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Seriously DH, stop that!

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:49 PM
  • 11 Replies

You know, it's a battle trying to get his parents to believe our son is on the spectrum. We spent the last night (DH returned from a job, had to do some data entry stuff that was going to take awhile, so the kiddo and I drove over to be with him), and this morning his dad actually started asking questions about him, which you know I kind of thought was nice. He is completely awed by how smart he is. But getting him to understand that there are different types of autism and that they are not always going to be so obvious... well, that's the battle. But I'm thinking, ok, at least he's asking questions. But you can tell he still has that doubt.

But DH has to comment about how he thinks the teachers sometimes overexaggerate or make up the behavioral issues he has... maybe they do (I don't think so though), but expressing that opinion to your parents when we have been trying to make them understand really does not help matters at all!

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kittie26
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:53 PM

Have you voiced it to your DH that he needs to knock it off? They really do need to fully understand in order to accept the diagnosis, even if that means your husband doesn't voice every single one of his own opinions. He has you to do that with.

thatgirl70
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 4:24 PM


Quoting Kittie26:

Have you voiced it to your DH that he needs to knock it off? They really do need to fully understand in order to accept the diagnosis, even if that means your husband doesn't voice every single one of his own opinions. He has you to do that with.

Yeah, we're gonna talk about it more later. I hope that this is something he is not in the habit of doing. We need to be on a united front when it comes to his parents.

Kittie26
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 4:26 PM

I agree, you definitely need to be united. Some things are better kept within the two of you and not blabbed to your parents or his. It's another thing entirely if they are fully on board and can understand the frustrations. If they're not, then he's just giving them reasons to doubt rather than accept. Good luck with your talk!

Quoting thatgirl70:


Quoting Kittie26:

Have you voiced it to your DH that he needs to knock it off? They really do need to fully understand in order to accept the diagnosis, even if that means your husband doesn't voice every single one of his own opinions. He has you to do that with.

Yeah, we're gonna talk about it more later. I hope that this is something he is not in the habit of doing. We need to be on a united front when it comes to his parents.


thatgirl70
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 4:28 PM

Exactly, that's how I feel! 

Quoting Kittie26:

I agree, you definitely need to be united. Some things are better kept within the two of you and not blabbed to your parents or his. It's another thing entirely if they are fully on board and can understand the frustrations. If they're not, then he's just giving them reasons to doubt rather than accept. Good luck with your talk!

Quoting thatgirl70:


Quoting Kittie26:

Have you voiced it to your DH that he needs to knock it off? They really do need to fully understand in order to accept the diagnosis, even if that means your husband doesn't voice every single one of his own opinions. He has you to do that with.

Yeah, we're gonna talk about it more later. I hope that this is something he is not in the habit of doing. We need to be on a united front when it comes to his parents.



RockinMama0608
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 5:26 PM

I would try talking to him about what opinions should be mentioned in front of parents and which should remain between the two of you.  It is tough to explain autism to people who do not fully understand it.  I wish you the best of luck!

RockinMama0608
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 5:27 PM

Also, have you tried going to a support group or meeting with other parents of autistic kids?  Maybe that will help him understand the spectrum more and how it differs from child to child. 

thatgirl70
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 6:15 PM


Quoting RockinMama0608:

Also, have you tried going to a support group or meeting with other parents of autistic kids?  Maybe that will help him understand the spectrum more and how it differs from child to child. 

I don't know of any here.

Are you talking about DH understanding or FIL? DH understands perfectly.

RockinMama0608
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:22 PM

Oh, I misread it!  I was thinking that your DH wasn't understanding the spectrum, sorry!  Taking FIL to a support group could help too.  I live in an area where there aren't any support groups either so I understand the trouble of finding one.  I hope he starts to understand the spectrum soon.  ((hugs))

Quoting thatgirl70:


Quoting RockinMama0608:

Also, have you tried going to a support group or meeting with other parents of autistic kids?  Maybe that will help him understand the spectrum more and how it differs from child to child. 

I don't know of any here.

Are you talking about DH understanding or FIL? DH understands perfectly.


thatgirl70
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 7:54 PM

Thank you. It's both FIL & MIL don't get it...actually pretty much everyone on DH's side doesn't get it (and I don't talk to my family so that's irrelevent, LOL). I refused to have anything to do with BIL for a long time after some stupid crap he said.

Quoting RockinMama0608:

Oh, I misread it!  I was thinking that your DH wasn't understanding the spectrum, sorry!  Taking FIL to a support group could help too.  I live in an area where there aren't any support groups either so I understand the trouble of finding one.  I hope he starts to understand the spectrum soon.  ((hugs))

Quoting thatgirl70:


Quoting RockinMama0608:

Also, have you tried going to a support group or meeting with other parents of autistic kids?  Maybe that will help him understand the spectrum more and how it differs from child to child. 

I don't know of any here.

Are you talking about DH understanding or FIL? DH understands perfectly.



greenmommo
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 8:18 PM
Sounds like something my DH would say. I heard a comedian say this morning that women's brains are like cable modems while men's are like dial up. :)

Hopefully it's easily resolved so he'll be better prepped in the future.
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