Well, I am a mom....just an older one and I am here as a grandparent and trying to get some wisdom. My granddaughter is 5, non verbal and I believe autistic. I have searched the web and read many descriptions of autism and she pretty much presents with classic symtoms. I don't have a very good rapport with my daughter in law or son for that matter. They have never told us the diagnosis of autism...just that she has epilepsy. My son keeps telling me that I don't know how he feels and I don't...I guess I am just trying to get some wisdom and figure out how to help them. I would appreciate just some advice on how to be a friend to them. They take offense at everything I do, it seems. Can anyone help me understand?
Welcome to the group! How often do you talk to them? I would call them like once a week to talk casually or have them over for supper once a week for a family supper, just keep it casual and be supportive but not pushy or overwhelming. Maybe offer babysitting I know all parents like that!
Thanks for the suggestions. There are opportunites to do that but my granddaughter is so much harder to manage at my house. Her therapy swing etc is at her house. They don't like to go to other places but they don't ask us over either. She has huge temper tantrums. It's a difficult situation and I don't want it to get worse. They like to be isolated...or at least they seem to. Do you have an autistic child?
Yes I do, Maybe you could babysit over there for a limited time like tell them to go to dinner a hour?
yes, i have done that. Right now that is the problem. They asked and I had something else scheduled. They asked for 2 very long days and 1 night. I didn't want to do an over night. To be honest, I am scared of staying with her overnight. They live way out in a rural area. If there was a medical emergency, I know they would be very critical of anything I did. I told them I would come early 6:30 am and stay late and they could have the Saturday....it seemed like a good offer to me. My son got furious with me. I know a lot of what he said was said out of fatigue....they don't get a lot of sleep. I have offered to go over there and watch their 4 kids while my daughter in law went upstairs to sleep but she declined. I have done some reading about autism and learned that a lot of parents don't want to talk about the diagnosis. Do you mind if I ask you some questions? I do not know anyone else that I can ask.
Yes you can ask me, but not all the kids are the same I will tell you first but alot of issues are alike. My son is 5 years old, he has classic Autism. and is non-verbal. It took me a while to talk about the diagnoses with family then others but I do now. Ask anything! :)
Well, God bless you. I am not able to post anymore right now but will get back to you. You are being a blessing to me by being so open. I am unsure (overwhelmed??) by the opportunity and I need to regroup and think about what I want to know. Have a good weekend with your little guy. I am so grateful for your willingness to let me ask questions. I will never, ever meaningfully be rude or intrusive but please tell me if I am treading where I do not need to go. xox
Feeling Helpless....LONG
- flumpdoria
on Feb. 17, 2012 at 9:11 AM