How supportive are the dads of your children with ASD?

[sheabudda]

I ask because when it comes to anything ASD related I feel like I'm doing it alone unless I delegate. I am the one applying to schools, setting up evaluations, making tour appointments etc. It is like he is in denial. I understand that. I feel it sometimes but if we don't get up and act then our son suffers. I can't have that. That's why I'm asking. He is hands on with other stuff. It is frustrating and a lot for me to manage. So no to reduce my stress I delegate. If not to him then another family member. I thought we would be more of team on this. Both doing research, brainstorming ideas and asking questions. The rude awakening continues...

[Jenn8604]

My sons sperm donor and I split when I was prego. Mofu is in prison. and they only reason he would ever know hayden has autism is if i can use the excuse his insurance has to cover his therapies when douche is out and has a job. worthless mofu!!
k now i feel better.
sorry ur dh wont help u.

[nicksmom217]

   my dh is a very good man and a good father, but, when it comes to school meetings, psychiatrists, forms, resource, i am the one who is doing all and always with my son. my dh is not in denial anymore, but, this job is mine.

[momtoscott]

It takes longer, I feel, for a lot of dads to be able to handle their kids' diagnosis.  My DH helps, but he's not as active in figuring out stuff about our son's condition as I am.  But if I ask him to help with something, he's usually up for it, and that means a lot.  That your guy is willing to do the things you delegate is a plus.  Sometimes, too, it helps to have somebody who's focused on you and what makes you feel better--sometimes I use my DH as stress relief!  Lots of guys aren't good at processing the sadness/mourning, etc., that goes along with the ASD dx, they take time to come around--but I personally know some very involved ASD dads.  The moms always seem a little bit more on top of the kids' stuff, though. 

[aidensmomma508]

my hubby, my sons dad is very supportive but I do find myself doing more of the research, talking to the school, and just being involved waaaaayyy more.  

[Austinsmom4544]

We have been divorced for 5 years and he lives in another state but hasn't seen either of my boys or called in 2 years.  To be honest when were married I dealt with all of the ASD issues he was totally clueless and had no interest, which explains partly why we are divorced!  lol  :)

[tmedae]

Unfortunately my sons father has been in and out of his life, but in the last 3 years he has just been out.  He has no idea his son was diagnosed with PDD. Whatever is done is done by me alone.

[sheabudda]

Thanks, ladies. It is good to know you can relate. DH is a good man and loves our son. We are separated now so I'm wondering if some of this is his being passive aggressive. I hope one day soon he comes to erms with this diagnosis so I don't always feel like the senior parents. this is a first child for us both so it is not like I have extensive training. I am learning as I go. One thing I know from your replies: we are some strong women. Thanks for listening.

[Leobaby2007]

He's a good dad, a good husband, but I am on my own with all this developmental delay/ autism stuff. He admits our son is delayed but will NOT admit to him having autism. Simply does not believe he has it, which is not totally off the mark as our son is borderline and we had a hard time getting him dxed. Even now his PDD-NOS dx is rather tentative, but I believe he is on the autism spectrum despite his many typical behaviors. He has other behaviors that indicate autism to me.

This is not the first time, nor will it be the last time that I read a post about us moms doing most of legwork.

We are, indeed, strong women!

[crossnlilly]

I think most of the time this stuff mainly is left up to the moms. But it gets hard on us. Me and my husband had a lot of problems at first but it has gotten better. We still have fights over things. I kinda took the role on myself at first he said no to a DAN but i said i didnt care i was doing it anyways. So he left everyyhing up to me but since it has helped our daughter so much he is getting on board with things. And i know for us it helped to really sit down and discuss how we really feel . Many hugs. Hang in there

[JP-StrongForTwo]

not at all. 

my husband (her step father) is the strong supporter in her life.