to adults and children.....He states "He likes to do his own thing". And yes, we have cried together but not for what he is but we just hope he's not hurting in any way.

hwifeandmom
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 6:50 AM

My husband wasn't opposed to learning about Asperger's, but he didn't pursue learning anything about it, either, until I gave him books with particular sections marked for him to read.  Once he started reading, he embraced the diagnosis better, but I think he embraced it more because he realized it described HIM (he's an undiagnosed Aspie).  Even then, if I wanted him to understand something about the kids, I had to hand him the info.  He never initiated it, but at least he was responsive when I specifically asked him to be.


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