What was your infant or toddler like? I'm new and could use any advice or support.
I am new to this group and am looking for advice and support. My DH and I have a 19 month old son and we are a family in crisis. We have walked on egg shells and feel like we have tiptoed around our ds since his birth. We don't go out, never get any sleep, and feel like we are desperate for help!
He does not currently have a diagnosis, but is seeing a developmental pediatrician in June. He is currently in speech therapy and has had occupational therapy (which did not rly help that much bc they were not able to witness prob behaviors and gave suggestions that did not seem to help him). He appears to have average intelligence, so that isn't a concern at this pt. Here are his issues that I am looking for advice/support on as most of the research I do, does not focus on infancy and toddlers. Can anyone identify w/ any of this...
My DS from 0-6 Months was VERY colicky and cried for most of the day all day. He did not like to be held, swaddled, shushed, or rocked. Nothing comforted him ie music, a car ride, swing, or bouncer. When he was sleepy, he fought sleep. He was NEVER happy being held and when he was strong enough tried to get out of your arms by throwing back his head, but was not happy being put down either. He refused to be held or sit in my lap until he was about 14mts old. About 95% of the time he did not like his diaper changed or being dressed. Sometimes, it took my DH and I both to dress and diaper him as he would scream, cry, twist, flail, and try to get away. (At 19 mts this has somewhat improved)
I started to have some major concerns (around 8 mts). When we would talk to him, he would not make eye contact and stared right through you as if you were not there and he still sometimes does this. When I, or my husband, would pick him up from daycare and he wouldn't look at or acknowledged us, despite me calling his name over and over. His hearing was checked and he hears fine. He had a very delayed social smile and tends to be more on the serious side.
He was born with high muscle tone and has always been very strong. He pulled to stand 7-8 months and walked well at 10 mts. He is very clumsy and hurts himself a lot, scrapes and bruises. He has a high pain tolerance, because often he can fall hard and does not respond and has only begun seeking comfort in the past month.
Since birth he's had strange tantrums that seem to have no trigger. Sometimes it is when you do not react to his need immediately. 1 ex: If he wants out of his highchair, he wants it rt now and if you can't get to him, he will hurt himself in an effort to get out. He also has delayed speech and has difficulty communicating what he needs and I know that is frustrating to him. At 12 months he wasn't saying a word, not even mama or daddy. His first words were finally diaper and ball. At 19 mts he can consistently communicate mama, milk, and help (with no eye contact usually). However, much of the talking that he is doing rt now is just repeating what he hears multiple times. It often doesn't make sense in the context. If he is fussy, I might say "it's ok buddy". Then I hear him repeating "ok buddy" over and over.
He becomes obsessed with things like playing with a door or wanting to go outside. He is not like the typical toddler, he CANNOT be distracted from something he wants! My husband and I have to talk in code or spell out words because if he hears one word like ‘go', ‘shoes', or outside' that triggers a tantrum. Nothing can change his focus.
He has always had sleep issues. Despite sleep training, a weighted blanket, white noise, music, blackout curtains, varying the pj's he wears, putting him on acid reflux medication etc. he is up anywhere between 4-25 times a night. So much so that we have scheduled him for a sleep study. He's been in a toddler bed for 2 mts, due to climbing out of his crib.
Other issues...Very picky eater and will sometimes refuse to eat or sit in a highchair. He would rather not eat all day (despite being hungry) as opposed to sitting in the highchair. (It's not that we wouldn't feed him, he was with the babysitter and had a cold when this 1st started, she just thought he wasn't hungry.)
Continues to put things in his mouth (has never stopped this) like a 6 mt old behavior. He continues to drool like an infant.
He has recently begun having tantrums at daycare and the doctor's office which is escalating.
He does a lot of hand flapping when excited or frusterated.
He prefers to play with things that aren't toys and climbs a lot (Which is normal), but he doesn't have an attachment to a toy or object. He is into EVERYthing and doesn't seem to understand "No".
Sorry this is so long. I'm just wondering if anyone can identify w/ these baby toddler issues?