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When Routines Get Sidetracked Vent

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:29 AM
  • 4 Replies

We all know how these children are reliant on routines. 

At school, my son (7th grade) gets tutoring after classes Tues. through Fri.  The tutor got a bright idea (without calling me) she would get in some time with him on Monday and go through his papers (I don't have to say how upset he gets when someone messes with his personal papers and routine).  He was a total mess and very uncooperative, they struggled over a pc. of paper and tore it. 

She wants to blame my son and went to the principal.  Everything is always these childrens fault when they cannot deal.  I hate sending him to school.  They don't trust him and I don't trust them.  I feel he is doomed for failure, even when the school board specialist supports us, they don't follow instructions.  

I'd like your thoughts and stories on this occurance.

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:29 AM
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Replies (1-4):
dawncs
by Dawn on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:36 AM

The middle school and high school environments are the most challenging for ASD and Asperger's Syndrome tweens, preteens and teens. They are forced to change classes and deal with a variety of different teachers unless in the self contained classrooms. It is not easy for them to adapt. The mainstream or inclusion teachers are not always equipped on how to handle these kids which leads to a lack of understanding along with problem situations. I have some resources you might find useful.

Dawn
Beautifully Talanted Autistic Social Story Author
Diagnosed Asperger Syndrome as an adult
Diagnosed Edema (since young)
Author Page: http://www.toyboxunlimited.com/ (has discounts)

aidensmomma508
by Wendy on Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:36 PM

ugh my son doesnt like his routines messed up either as im learning weekends are kinda harder to do things on a whim so i feel your pain

lukesmom98
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 7:21 PM

I read your post earlier (got booted before I could finish my response). I also went through this with my son.  It gets easier as they get older though.  Just can't seem to find a happy medium with school...lol.

When my son was younger, I would start preparing him for outings days ahead of time.  Where he had no comprehension of time I would use a calender.  I would show him where today was and what day we would have the outing.  Many times a day I would tell him about the outing.  He got to the point he would start asking me 100 X a day, but that was okay because he was acknowledging the event.  As we got nearer event time I would explain what would occur during the event and expected behavior.  This process worked with my son and we all eventually started enjoying the outings.  Now he usually is the best behaved and social person there.

As he got more familiar with days and hours, he hung the calender up in his room and would check off thedays.

Last minute outtings was hard but as he got older he loves to go and asks us to take him places all the time.

I appreciate your words of support and hope I have shared the same.

kickinit
by on Mar. 5, 2012 at 12:19 AM

I am a homeshcool mom of a son with a dx of adhd and now possilby aspergers.  I would like to say our public school experience was a good one.  but as you've noticed above...we homeschool.  it like your sons was unbearable!  they do not understand...and really don't care to understand. 

stand up for your son.  he was wrong to tear the paper...but if not put in the situation he would not have done it at all!  i'm now seeing those same frustruting problems with my autistic nephew we are now caring for.  they were having trouble getting him to come in off the playground.  everyday...complaining he's not comming in off the playground...well he finally started comming in off the playground..but with a handful of snow.  now he's in trouble for the handful of snow when he comes in off the playground...so guess who now does not want to come in off the playground again.  Frickin serious...pick your battles people!  Is is more important that he nicely comes in off the polayground with a small handful of snow...or do you w to punish him for the snow and fight with him to com off the playground.  Gosh, seems like a no brainer to me!  but, they can't think resonably i believe.  they are so hung up on rule rule rules..never considering that our children can't comprhend all their freekin lame rules...pick one and go on with life,eye? 

I have nothing mmore to offer in advice.  but i feel for you and youshould not feel bad for sticking up for him!  don't let them make a big  deal out of hthis.  its a total nonissue.  pretend like it did not happen.  god bless

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